Tampon
She's not my girlfriend
Out all of all of the weird, awkward things that Bruce Wayne had to do, this had to take the cake. This had to be most awkward thing he had ever had to do in the span of his life.
Tampon shopping.
He hated Diana right now.
Why couldn’t she just get it herself? Bruce cursed in his head as he attempted to locate the pad/tampon aisle, Or just asked Mari, Dora, Zatanna, or even Courtney? Or any one of the other women in the Justice League? What about her friends? Why me?
Bruce wondered around lost for nearly ten minutes until he swore he spotted the pad/tampon aisle – only until he realized that he had found himself in the hair coloring product aisle.
What the vigilante really couldn’t figure out was why this was so difficult. He could out-wit villains like the Riddler and the Joker, but he couldn’t find the damn pad/tampon aisle.
From the corner of his keen eye, he spotted a mother. She looked to be about in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. A giggling baby girl, at least that’s what she looked like, sat in the front of the cart, shaking a small, stuffed animal in a desperate attempt to get her mother’s attention.
“Um, excuse me,” Bruce felt so stupid for having to ask, but he didn’t want to be at the store all night. The mother perked her head away from the hair-care products, her tired brown eyes stared at Bruce, partly drooling (she had enough self-control to not drool like her infant), and partly curious, “Can you tell me where the, um…”
“You’re looking for the tampons, aren’t you?” she guessed with a heavy sigh. Figures,, she thought, He’s taken. Bruce nodded his head as she outstretched her arm away from the cart and towards the wall behind them, “Straight back, and to your left.”
“Oh… thanks,” Bruce briskly headed in the direction she pointed.
I’m an idiot! he angrily thought to himself.
He came to a halt in front of the different colored packages. Most were green, put some were blue and purple. Some came in boxes, but those were closer towards the top of the shelve.
Though he knew that the words printed on every bag or box were English, he didn’t understand a word of it. Was there supposed to be a difference between a heavy and light? The thought made him cringe.
He heard the sound of the baby speaking gibberish before he heard the cart wheeled closer towards him.
“Here,” the woman from before wedged herself between Bruce and the shelf and pulled down a box of tampons, “This should work…”
Bruce took the box, though he wasn’t keen on the idea. He suddenly wished he had grabbed a basket or a cart.
“Thanks,” he told her, “This… should do.”
“No problem,” she warmly smiled, “Your girlfriend is lucky.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bruce tried not to scowl, he really did, but it was of no use.
“Oh, sorry,” the woman’s ivory face turned a light shade of pink as she turned to leave.
“Why does everyone assume we’re dating?” Bruce lowly cursed to himself as he walked towards the cash register, “We’re not dating…”
He could hear the voices of his fellow superhero friends contradicting him, telling him that he was wrong. But Bruce, as per usual, paid no attention to them. He didn’t think of Diana that way.
Or did he?
Tampon shopping.
He hated Diana right now.
Why couldn’t she just get it herself? Bruce cursed in his head as he attempted to locate the pad/tampon aisle, Or just asked Mari, Dora, Zatanna, or even Courtney? Or any one of the other women in the Justice League? What about her friends? Why me?
Bruce wondered around lost for nearly ten minutes until he swore he spotted the pad/tampon aisle – only until he realized that he had found himself in the hair coloring product aisle.
What the vigilante really couldn’t figure out was why this was so difficult. He could out-wit villains like the Riddler and the Joker, but he couldn’t find the damn pad/tampon aisle.
From the corner of his keen eye, he spotted a mother. She looked to be about in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. A giggling baby girl, at least that’s what she looked like, sat in the front of the cart, shaking a small, stuffed animal in a desperate attempt to get her mother’s attention.
“Um, excuse me,” Bruce felt so stupid for having to ask, but he didn’t want to be at the store all night. The mother perked her head away from the hair-care products, her tired brown eyes stared at Bruce, partly drooling (she had enough self-control to not drool like her infant), and partly curious, “Can you tell me where the, um…”
“You’re looking for the tampons, aren’t you?” she guessed with a heavy sigh. Figures,, she thought, He’s taken. Bruce nodded his head as she outstretched her arm away from the cart and towards the wall behind them, “Straight back, and to your left.”
“Oh… thanks,” Bruce briskly headed in the direction she pointed.
I’m an idiot! he angrily thought to himself.
He came to a halt in front of the different colored packages. Most were green, put some were blue and purple. Some came in boxes, but those were closer towards the top of the shelve.
Though he knew that the words printed on every bag or box were English, he didn’t understand a word of it. Was there supposed to be a difference between a heavy and light? The thought made him cringe.
He heard the sound of the baby speaking gibberish before he heard the cart wheeled closer towards him.
“Here,” the woman from before wedged herself between Bruce and the shelf and pulled down a box of tampons, “This should work…”
Bruce took the box, though he wasn’t keen on the idea. He suddenly wished he had grabbed a basket or a cart.
“Thanks,” he told her, “This… should do.”
“No problem,” she warmly smiled, “Your girlfriend is lucky.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bruce tried not to scowl, he really did, but it was of no use.
“Oh, sorry,” the woman’s ivory face turned a light shade of pink as she turned to leave.
“Why does everyone assume we’re dating?” Bruce lowly cursed to himself as he walked towards the cash register, “We’re not dating…”
He could hear the voices of his fellow superhero friends contradicting him, telling him that he was wrong. But Bruce, as per usual, paid no attention to them. He didn’t think of Diana that way.
Or did he?
♠ ♠ ♠
I'm not going to lie, I ship Batman and Wonder Woman... but mostly because I watched Justice League. I'm not ashamed.I feel like if I don't say this, someone is going to ask or point it out. The colors in the layout, the blue, green, and purple, are from the picture.