You're Safe from the Weight of the World

Jack POV:

I gazed at Alex, looking at his calm expression. His breaths became slower and more labored. He looked so relaxed and content. A small smile slid on my face. I leaned over and closed the light. With that, I curled up closer to Alex and went to sleep too.

It felt like only minutes when suddenly I felt someone moving. I opened my eyes sleepily to Alex apologizing for waking me up.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled half sleeping.

"I really need to write something, I'm really really sorry for waking you up. I'll just go."

"No don't go. You can write in here." I said. If I was awake already, I may as well spend time with Alex.

"Ok." He agreed simply. He opened the light, ignoring my complains at the light. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from my bedside table and start scrawling on the paper quickly.

I looked at his intense expression and wondered what he was writing. I assumed it was a song and I wondered if it had something to do with what happened earlier. Why would he wake up in the middle of the night to write?

He was so focused, staring at the paper as he continued to write. I hoped maybe with writing he'd feel better.

It seemed like a long time that Alex wrote. His hand didn't stop for a second. Something about how it was the middle of the night made this feel surreal yet perfect, as if the world stopped for a second. Nothing existed but Alex and his pen. This didn't fail to bring another small smile.

Finally Alexs hand stopped and with florish, he lifted the pen from the paper. He stared at the writing again, rereading. He had such a neterual expression, as if he wasn't happy or sad, just existing no more no less.

"I'm done." He said simply, stating a easy fact.

"Could I see?" I asked quietly. The curiousity was killing me but I wouldn't pressure Alex into showing me if he didn't want to.

"Okay." He said. He handed me the paper. "I don't know how good it is-" He started.

"I'm sure its amazing." I said.

I started reading the words quickly, imagining how Alex would sound singing them. His writing was messy but easily read, nothing like my scrawl.

Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -
it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

"Wow." I said quietly. There wasn't anything else to say. It was amazing, so perfectly written.

He gave me a small smile and muttered thank you.

"I think I should go home." He said.

"Why?" I asked immediately. I loved having Alex here and I thought he felt the same.

"I need to go home. I can't stay here."

I checked my phone to see the time was 3:43AM. It felt way too late to drive, or even get out of bed completely.

"Couldn't you just stay the night?" I tried.

"I really need to go home. I can't stay at your house forever."

"Just stay the night? Don't go." I said, looking at his light brown eyes. I didn't want him to go alone, to leave me, to disappear with the contstant fear of his father.

"I-" He started, then looked at me again. "Ok."

He stood there for a second, hesitating. "I'll go home tomorrow." He said, giving me a small smile.

With that, he returned next to me in bed and we started spooning, me being the big spoon. I loved how Alex felt against me, how perfectly we fit. He was everything to me and I hated the thought he was sad. I wished I could just take it all away. And yet, I knew I couldn't. Nothing hurt more than not being able to fix whatever Alex was going through. I just had to trust him and know that he'd tell me if he wanted.

He snuggled closer to me and we drifted to sleep. I promised myself quietly that I'd talk to Alex about it as soon as I could, hoping maybe I could share a bit of his burden.