Decemberunderground

"I want to start a band." He said to her with a slight smile playing on his lips.

It was the first time he had ever revealed anything personal to her; even something so minor. She could tell this was the beginning of a big change in their relationship.

"Who are you going to start this band with?" She questioned, pure curiosity filling her every word. She was genuinely interested, for he had never opened himself up at all before. His December flesh was melting away, just as the snow was outside his apartment.

"I..." He trailed off for a brief moment, debating with himself whether he should tell her or not. He always questioned the details of his life to expose, and the ones to keep hidden. One hundred percent of his life had been kept hidden from everyone, until now. "An old friend of mine." He continued. "Jade. He plays guitar. We always talked about forming a band one day, and something is telling me it's now."

Avery was surprised at the extent of Davey's conversation. It was the most amount of words he had ever spoken to her at once. "I think that sounds like a great idea." She smiled.

He smiled back, but then forced the smile away. Showing emotion? He couldn't. Instead, he took her by the hand and led her into his dark living room, sitting her down on the couch and seating himself in a chair across from her.

"For a change, I'll refrain from hiding all of me from you." He said, looking deep into her eyes. He had made the choice to stop being so passive, and allow her in through the tightly locked gates of his heart. "Today, this small favor I'm asking: hold me. You may drop me tomorrow."

She brought a hand to her heart at his words. With just those small, short sentences, she could feel all of his past pain sinking into her. A well of emotions suddenly surfaced and she couldn't explain what she was feeling.

The feelings dissipated as he spoke again. "When I was younger, I was thrown into a catholic school. God had never helped me, so I didn't think I should have to worship him in return." He pressed a hand against his neck and his fingers played with a sliver chain. From beneath his shirt, he revealed an inverted cross hanging on the chain. Avery watched the minimal light in the room glint off the jewelry.

"I told my mother and step father about my desire to be in a band, but was put down. Performing, putting on makeup, and being someone else was not God's work." He looked down at his long, painted nails. "But to me, being who I was normally, wasn't who I was born to be. I watched all my dreams fall through."

Avery stopped him. "What... What happened to your real father?"

Davey sighed. He was starting to realize that being open to another person brought back a lot of memories he had shoved to the back of his mind to collect dust and one day hopefully be destroyed. "He died when I was three."

"I'm so sorry." She half whispered, unable to bring her voice up to full volume.

He shook his head as to say it's not her fault. "I think that's enough for one day." He stood, walked around the back of the chair, down the hall, and disappeared into his room, closing the door behind him. Avery felt as all of his progress had been drained and the gates were locked up tight again. She only got a glimpse of his pain. There was so much more hidden, so much more darkness, that she didn't see yet.