Collectively Unconsciously Composed

I scrunched my nose, my mouth feeling dry and crackly. I ran my tongue over my lips several times, squinting to try and survey my surroundings. I was in my room, my shorts and shoes in a pile next to my bed. I saw the sun was still out, but I assumed it must be late in the afternoon. I threw my arm across my bed to discover my partner was not present. I furrowed my brow, racking my brain for what happened.

I glanced down at my hands and sighed, a frown tugging at my lips. I quietly slipped out of bed, pulling on a pair of discarded athletic shorts. I silently prayed that Harry hadn't discovered what happened, because I knew he would literally flip a shit. 

I tiptoed out of my room and down the hallway. I saw a pair of legs sticking out from the couch as my heart soared. I sighed in frustration when I saw a mess of red hair, not the brown curly hair I was hoping for. Kat must've noticed I walked in because she immediately engulfed me in her arms.

"Oh my god Scout! Are you okay? I saw what happened- it's all over the internet," Kat said quickly. 

"I'm fine," I said quietly, wiggling out of her grasp. 

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes drifting towards my hands. I offered her a small smile as she breathed a sigh of relief.

I peeked around her shoulder in an attempt to find my curly-haired boyfriend, but he was nowhere to be found. 

"Harry left," she said, answering the question that was bubbling on my lips.

"Where?" I asked, my voice straining to stay calm.

"He didn't tell me. He rushed out the door as soon as I got home," she said as I sat down on the couch. "He seemed pretty upset," she added. 

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on my knees. I had to find Harry before he did something stupid, but I was also terrified to go out again. I mulled my thoughts over for a moment before making up my mind.

"I need to find him," I said, standing up and walking to my room. 

I combed my fingers through my hair, wincing when I tugged too hard. I pulled one of Harry's hoodies out and slipped that on, not bothering to fix my makeup of or take off my athletic shorts. I was in no mood to impress the public right now. I grabbed my phone and keys before walking out into the foyer again. 

Kat was leaning against the doorframe her eyes glued to her phone. She looked very into what she was reading, her eyes widening as her fingers moved to scroll down. Her head snapped up as I stood next to her.

"What're you reading?" I piqued as she frowned.

"It's not good," she said, handing me her phone.

My eyes scanned the screen, the words Harry and angry popping out. I bit my lip as I read the short article. 

"Harry Styles Finally Lost It?"

"The world famous boy band member Harry Styles has recently been seen shouting obscenities at fans and paparazzi outside of an apartment building in Chicago. It had been reported earlier that Scout, Harry's girlfriend of 3 months, was violently pushed to the ground, sustaining various injuries. It appears that the fans lashed out at Scout, possibly in hopes of ending their relationship? However, Harry appears to have taken matters into his own hands, shouting and throwing punches at the paparazzi. Harry disappeared from the scene shortly after, retreating to the hotel room of friend and band member Zayn Malik. The hotel is currently surrounded by fans and paparazzi. An update will be posted shortly."

I practically threw Kat's phone at her before running out the door. The ride down to the lobby was agonizingly slow; I tapped my foot the entire time. I was relieved to see most of the fans and paparazzi had cleared out, probably racing to Zayn's hotel.

I pulled the hoodie around my before taking a deep breath and walking outside. I knew Zayn's hotel was awhile away, so I decided to hail a cab. I whistled loudly, practically every cab on the street slamming to a stop. I hopped in the closest one, yelping directions at the driver. I was flung to the side of the cab as the driver sped down Rush Street.

We screeched to a halt, a few onlookers raising their heads at the noise. I threw two twenties at the driver before jumping out of the car and running to the sidewalk.

There was a sizeable crowd outside the hotel. I bit my lip, knowing I had no choice but to push through the crowd. It was Harry I was going to see, nothing would stop me.

I took a deep breath as I began to make my way through the crowd. No one noticed me at first as I pushed and mumbled apologies.

"Hey isn't that Scout?" A shrill voice yelled.

Heads snapped around as I ducked low and scrambled to the front doors.

"There she is!" Another voice called as camera flashes began to go off.

I ducked into the hotel, breathing a sigh of relief when secuirty began to push the crowd back. I pushed my bangs out of my face before walking to the front desk.

"Hello," I greeted the woman at the front desk, trying to keep my voice even. "What room is Zayn Malik staying in?"

"Yeah right, haven't heard that one before," she snorted. I raised an eyebrow as she began to type on her computer.

"I'm Harry's girlfriend," I said as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure," she chuckled.

I huffed, snatching my belongings off the counter and walking over to a chair.

"Scout?" I heard someone call. My head snapped up to see Zayn coming off the lift. He ran over to me, engulfing me in his arms in a protective manner. "Holy shit," he mumbled into my hair.

He held me out at arms length, taking in my appearance. A frown tugged at his lips when he noticed my bandaged hands.

"I'm fine," I said quietly. "Where's Harry?"

"He's upstairs. What happened to you?" He asked, taking my arm and leading me back to the lift.

I peeked around my shoulder at the woman working the front desk. Her jaw was to the ground as I smiled at her before stepping into the lift.

"Long story short I am stupid and got myself hurt," I mumbled, not really wanting to elaborate.

Zayn must've noticed as he just nodded and leaned against the wall. I hummed, my foot tapping in anticipation. Zayn chuckled as I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Geez Scout," he laughed, holding his hands up in defense.

I rolled my eyes as the lift came to a stop. I followed Zayn out, ushering him to hurry up as he walked down the hallway. Perrie opened the door, her face breaking into a smile as she enveloped me in her arms. I winced when she squeezed too tight, her eyes widening.

"It's okay," I reassured her, smiling. "Now where is-"

"Scout?"

I peeked over Perrie's shoulder to see a very disheveled Harry. I slid past Perrie and threw myself at him, pressing my lips all over his face. I saw Zayn and Perrie laughing before disappearing into a seperate room.

"What-the-hell-Harry-" I said in between kisses.

He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tightly almost as if he were afraid I would dissolve into the air. I clung to him, offering what comfort I could give. I wriggled out of his grasp, him groaning in response. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the window.

I looked down to see a sea of people, all hoping to catch a glimpse of the recent article. My mind drifted back to what the article said about Harry's violent outburst. Suddenly I was angry; angry at how Harry reacted ans angry that I was the cause.

"So many people," Harry murmured, coming to stand next to me.

"And who's fault is that?" I snapped. I looked over at Harry, his expression clearly annoyed.

"Not mine," he retorted, going back to look out the window.

"You know bloody well it's your fault," I said, my voice rising. Harry moved so he was in front of me, his body tense and towering over me.

"I'm not the one who got us into the situation! You thought you were so brilliant going out alone and this is what happens!" Harry shouted. He was clenching and un-clenching his fists, his anger clear.

"You blew things way out of proportion! You acted like a child, beating those people outside!" I yelled back.

"Don't pin this on me," he seethed.

"Oh right of course because you can't take any blame. Fucking ridiculous," I muttered, turning to walk away.

"I can't take any blame? That's odd seeming you were raped and didn't think it was your fault. Open your eyes Scout, it was all your fault!" Harry screamed. I stopped instantly, my eyes meeting Harry's.

I could see he regretted what he said, pain and guilt slowly covering his face. I took two large strides and whipped my hand across his face, a smacking sound emitting throughout the entire hotel room.

Harry clutched his face in surprise as bit my lip. I felt tears threatening to spill over my eyes as I ran. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it before sinking to the ground.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed into my hands, hoping my palms would block some of the sound. I gasped and choked, sobs racking my body as I rocked back amd forth.

"Scout!" Harry pleaded, pounding on the door. I cried harder, putting my hands over my ears to block out the sound of his voice.

"Leave me alone!" I cried, hitting the door with my fist. I shrieked in pain, my bandages seeping with red at the newly split knuckle.

I saw stars as I gasped, the pain was blinding. I stopped crying and tried to breathe normally, ignoring Harry's cries on the other side of the door. I focused on the tiles scattered around the floor, counting the cracks and dips.

Once the stars disappeared and I began to breathe normally, I looked back down at my hand. The bandage was tattered and red, tiny droplets spattering the white linen. I bit my lip as I stood up and carefully unwrapped my bandage.

I moaned in relief when I ran the injured hand under cold water. I ran it under for a while longer, enjoying the feeling of the numbingly cold water. I noticed Harry had stopped knocking and calling my name through the door. I shut the tap off, and walked over to the door. I put my ear up to it but heard nothing.

I wiped my cheeks with my thumbs, erasing spilled tears. I quietly opened the door, poking my head out to see if Harry was around. Sure enough, the curly headed boy walked down the hallway that moment, his face sporting a new bruise. I gasped aloud when I saw his bloody knuckles, which he didn't seem to notice.

He looked up at the noise I made and his face nearly broke my heart. He had red rings around his eyes, his beautiful lips pulled into a sad frown. He stayed where he was, his eyes never leaving mine.

I blushed, quickly clutching my cheeks as the heat receded from my face. He cautiously took a step toward me, probably to make sure I wouldn't run away. He slowly made his way over to me, hesitant to reach out and touch me when he was standing in front of me.

Part of me was furious and extremely hurt at what Harry had said and done. What he did was childish, acting out of anger and frustration. I knew there were thousands of more mature ways to handle the situation, but he avoided the high road. I was also hurt about him saying the sexual abuse was my fault. Deep down I knew he didn't mean it; he tended to say whatever was on his mind when he was angry, the filter disappearing.

The other part felt safe, accompanied by a tingly warm sensation. Harry had lashed out to protect me, not something many people did. To put himself in harm's way was ridiculous, but brave.

I carefully picked up his hand, pressing my lips to the scratched up knuckles. I pressed soft kisses around his hand and wrist, trailing up to his collar bone. I slowly ran my fingers over his bruised cheek, a frown tugging at my lips when he winced.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered as I continued to caress his cheek. "I'm sorry I lashed out and I'm sorry I said what I did."

I didn't reply, but instead pressed my lips lightly to his, letting him know that it was okay.

"I'm sorry too," I said quietly after disconnecting our lips.

"I wanted to keep you safe," he mumbled. "I wanted to keep you safe because I love you and don't want anything to happen to you."

"You can't protect me from everything Harry," I said quietly. He sighed, cupping my face in his hands. His fingers slowly trailed up my jaw, tucking stray pieces of hair away. He lightly pressed his lips to my eyelids and my nose before speaking.

"I can try," he murmurred. "Move in with me and I will keep you safe."