You're Safe from the Weight of the World

Alex POV:

I curled up in my bunk trying to sleep. I just couldn't.

I've always loved how quiet the night is, how serene and full of possibility it is, nothing like the loud morning, so obnoxious.

Somehow today's show kept running through my head. How it felt when someone recognized us, how it felt to actually have the power to make a room full of people get up on their feet. To have a chance to make people look at you.

In a way it was amazing. It was better than anything. The unbelievable energy, the way the world disappeared. It was just you, the band, and the crowd. Nothing else existed. I loved it.

I couldn't stop thinking about the lyric "You've got to show them what it means to be alive."

I remembered looking at Urethra Chronicles 2, all those months ago with Zack Rian and Jack. It felt right then. Looking at them making music, being a band made us want to be one. They made us feel alive. All those concerts, all those musicians, those celebrities, they inspire other people. They make other people feel alive. How amazing would it be to do the same to someone? To offer a few minutes of forgetfulness, of a escape. I couldn't think of a better thing to do with my time.

But it was so scary. You have to be there. You can't break. You have to be so careful. You have to inspire. You can't make mistakes. You can't mess up.

I turned around and saw Jacks sleeping form on the bunk across from me. I was so happy when we told Paul. It meant we could be together without hiding. But if the band thing worked out, and it had to, we'd have to hid it all day as well.

I remembered that show last year, that awful awful show when we told the crowd we were together. I couldn't let that happen again. The jeering crowd, how close and claustrophobic everything felt, my panic attack.

It couldn't happen again. I refused to let it happen again. It ruined the show not just for me but for the entire band. It couldn't happen again. It just couldn't. I just wanted some guarantee.

With thoughts pulling me down I finally drifted to sleep.

I woke up with Jack yelling "Alex wake up, we're going home today!"

A smile crept onto my face. Home. Baltimore. I was happy to come back. I loved touring but nothing beat home.

I jumped out of bed screaming "hell yeah!" Jack gave me a smile.

I walked up to the main bit of the bus, talking to Jack, Zack and Matt. Then I spent the rest of the time just watching tv and doing basically nothing.

Finally we entered Baltimore. It felt so amazing to come home. We'd been touring for two months. I missed it all.

The bus slowly came to a stop. From the window I could see my dad came to accompany me home. Jack had a frown on his face but I was happy.

"Are you still going to live with him?" He asked.

"Yes." I answered with certainty.

"But I still-" he started before stopping himself and saying "Ok. Just call me if something happens ok? Don't keep it a secret." He said looking into my eyes.

"Yes Jack don't worry." I said, giving him a smile.

My dad wouldn't hurt me again. He said he was over it. I believe him.

I grabbed all my suitcases and guitar and walked out of the bus after saying good bye to everyone.

We had a meeting with Emerald Moon in a week or so to discuss what we'd do now. I just hoped for good. The tour was amazing. Someone recognized us. Isn't that a start? We sold the 1000 copies that we were supposed to. I was looking forward to the future.

Jack walked next to me talking about the tour. I was too busy looking at my dad. He looked exactly as I remembered him. He had a smile on his face and as I came closer he wrapped his arms around me. Jack took a few steps back, looking suspicious.

I smiled, bringing my father closer. I loved hugging him. His hugs were always the best.

"Alex you're back. I miss-" he started to say before stopping and saying "It's good you're back."

I felt so confused. Why was he about to tell me he missed me and then change his mind?

Shrugging a bit I gave him a smile. I was sure my dad and I could solve everything.

We were family. Family has to work out.