Iris.

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't wanna go home right now.

Cordell Doemling was sat on his bed, his eyes filling with unwanted tears, the door being slammed the only sound in his head. He’d had another argument with his best friend, and lover, Mason Verger, over countless and unimportant things that had been building for a while now. He heaved a sigh, a hand moving up to his face so his fingers could slowly wipe the tears away, and he tasted the salt of them on his lips.

He scrunched his nose up in mild discomfort, swinging his legs over the side of the bed before he stood up; wanting to find Mason, and fast, so they could talk through their problems. He slipped past the door, his heart pounding against his chest. He didn’t do well with confrontation, especially when it was with the man that he loved more than absolutely anything in the world.

He started to search then, quickly poking his head around each door that was the entrance to each room that made up the Verger estate, and sighed when he didn’t clap eyes on his lover that drove him crazy, both in various good and bad ways. His heart was still hammering against his rib cage, reminding him of a bird trying to escape from a gilded cage and of his own situation within their relationship.

Sometimes, when things were like how they were at the present moment, he just wanted to escape. He felt like he hurt Mason, not meaning to but doing it nonetheless, and he felt powerless to stop it. Sure, he’d been having one-on-one sessions with Dr Lecter about how he felt useless and like he wasn’t worth the life that was breathed into him, but it wasn’t very effective yet, he still felt the struggle to carry on some days.

But, and this was the thought he always drew from the darkest recesses of his mind and in times of the constant internal struggle he battled with, there was also the times when things were undeniably good. A smile flickered, very briefly, on his lips as he thought about all of the happy times they’d shared. It was these thoughts that made him want to stay, with Mason and in the Verger estate, forever, and he didn’t want to ever escape.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life.
When sooner or later it's over,
I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

Mason Verger stood out in the garden, the stables of the Verger estate in his peripheral vision, and he could just about see his sister, Margot, mucking them out. Her hair was braided, like a halo around her head, keeping it out of her eyes so she could clean the stables out without any trouble. Mason’s eyes flickered once towards his sister properly before he looked ahead of him, and they narrowed as he thought back to the argument he’d had ten minutes prior with his Cordy.

He let out a soft sigh; these parts of relationships were never fun for him. He hated arguing, especially with someone he cared for, and he cared for Cordell Doemling more than he thought he would ever care for another person in his life. Especially after all of the shit-hitting-the-fan experiences that had thwarted him ever since he was younger; incestuous activities with his sibling, and let’s not forget all of that nasty business with their father.

He rubbed a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose to stop the frustrated growl from passing his lips. He started to slowly count to ten, his tongue grazing over his bottom lip as he tried to think of nothing but good thoughts about his lover. The argument kept floating in his mind, though, like a physical embodiment of a swarm of bees and wasps, the way it kept on at him. He just wanted to let go, and with a shake of his head, he felt the frustration boil up in him and this was only stalled by the thought of Cordell and just everything about the other man.

Mason didn’t understand how the argument had even cropped up in the first place, they were only talking about their future plans and it had somehow turned into a scream fest, how Mason was so unfaithful and how it was all Cordell’s fault, that he wasn’t enough for Mason, clearly and Mason cringed as he remembered the hurt flashing in his lover’s eyes. He’d tried to change Cordy’s mind, that it wasn’t his fault, and that he couldn’t help his promiscuity. But Cordell wasn’t having any of it. He still felt the slap across his face, even now, and he held up a hand to his cheek, his lower lip jutting out in a pout.

He didn’t want Cordell to feel like it was his own fault every time they had a spat, he just didn’t get it. Maybe he was just stupid? He didn’t understand that, with something that he did himself, how and why Cordell blamed himself. It wasn’t Cordy’s fault, Mason spoke aloud without realizing, it’s mine. Please, I’m sorry, stay, Cordy. He felt his chest constrict, right about where his darkened and cracked heart would be beating, for both him and his lover, and his fingers brushed across his chest. He could’ve sworn that his heart beat slower and he realized in that second he’d been holding his breath for a long moment, slowly exhaling as the man that was his whole world stood in front of him, his face broken and defeated.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

Cordell was standing just a few inches before Mason, his face betraying his current emotional state; a pure and un-hidden look of defeat, and Mason moved forward so quickly that Cordell had only blinked before Mason wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him against him, their chests as close against the other as they could be, their heartbeats colliding and seemingly as one.

"I'm sorry, Mase, it's all my fau-" Cordell began, but was quickly cut off by lips against his own, the sensation of lips becoming molded as one enough to stop the doctor from trying to continue his game of self blame.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.

Mason felt the tears on his face, not his own, but Cordell's, and he pulled back only to wipe them away with a whisper of comforting words that he hoped would calm his love down, enough to end the tears that were rolling over his flushed cheeks.

"Hush, Cordy, it's not your fault." Mason's voice was soft, utterly tame, as he looked into the eyes of the man he very much so adored.

"But-"

"Hush. Cordell. Stop blaming yourself, it was my fault. I shouldn't of shouted and slammed the door. I was just mad... At myself. For always seeming to hurt you, or always screwing up what we have. I really hate myself for it sometimes. I just... I just don't want to lose you, Cordy. I couldn't bear that." Mason frowned, more at himself for his confession than anything else, and he brought Cordell's hands up with his own, his lips brushing the other man's knuckles lightly.

Cordell's cheeks were red as he felt his lover's lips brush against his knuckles lightly and he couldn't help but to smile softly at the action, something that was quite rare and special, seeing as it was Mason who was the one doing it.

"I can't help it sometimes, Mase, I just feel like I'm not enough for you sometimes..." Cordell trailed off, feeling uneasy. It was probably his biggest fear, not being enough for the only person he wanted to please and fulfill.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

Mason shook his head quickly, pecking Cordell's lips with an easy smile, "then you really don't realize what you mean to me, do you?"

"...No?"

Mason took Cordell's hand in his own and led him back inside, up the stairs, and back to where the fight had taken place, their bedroom. He motioned for Cordell to sit, and as the other did as he was told, Mason stood before him.

"Do you know why I'm with you, Cordy?" Mason asked, a smile inching at his lips, dying to spread, excitement in the man's eyes.

"Because..." Cordell looked up at him then, curious. "Tell me, Mason."

"It's beca~use," Mason drew out the word for longer than was necessary, a grin on his lips. "I love you, Cordy, more than anyone and anything. Nobody else understands me quite the way you do, and one day, maybe, if you'd like, we could even... Plan a future together."

Mason lent forward, his fingers running through Cordell's hair as he hummed softly, his other hand moving to tilt his lover's face up so he could look into those beautiful eyes of the man he couldn't get enough of, and not just in the sense of sexual satisfaction, either, it was everything. The man completed him in a way nobody else could even touch on.

"I would like that... Even marriage?" Cordell spoke softly, the shyness in his tone making Mason slightly aroused, and he bit into his lower lip.

"Even marriage." He nodded confidently, his hand now cupping the other's cheek. "I'll love you forever, Cordy, you know that, right?"

"I do now, Mase, and I love you too, I will for as long as I live." Cordell smiled, again looking quite shy, and it caused a soft growl to rise up in Mason's throat. Cordell giggled softly, knowing that his shy quirk was causing the possessiveness in his lover to ignite.

Mason smirked, tugging lightly on the tufts of hair between his fingers, enjoying the soft squeak that passed Cordell's lips which washed over him like a pleasant ocean breeze... It refreshed him, and turned him on to no end. He pushed Cordell down, straddling his hips, a salacious grin on his pleased face as he saw Cordell exhale slowly as he was pinned. His eyes widened a bit, Mason's lips crashing onto his with eager want and anticipation, his fingers already working their way down to the other man's belt, flicking it open expertly, precise.

Cordell squirmed to get into a better position, feeling Mason's hips grind down against his own, and his breath exhaled past his lips in a puff of hot air, his own hands resting on Mason's chest, his nails lightly scraping down and then up, under the shirt that hid the dom's torso, and as nails met, scratched, worked at the flesh, they both felt their undoing.

It was slow, needy, passionate, made more explosive by the emotions running high through them both, and they were exposed to each other, their weaknesses melting away, and it only became strength; strength that would keep on building as they became one, the bitten and marred flesh of both bodies moulding perfectly as they found each other, stayed with each other, and in that instant, the high ridden off, a warm embrace that was a tangle of limbs and just comfort that they both seeked, and found, in each other, and they knew, after this, they would, could never be parted.

I just want you to know who I am,
I just want you to know who I am,
I just want you to know who I am.