Heaven Help Us

[Eliza]

The next morning I awoke in drenched in sweat. I clenched my face and started to cry. Those dreams, they come every once in a while, they're horrifying. All I see are bodies covering the floor, I don't know if they're dead or a live, and I'm lying on a bloody mattress. There's a man above me, forcing himself inside me. No matter how hard I scream or push him away none of the bodies help me, they just stare at me with cold, lifeless eyes. It's one of those dreams where you can kind of feel whats going on, and I feel everything, and it /hurts/. It hurts like a thousand knives entering my body at once. I always wake up as he's whispering something in my ear: "Merci Pour Le Venin" I've been meaning to find out what it means, but I don't speak-whatever language it is.

I sat up and looked around the room to see Ray lying on the floor. He's still asleep. I look out the window and it's still dark out. The clock in the corner says 1:45 am. I sigh and reach for the phone. I dial Mikey's number and hope that he's awake.

"Hello?" A voice that was clearly not Mikey's said on the other end.

"Mikey?"

"He's asleep."

"Well can you tell him Eliza called?"

"Mhm." The voice said before hanging up.

I leaned back and dialed Frank.

"Hello?" He sounded as if he had been awake.

"Hey, it's Eliza, I didn't wake you did I?"

"Nah, I was up writing a new song, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just can't sleep."

"Why? You scared of the dark or something?"

"No! I just-I can't sleep."

We talked all night until the next day. We talked about everything, Frank's family, my life-well the good parts anyway-, his band, Mikey-everything.

Frank yawned min-laugh, "I think I should try to get some sleep before I fall asleep in class again."

"Good idea,"

We said our good nights and hung up. It was 5 am and the sun was peeking through, I pulled the blankets over my head and fell asleep.

[Gerard]

"You don't have a fever," My dad said feeling my forehead.

"Donald if he's not feeling well then he's not feeling well." My mom said from over in the corner.

He gave me a look of disbelief, " I just don't see anything wrong with you,"

"Donald-"

"Could you leave us alone for a minute sweet pea?"

Sighing, my mom walked upstairs, "I'm making breakfast."

My dad and I were alone, which was rare. It's not that I didn't like my dad, but I was pretty bent on being alone a lot of the time.

"So, why don't you wanna go to school?"

"I don't feel well."

"Is it because of that kid? Because if it is-"

I gave him a pleading look for him to drop it,

"Look Gerard, you can't run from everything, some things just have to be taken head on."

"Dad I don't /want/ to deal with this, can't we just let it go?"

"Be that as it may, no, no son of mine is gonna be a coward, get up, you're going to school. End of story."

"But dad-"

"Now."

I got up and got dressed. Which wasn't too hard it was more like 'which black shirt should I wear today'. I decided to just wear a hoodie and jeans.

School was just the same as any other day, except for the splitting headache. When I saw Nicole she hugged me and told me she's sorry. 'Sorry for what?' I thought.

I saw Mikey and Frank walking up the hall with that girl. Ray's cousin I think. She stopped right when our eyes met and walked away.

"Hey Gee." Mikey said coming up to my locker.

"Hey,"

"Jesus dude what happened to your face?" Frank said attempting to touch my still semi-bruised nose.

"Nothing, I fell."

"Oh who's fist?"

I turned back to my locker.

"So Frank and I were talking about playing a little D&D tonight since there's no school, you in?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Sweet, I'm inviting another friend over, so you'll get to meet her."

"Great I guess,"

"Well we better get to class, see ya."

They walked off and I pulled the little baggie from my pocket. I counted the pills, I had seven, so I took two. I was on a cloud.

Most of the day was a blur, except leaving because the oddest thing happened. That girl that was walking with Frank and Mikey saw me at my locker and got this look on her face like she was scared.

"Hi?" I said trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

She just walked away and over to Ray who waved at me.
***

"She was scared of you?" Mikey asked pulling out the board.

"Yeah, she looked like she'd seen me kill somebody or something."

"That makes no sense,"

"She's just like everybody else in that school, they see something different and they treat me like I'm some mass murderer."

"Chill Gee, you said she never talked to you, she's probably just shy." Frank said pulling out the dice.

The doorbell rang,

"I gotta take a piss," I said getting up and walking to the bathroom.

[Eliza]

"Why the fuck is is so cold?" I said aloud.

The door swung open and Mikey stood there smiling.

"Hey,"

"I'm glad you came,"

I smiled, "I said I would didn't I?" I said walking outside.

Mikey had a really nice house, or rather his parents did. It was a little dark, but other than that it was nice. Everything was made of a really dark wood-the coffee table, the cabinet, the walls- and there was a set of flowers in the middle of table, this living room screamed Jersey.

"Mikey where's your bathroom?"

"Go downstairs, it's on the left." He said pointing to the door.

I followed his directions and went into the basement. There was a really strange smell, kind of like, old sweat. It was faint so it didn't bother me much. I could see the faint lines of furniture, a bed and a desk, but other than that the room was pretty much bare except for the floor which was covered with clothes. I saw a glow, I assumed it was the bathroom, so I went inside. It was small, but I guess it served it's purpose. I saw a razor blade on the sink, it had a white residue on it. I wondered who's room this was.

I did my business and decided to do a little more investigating.I opened the bathroom door, letting the light enter the room and looked around. I didn't find much but a desk covered in pictures. I looked at them all, they were really cool. There was one of a girl with short red hair holding guns that I thought was especially cool. This must be Mikey's brother's room, he said he was a good artist. I sat the pictures down and saw a sketchbook. I opened it up and looked at those too. They were different from the ones on the desk, for starters they were all in black and white. One in particular caught my attention. It was a boy with a pig's head, he was pretty big and had jet black hair that was split in the middle kind of like Mikey's. He was hanging himself. In one hand he clutched an empty pill bottle and in the other a bottle of booze. There were pills scattered on the floor under him next to a knocked over chair. The boy appeared in the book a lot, always killing himself or being bullied, there was one that stuck out to me. It was the little boy and he was holding a gun to his head. There was blood splattered on the wall, it spelled out 'Think Happy Thoughts,'. I closed the book quickly when I heard the door at the top of the stairs creak open.

"She probably got lost in this dungeon."

"Shut up, I'll get her." The closest voice said. Footsteps followed and I panicked.

"Hey Mikey sai-"

He stopped and stared at me. It was that boy from school. Wait-he was Mikey's brother?

"What are /you/ doing here?"

My heart was beating faster, "I uh-Mikey said I could use the bathroom, but I'm done, so I'll just go back up."

He noticed his papers is a neat pile, "Did you like them?"

"What?"

"My drawings, I keep them on the desk for Mikey when he comes down."

"Oh, um yeah, they're really good."

[Gerard]

This was almost painful to watch. She was scared out of her mind. I couldn't understand why. I had done /nothing/ to this girl and here she was looking at me like I was about to shove a knife into her chest.

I looked down, she was holding my sketchbook.

"I uh- I didn't know it was private," She said handing it to me.

She'd seen them. I never showed anyone those, those are private. I only drew them to keep myself from doing it to myself.

"Can I ask you something?" She said not looking up.

"Um, sure?"

"The little boy in the book, who is he?" She said it like he /had/ to be real.

"It's nobody, just something I like drawing."

"Why's he so sad?"

"Why do you think he's sad?"

"Well he's killing himself," She said seeming to calm down, "I would just assume he's sad."

"He's not sad, he's just...angry. He's angry at everybody and killing himself is his revenge."

"Hmm," she grabbed the book from me and flipped through it, "that's a shame, he's probably a really nice kid."

She looked up at me in a way that said she knew. She knew it was supposed to be me. She just smiled a little and handed it back.

"Sorry I didn't even ask your name," I said trying to break my probably creepy gaze.

"Eliza, you're Gerard right?"

"Yeah,"

"Mikey talked about you a lot, you're like his hero or something," She said with a light laugh.

"Would you two hurry up! You can kill her later, we wanna play," Mikey yelled down.

"We better get up there,"

"I think I'm gonna stay down here,"

"Oh," She said sounding a little disappointed, "well it was nice to meet you,"

"You too,"

She gave me a quick smile and went upstairs with Mikey and Frank.