You're Safe from the Weight of the World

Jack POV:

"Don't stop." Alex whispered breathlessly.

I smiled as I gently kissed the sensitive spot on his neck. He moaned slightly, a quiet hot moan. I could feel it turning me on.

I kissed his lips sweetly. I could feel him smiling as he kissed me back. His cold hands ran up and down my bare back, sending shivers. I caressed his face gently.

"I love you Jack." He whispered.

"I love you too." I answered looking into his warm cinnamon eyes.

Just someone tried to open the bus door. I jumped.

"It's ok, we locked it." Alex reassured me.

"Why is the door locked?" Paul's voice echoed.

Emerald Moon insisted we'd have on mature adult, as Matt is the same age as us so Paul joined us.

The only problem was he didn't know about my relationship with Alex. He thought we were friends and that's it. We didn't know how to break the news to him, and if it was a good idea.

What if he was homophobic? I used to think that nothing could happen from telling. My parents accepted me and even when I'd get bullied, it was mainly because of Blake and not being gay. But after seeing Alex's dad I knew differently. I never wanted anything like that to happen. It was better to hide our relationship.

I quickly dis tangled myself from Alex's sheets and threw on my shirt. Alex put on his shirt, a disappointed look in his eyes.

"Next time." I sighed. He nodded, a sad look covering his face.

I unlocked the door. Paul entered asking why the door was locked.

"I just-" I said trying to find a excuse.

"It's night and um-" Alex continued trying to help me.

"We were scared." I finished.

Paul stared at us incredulously. Alex gave me a look that clearly said that's the best thing you could think of?.

"You were scared because its night?" Paul asked.

"Yes." Alex answered. Paul just looked confused and slightly suspicious.

"Well don't lock it next time." He said, going to the back of the bus.

"Really Jack? We were scared of the night?" Alex taunted jokingly.

"Well why did you say that it's night!" I answered, laughing.

"Now we won't be able to go on long romantic walks at night." Alex joked.

"We'll go on long romantic walks in the morning. You know the night is kind of scary. " I said laughing.

"Seriously though maybe we should tell him we're together. Everyone else already knows so if Paul would know we wouldn't have to hide it anymore." Alex said reluctantly.

"I don't think so. Who knows what he'd do?" I said.

"He'll find out eventually!" Alex countered. "I hate hiding our relationship."

"We just need to hide it from him. It's not that big of a deal." I answered, trying to relax him. Why couldn't he see how dangerous it could be to tell Paul?

"And everyone at shows, and basically everyone we meet! It's like you don't want to even acknowledge we're together."

There was a silence as I realized what he said. I couldn't believe he thought that.

"Of course I love that we're together! How could you think otherwise? I just don't want anyone to hurt us!"

"Well I'm sick and tired of not seeing you because we're hiding it."

With that he turned around and walked out of the bus.

"Where are you going?" I asked, concerned as he sulked out.

"I need to think." He muttered, leaving me alone with that silence.

I still couldn't believe he said I don't want to acknowledge we're together. Couldn't he see how dangerous it was, how easily people knowing would ruin everything? Why was he being so ignorant?

And then just walking away before we could fix our problems. Normally I was the more immature one out of the two of us but right now he was just acting like a little kid.

I was so frustrated. I need to talk to him, to fix this. And he has to just walk away.

So many awful things can happen from telling Paul. I always thought Alex would agree with me there, that he'd see why it was a bad idea. I always thought we agreed only to tell people we're close to, people we can trust.

I sat down on the couch and decided I'd wait for Alex to come back. He'd relax and we could discuss everything. I put on Enema of the State, relaxing to my favorite album.

All of the songs reminded me of Alex, of Baltimore. I missed those times already. We'd been on tour for almost a month. It was hectic and busy but I enjoyed it. There was something so magical about preforming everyday, just playing music. Why did I still miss high school? I never thought I'd miss those days, especially since I'm doing something I love.

The album flew by, taking time with it. I put on Dude Ranch, deciding on a Blink marathon. Zack, Rian and Matt came back from the bar at around 12. Alex still wasn't back.

I finished Dude Ranch and put on Blink 182. Alex still wasn't back. I know he likes being alone sometimes and he says it helps him think but I was truly getting worried.