My Immortal

“What the bloody hell?! Let me go you freak!” I held Draco’s hand, our pale hands with black nail polish matching perfectly. I don’t know how his nails ended up painted and how he survived the blizzard, but whatever. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish, which I painted in the mean time while walking upstairs into my room. We didn’t get far though, because the bastard Draco was a guy and a guy couldn’t get into a girls dormitory. It was his fault though. In the end we just snogged in the middle of the stairs while falling down them. He screamed the entire time and I was sure to Satan that it was because of his love for me.

I tore off his shirt. “Hey! That shirt didn’t grow on a tree!” He shouted, trying to push me off him. He didn’t succeed though seeing as were buried under a pile of furniture after we barrel rolled into the common room like a bowling ball, rolling over people and squashing their skulls. Their screams were beautiful as we rolled them over to death. How we ended up under a couch? Magic.

We were once again butt ass naked, when I suddenly noticed something on his arm. On his arm, in ink letters written………DO HOMEWORK!

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the pile of furniture, which just appeared out of nowhere since the Slytherin common room didn’t have that much chairs, and falcon punching a seventh year girl out of the window. She was in my way so it was her fault.

“What the hell is your problem?!” Draco shouted, still buried under the furniture.

“You fuckin idiot!” I screamed, grabbing him by his neck and pulling him out of the mountain, which makes basically no sense. How did a mountain get into the common room? Magic and because I am Ebony Dark-

“The fuck did I do now?!” He screamed.

“You cheated on me with Vampire!” I screamed, throwing him out of the window. “You probably have AID’s anyway!” I screamed behind his drowning figure and flipped him off.

Water started to flow out of the window from the lake and it went up to my neck. Draco swam into the common room and used magic to repair the windows.

“We never were together! You just kept raping and killing me!” I ignored him and stomped out, which was difficult seeing as there was water everywhere, and stomped and stomped until I couldn’t stomp anymore. Then I was swimming through the corridors because there was water everywhere. I got to Vampire’s classroom which was Potions. Water flowed into the classroom, drowning everyone but Snape, Harry, Hermione and Diablo (dats Ron!!!) for some reasons.

“Vampire Potter! You motherfucker!” I yelled, once the water magically flew out of the window, along with the twenty new corpses.

“It’s Harry.” Vampire pointed out.

Draco rolled into the room, his ass showing to everyone who was still alive. “Run!” He yelled. “Run while you still can!”

“What is it you desire, you ridiculous immortal Mary Sue?!” A girl apparently survived the drowning. I pulled out a gun and shot her in the head, which was completely unnecessary, but what the hell.

“My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!” I shouted a blizzard coming into the classroom and sweeping Snape off his feet. He screamed while he was thrown out of the window. What a pussy. He could at least yell manly.

“I can’t believe you cheated n me with Draco!” I shouted at him.

“We never went out in the first place and I was never with Malfoy!” He exclaimed terrified.

“That’s what I also told her! She just started raping me out of sudden!” Draco cried out.

“Yeah fuckin right!” I screamed. “Fuck off, you bastard!” I kicked Draco out of the window while screaming “THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!!!”, which made no sense whatsoever since he was by the door and the windows were on the other side of the room. My boot stuck in his ass and I got depressed and ran out into…..THE FORBIDDEN FOREST where I did it for the first time with Draco. Well, it was his corpse, but it’s almost the exact same thing.