Status: active, hopefully
Untouchable
burning brighter than the sun
Two hours.
Jasmine knew she shouldn’t, but she looked at her watch again for the hundredth time that night and mentally cursed when she saw that it was now exactly 10 PM.
Two hours.
She breathed in and breathed out. She was trying so hard to stay calm. I’ll be there, I promise. He promised.
Two hours.
This was even worse than the last time, she bitterly thought. Hi, you’ve reached– At least the last time he had the decency to pick up his phone.
Two hours.
Three unfinished essays. Two upcoming exams. An overnight shift at the cafè. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Finals week. She thought about all of the things she had left neglected for this; all in vain.
Two hours.
She grew tired of acknowledging the pity looks from the waitress across the room – who had stop asking for her order an hour ago – so Jasmine fixed her eyes on her lap, only to be painfully reminded that she had bought the brand new little black dress she was wearing just for the occasion; the kind that she knew he would like.
Two hours.
She thought about his dimples and his aggravating jokes. She thought about his loud laughs and his pointless stories. She thought about his lingering scent that was left on her skin for days whenever she got to touch him even just a little bit. She thought about his messy curls and his ugly boots. She thought about his midnight calls, help me sleep Jasmee, he would always say. She thought about his green, comforting orbs and how she missed them the most. She thought about him all the time and yet she couldn't remember when was the last time she saw him; he felt like a lost memory, she thought, especially now.
Two hours.
Her phone vibrated silently on her lap and unexpectedly the name Louis Tomlinson flashed across it; Jasmine knew instantly what she was about to hear.
-
“Jas. Jasmine. Oh my God I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I've been trying to reach you all day, but my phone wont fucking turn on. There seems to be a problem with everyone else’s too because they won’t catch any reception here. I was desperate to reach you earlier I swear. Dear God I’m so so sorry Jas.”
-
“They wanted us to leave early Jas. Tonight. They wanted us to perform a surprise show in New York first before we head out to Japan. I’d begged them to spare me just a couple hours more here, to let me catch the first flight tomorrow morning or something, but they had already booked the flight and hotels and the management wanted us to leave together. I’ve tried to reach you earlier today, but they needed me here all the time and my phone was just being a piece of shit and God I know you’ve probably waited for me there forever. God, I’m so so sorry Jas, I’m so – “
Click.
Two hours.
Jasmine was still fucking surprise how much it could hurt no matter how many times it had happened before. His words felt like a black hole inside her heart; it was sucking all of her insides by force, turning and lurching, until Jasmine could feel nothing else but blunt hollowness.
Two hours.
She should’ve yelled. She should’ve cursed. She should’ve told him about the piles of assignments she had neglected or the little black dress he didn’t get to see or how she hadn’t eaten anything since noon. She should’ve shout at him and called him names and told him to go to hell because she was sick of getting stood up all the time.
But she didn’t.
Instead she told him that she understood and to have a safe trip; what’s done was done.
Two hours.
She tried to act nonchalant when Sam asked her how dinner went. Jasmine knew she wasn’t fooling anyone though because after that Sam tried to subtlety leave whatever she was doing then and went to make her toasts and a cup of tea. Jasmine did feel a little bit better for that, but it didn’t last.
Two hours.
Her bedroom walls were covered in endless of pointless polaroid pictures; her dogs, her house, parks and beaches in summer, wet snow in winter – but off course her eyes just had to catch that one picture of him. The only one; his face childlike, his lips parted, his eyes grinning – the side of him that made her loose control over her own heart.
It wasn't fair, she thought.
It wasn’t fair to love someone this much that it hurt and it stung and it ached in the worst ways possible.
It wasn’t fair to have him being ripped away from her all the time.
Two hours
An hour before dawn Jasmine was one sentence away from finishing her 1000 words essay. Her eyelids were heavy and her limbs were unpleasantly stiff when she noticed her phone screen flashed.
I love you Jasmee. Sorry for everything.
Her throat tightened and she felt hot tears forming behind her eyes; she could almost hear him. She could almost see him standing there in front of her, looking as sad and as shitty as she was.
One single tear managed to dropped down her cheek and Jasmine wiped it away furiously; she had learned, one too many times, that crying about it would change nothing.
She turned off her phone. She was not going to text him back.
Because for the first time in two years Jasmine found herself grasping the hard, cold truth: their world were getting farther and farther apart and no one was to blame.
Jasmine knew she shouldn’t, but she looked at her watch again for the hundredth time that night and mentally cursed when she saw that it was now exactly 10 PM.
Two hours.
She breathed in and breathed out. She was trying so hard to stay calm. I’ll be there, I promise. He promised.
Two hours.
This was even worse than the last time, she bitterly thought. Hi, you’ve reached– At least the last time he had the decency to pick up his phone.
Two hours.
Three unfinished essays. Two upcoming exams. An overnight shift at the cafè. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Finals week. She thought about all of the things she had left neglected for this; all in vain.
Two hours.
She grew tired of acknowledging the pity looks from the waitress across the room – who had stop asking for her order an hour ago – so Jasmine fixed her eyes on her lap, only to be painfully reminded that she had bought the brand new little black dress she was wearing just for the occasion; the kind that she knew he would like.
Two hours.
She thought about his dimples and his aggravating jokes. She thought about his loud laughs and his pointless stories. She thought about his lingering scent that was left on her skin for days whenever she got to touch him even just a little bit. She thought about his messy curls and his ugly boots. She thought about his midnight calls, help me sleep Jasmee, he would always say. She thought about his green, comforting orbs and how she missed them the most. She thought about him all the time and yet she couldn't remember when was the last time she saw him; he felt like a lost memory, she thought, especially now.
Two hours.
Her phone vibrated silently on her lap and unexpectedly the name Louis Tomlinson flashed across it; Jasmine knew instantly what she was about to hear.
-
“Jas. Jasmine. Oh my God I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I've been trying to reach you all day, but my phone wont fucking turn on. There seems to be a problem with everyone else’s too because they won’t catch any reception here. I was desperate to reach you earlier I swear. Dear God I’m so so sorry Jas.”
-
“They wanted us to leave early Jas. Tonight. They wanted us to perform a surprise show in New York first before we head out to Japan. I’d begged them to spare me just a couple hours more here, to let me catch the first flight tomorrow morning or something, but they had already booked the flight and hotels and the management wanted us to leave together. I’ve tried to reach you earlier today, but they needed me here all the time and my phone was just being a piece of shit and God I know you’ve probably waited for me there forever. God, I’m so so sorry Jas, I’m so – “
Click.
Two hours.
Jasmine was still fucking surprise how much it could hurt no matter how many times it had happened before. His words felt like a black hole inside her heart; it was sucking all of her insides by force, turning and lurching, until Jasmine could feel nothing else but blunt hollowness.
Two hours.
She should’ve yelled. She should’ve cursed. She should’ve told him about the piles of assignments she had neglected or the little black dress he didn’t get to see or how she hadn’t eaten anything since noon. She should’ve shout at him and called him names and told him to go to hell because she was sick of getting stood up all the time.
But she didn’t.
Instead she told him that she understood and to have a safe trip; what’s done was done.
Two hours.
She tried to act nonchalant when Sam asked her how dinner went. Jasmine knew she wasn’t fooling anyone though because after that Sam tried to subtlety leave whatever she was doing then and went to make her toasts and a cup of tea. Jasmine did feel a little bit better for that, but it didn’t last.
Two hours.
Her bedroom walls were covered in endless of pointless polaroid pictures; her dogs, her house, parks and beaches in summer, wet snow in winter – but off course her eyes just had to catch that one picture of him. The only one; his face childlike, his lips parted, his eyes grinning – the side of him that made her loose control over her own heart.
It wasn't fair, she thought.
It wasn’t fair to love someone this much that it hurt and it stung and it ached in the worst ways possible.
It wasn’t fair to have him being ripped away from her all the time.
Two hours
An hour before dawn Jasmine was one sentence away from finishing her 1000 words essay. Her eyelids were heavy and her limbs were unpleasantly stiff when she noticed her phone screen flashed.
I love you Jasmee. Sorry for everything.
Her throat tightened and she felt hot tears forming behind her eyes; she could almost hear him. She could almost see him standing there in front of her, looking as sad and as shitty as she was.
One single tear managed to dropped down her cheek and Jasmine wiped it away furiously; she had learned, one too many times, that crying about it would change nothing.
She turned off her phone. She was not going to text him back.
Because for the first time in two years Jasmine found herself grasping the hard, cold truth: their world were getting farther and farther apart and no one was to blame.
♠ ♠ ♠
hello there.
This story is going to be short, maybe three to five chapters tops. To whoever read this: I reaaally would like to know what you think :) Feel free to subscribe, recs, comments or even criticize!
This story is going to be short, maybe three to five chapters tops. To whoever read this: I reaaally would like to know what you think :) Feel free to subscribe, recs, comments or even criticize!