Status: Completed

Shake Me Awake

Chapter 6

I cannot believe that Kent lives right next door to me. Who would have thought? I mean it’s like something out of a movie. Out of one of the 400 plus movies I’ve seen. No, stop, in the movies it’s always a relationship that follows this. You do not need a relationship right now. You need to focus on your life; alone, for the time being. We do not want a replay of the last relationship you were in, now do we? That’s right. Just keep moving forward, Spencer. Not back.

These thoughts play through my mind as I’m picking up things around the house, listening to some Linkin Park, and trying to decide what to get for dinner. Walking around the house in only a two sizes too big t-shirt and PJ pants is nice. I really missed the comforts of my own home.

My thoughts continue to wonder as I hear my phone’s text tone start to sound. I bounce across the apartment hoping that it’s my parents letting me know they arrived in Miami alright, but am disappointed when I see a blocked number light up on my screen.

I unlock my smart phone to read the text.

“You can’t always get what you want.”

This guy again?

The driver that hit me on that breezy night a month ago has been sending me texts every few weeks from a blocked number. Well, I just assume that it’s him. The way the texts read I can’t think of anyone else it could be.

He never mentions who he is, but he always tries to make his texts seem clever, or threatening. And yes, there have been a few threats, even if they were pretty minor.

I see no reason to tell my father about this as I don’t want to worry him. I know for a fact that if he knows this guy has been contacting me, then he will bring out all of the dogs to find this guy.

Other than me, no one has heard from this guy since he checked himself out of the hospital. Dad has several of his officers working to find him, but so far no such luck.

Thinking back on some of his texts, this guy really has a way to make a shiver crawl up my spine when he’s really trying to get a rouse from me.

I have not responded to him. It will just fuel the fire that keeps him going, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to.

I decided after about the fourth or so text from this guy that I was not going to let him get to me. I know that he would never have the guts to go through with any of the sublet threats he’s made.

So, no need to tell dad about him, right? Right?...

As I go to set my phone down another text appears underneath the previous one.

“Daddy’s little girl needs to keep daddy in his own business.”

A knock at the door removes me from my thoughts. I set my phone down and decide not to worry about it. Without thinking about my apparel, I stride over to the door and swing it open as “Hello!” falls from my mouth before seeing the face outside my door step. I blink my eyes a few times to make sure they aren’t lying to me again. Kent.

“Hey, Spencer, I…I just wanted to come back and ask how you were doing. With all the excitement this morning I realized I never asked how you were feeling.” Oh those eyes. He gives a sweet smile as his words tumble out of his mouth not so easily. He seems nervous. Well, say something, Spence!

“I’m doing a lot better. The new cast they gave me is much easier to work with.” We both go silent for a moment, not sure what to say.

He’s playing with his hands and is looking at the ground when he finally speaks up. “And I wanted to explain why I ran out on you in the hospital; if that’s all right.” His eyes shoot up to mine as he waits for my response.

“Of course,” I say as I step aside so that he can come in. I motion to the couch once we enter the living room and offer him a drink. He asks for a beer and I gladly bring us each one. I sit across him on the love seat waiting for him to start.

He sips from his beer before starting. His voice is lower than usual, with no real emotion behind it. “First off, let me apologize for the abrupt exit I made.” He pauses a moment. Since we sat down he has not made eye contact with me.

Something is wrong.

“I did not intend to leave like that without saying anything, but my chief called, and…” He’s restless in his seat for a moment before he sets his drink down on the end table. He leans forward and places his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees. I lean forward in my seat trying to hear what he has to say. I hear him let out a deep sigh before starting again. “My…my older brother was killed in a fire that day. The house they were called to was a foster home and wasn’t in great condition before the fire started.”

He pauses to gather his thoughts, and I take the opportunity to go sit to his right on the couch beside him, with my good hand resting on his back. I don’t say anything; I just want him to know that he can continue.

His voice stays low and I can tell that it’s getting shaky. “Chief told him not to go back in, but Dean said he thought he heard a kid crying from inside. Turns out he was right. The bastard was right. He comes out limping, carrying a little girl.” He turns his head and looks at me. His eyes are rimmed with tears readying themselves to fall upon command. His last sentence comes only as a whisper. “He collapsed just after he set her down and never woke up.”

I don’t know what to say. By this point I too am on the verge of silent tears. I remove my hand from his back and place it in his right hand, still with connected eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kent. I truly am.” I’m barely able to get it out as a whisper.

Shakily he continues, “Doc said it was a combination of things that caused…” He trails off as he looks away from my gaze and back to the floor. “His leg was broken from a wall that had fallen on him on his way back in, and he had given the little girl his air mask when he found her, so…”

I can tell he’s not going to be able to finish and we grow silent now. He takes his left hand and places it a top of my left hand, still with his right hand beneath it.

“I feel so awful that I didn’t know. Why did Dad not say anything?” I mumble under my breath.

The question is not directed towards him, per say, but he responds; his voice stronger now. “Because I asked him not to when we were in the hall at the hospital. I knew you sent him out there to check on me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of burdening you with my tragedy at a time like that. You needed to focus on recuperating, not feeling sorry for me.” He pauses and at the same time releases his grasp on my hand. “Plus we had just met. It’s not like we had known each other for a long time.” I know he means well, but his words strike me harder than I would have thought. “I just threw myself into the job; worked day in, and day out. That’s why I never visited. I know I should have at least called or something, but I just knew that you wouldn’t want to talk to me after I left like that.” By now he’s staring at the wall and rubbing the back of his neck. Nervous habit, I guess?

“Kent, it wouldn’t have been a burden. I would have been there for you; if you’d just let me.” I take back hold of his hand and he returns his eyes to mine. “You had every right to leave. You didn’t owe me anything. You still don’t.” I pause for a good moment, trying to pull my thoughts together. “What can I do, Kent? What do you need?” He raises his gaze back to my eyes but doesn’t say anything right away. What do I do? He just shakes his head.

After a brief moment he responds with a sigh, “Will you just sit with me? Just for a minute, please?” His eyes are pleading with me to comply. “For the past month all I’ve heard is people saying how sorry they are and telling me stories of them and Dean. I just need to sit in silence with someone; I just need to be with a friend.”

I barely am able to control the tears that have welled in my eyes as he says this. With our hands still connected I lean back on the couch. He looks back at me for just a moment before he leans back as well. Even though neither of us is saying anything, the silence is anything but awkward. After a few moments I gently lay my head on his shoulder and he returns the gesture with laying his head a top of mine.

I think about what he’s told me and how I can be the friend he needs right now. I don’t know what it is about this guy that has me trusting him and feeling so close to him when I hardly know him. It’s like it doesn’t even matter that we’ve only ever spoken to each other a few times. Like we have this silent understanding of each other and we don’t feel the need to explain our entire lives to the other before we can truly connect. It’s like when God made us he knew we would be friends, and he knew what each of us would need from the other.

I decide at this moment that I want to be the friend he needs. I want to make myself leave my comfort zone and go after what I want. And what I want is for Kent Hayes to be in my life.

***

I wake to a gently moving Kent and a feeling of warmth all around me. As I flutter my eyes open I see that he has repositioned himself so that his right arm is now around my shoulder with my head against his chest, but his left hand is till connected to mine. And I now have a blanket gently laying over me. The feeling is comfortable and I am content.

Wait! Wake up, Spence. What are you doing?

I quickly rise from the comfortable position and stand in front of the couch facing the opposite of Kent. What were you thinking? I slowly turn around; my voice is low when I finally speak. “How long was I out?” I have yet to meet his eyes.

“Just forty-five minutes, or so,” he replies nonchalantly. After he finishes I muster the courage to raise my eyes. The feeling behind his gaze is curious, but amused at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” I softly mumble. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Guess I just wore myself out today. And you just sat here the whole time? You could have left, I mean, you didn’t have to stay.”

“You looked too peaceful to wake. And it was nice. ” A smile curls at the corners of his lips and his eyes are wide and bright. Geez, man, can you not do that with your eyes, please? They are killing me. He rises from the couch and takes a step towards me. He must be six feet tall, he like completely towers over me. “Spencer, you okay?”

This interrupts my thoughts about how tall he is and brings me back to reality. “What? Oh, yeah, fine.” I study him for a moment and can tell that he doesn’t buy my ‘just fine’ response. I huff and continue, “I don’t…. I just don’t. I know you needed a friend to sit with and that’s fine, but I shouldn’t have fallen asleep on you like that.”

The look on his face is puzzled, almost hurt like, but his voice is soft. “Spencer, you obviously felt comfortable enough to fall asleep. It’s no big deal. I guess I’m not the only one who needed a friend.” He ends with a small, uncertain smile on his face. His words are oddly comforting.

How did this whole thing end up with him comforting ME, when he came to MY place to vent?”

“Look,” he continues with a slightly stronger tone of voice, “I like you. You have a great personality, you’re beautiful but you don’t know it, you make me laugh, and I enjoy spending time with you. I haven’t felt this comfortable with anyone in such a short amount of time before.” He pauses and steps closer to me. We are merely inches apart, and he takes hold of my good hand. Where is this going? Oh, no. No, way. We cannot ruin what small, but great thing this could be by doing…that. “I need someone like you in my life. I need a friend I can laugh with and have fun with, but at the same time, I need someone I can trust; someone I can come to. And I’m not sure why, but I already know you can be that person.”

Kent say what?! Did he just say he wants to be friends? There is no way this guy is real. How could he have known that I wanted to be friends too?

After he finishes he looks at me for just a moment before engulfing me into the warmest, safest hug I think I have ever felt. We hold onto each other, as if one of us is about to leave forever. After what feels like hours, I finally release the hug and stare up at his beautiful eyes. I don’t know how to react to his words, and I’m sure my face displays that.

“Say something, Spencer.” His eyes search mine, but I have nothing to give him at this moment. He recognizes this and begins to back away. The look on this face hurt and disappointed.

Say something, Spence. What are you doing? This guy wants to be your friend. That’s what you wanted wasn’t it? Stop him.

The fact is that I do want to be his friend; I just did not think he wanted the same thing. I thought that as soon as I said ‘friend’ he would run for the hills.

I take a deep breath before I speak. “Kent, that’s exactly what I need too.” My words stop him in his tracks and a sigh of relief releases from his mouth. He walks back over and embraces me into the same warmth as before. I could get use to this.

“Good,” he says as we release from the hug. “I’m starving, how about some ice cream?”