Anti Blue Skies

“I’m not getting any younger over here, Lydia. Lay a damn card.” My dad stated, leaning back in his seat and scratching the dark scruff by his chin.

Currently, I was sitting at the kitchen table playing Apples to Apples with my dad and sisters. I squinted my eyes down at the seven red cards in my palms, unable to make a decision. I had terrible cards, none of them related to the word ‘Absurd’. As Leslie let out an exaggerated sigh, I made a quick decision and plucked a card from my deck before placing it face down in front of my dad.

When Leslie was in town visiting, dad always made fish and chips and forced us down at the table to play board games. Though I loved that we managed to stay a close family with me and Leslie away, I couldn’t win a game to save my life. I tried everything. Cheating, lying, pretending I had to use the toilet just so I could sneak a peek at someone’s cards on the way out. Nothing ever worked for me, my luck was basically nonexistent.

“Atomic bombs, a bad haircut,” dad read the cards off one by one while throwing them on the table. “... and baked beans.”

Every ounce of hope I had, which wasn’t very much, vanished in an instant.

“Baked beans?” Leslie cried out, laughing at me. “You really thought you’d win with baked beans?”

I rolled my eyes. By now I was used to being teased and ridiculed. I was an easy target because I didn’t care if I was the center of their jokes. “Why do you assume that was my card?”

“Well, it’s surely not mine and even Lucy isn’t that daft.” She clarified while wrapping an arm around Lucy’s shoulders, pulling her into a tight side hug despite Lucy’s efforts to shove her off.

“Girls,” dad groaned, cocking an eyebrow over the top of his reading glasses. When the three of us shut our mouths, he surveyed his options and mused a low hum. “I gotta go with atomic bombs.”

“Yes!” Lucy yelled, throwing her hands into the air.

“What?” Leslie gasped. “Haven’t you ever had a bad haircut before, dad? It can literally feel like the end of the world.”

Dad rolled his eyes and I noticed the corners of his mouth turning upward as he looked at me. I gave him a light smile before opening my mouth to my stunned older sister. “I cut his hair, Les. You and I both know I’m quite the professional.”

She thought for a moment before sulking back in her seat, crossing her arms over her stomach. Lucy giggled while she collected her winnings. She usually won. I think dad cheated when it came to her because she was the baby, so it made sense. Or maybe they just had some weird father-daughter telepathy I was unaware of.

I beamed a smile when she waved all of her green cards in Leslie’s face, testing out her bragging rights. It warmed my heart to know we were the cause of it, because although I knew family would be the reason she’d overcome her struggles, she could start believing it as well. But the memory of those cuts on the undersides of her frail little wrists were etched into my brain, and the fear that they could reappear at any moment would haunt me forever.

“Now who’s up for a round of Chutes and Ladders?” Dad joked, pointing an eye towards Leslie as he got up to pour himself another cup of coffee. It was nearly five in the afternoon, but he sure did like his coffee.

“Or not?” Leslie remarked. “That game is the spawn of Satan. Y’know, I still have nightmares about sliding down those bloody chutes into a tank full of sharks.”

Dad chuckled deeply, “You never could win at that game. I would even try losing on purpose, but you had absolute shit luck.”

“Worse than mine?” I asked while cleaning the cards off the table and placing them back in the box. I slid the cover on before pushing the game over to the opposite end of the table.

Dad licked his lips after taking a slow sip of coffee. “Not quite. I don’t think anyone has it worse than you.”

Leslie and Lucy laughed and I opened my mouth to protest, but decided to only shrug and nod in agreement instead. It was true after all.

“Can we get ice cream now?” Lucy whined.

“Only if you take off that sweatshirt, because I’m pretty sure it’s mine.” Leslie said, pulling at the sleeve before Lucy swatted at her fingers.

I rolled my eyes and yawned. It wasn’t the first time Lucy would take mine and Leslie’s clothes without asking and it wouldn’t be the last. At least now that we were all much older, our arguments didn’t end in biting or hair pulling. Although sometimes I thought if I could have it my way, I’d still like to punch Leslie in the face every once in a while out of habit.

“You up for it, Lyds?” Dad asked me, taking off his reading glasses and setting them down next to an old stack of newspapers on the counter. “You look pretty tired.”

I waved him off. “It’s nothing. Yesterday’s just wearing me down a smidge?”

“Oh yeah,” his blue eyes lit up with realization. “How was the wedding? I can’t believe they didn’t invite me. I only serve them hand and foot for god’s sake.”

“Don’t be a sour puss, daddy.” I laughed as he looked at me completely straight-faced. “It was beautiful, I mean, I was crying. Louis even teared up a bit and don’t get me started on the reception--”

“Louis?”

I hadn’t realized I was keeping Louis some big secret. I was just so swept up in him and Lucy and God forbid, Harry that I completely forgot to even mention him to my dad. He got really protective when it came to guys, and considering mine and Leslie’s past with them, he wasn’t wrong in doing so. When Leslie brought Joe home to meet us, dad was skeptical at first, but not because he didn’t like him, but because Leslie wasn’t one to settle down. She had a new boyfriend every other day in high school and for the most part, she liked it that way. But when she first met Joe, she knew it was time to start deserving more than she allowed herself to have.

I, on the other hand, liked being alone. After Harry, I figured it was best to just figure out who I was without him. He was like a leech, attached to every fiber of my being and I couldn’t shake him off. A part of me thinks I never did shake him off, but the bigger and more reasonable part of me thinks Louis could be just what I need.

“And what about Harry?”

“What about him?” I asked confused and sort of defensively.

He shrugged, “I don’t know, I just thought you guys were doing okay.”

Okay? Harry was around more often than not and he was a complete teeter-totter of emotions and he was currently crashing on my couch, none of that meant we were okay. If anything, we were confusing because as much as I tried to hate him and as much as I told myself I do, I just didn’t. And that makes me more angry than okay.

“Dad--” Leslie interrupted. Most likely trying to ease the tension and stall an argument.

“Why do you talk to him?” I asked, cutting her off completely.

Again, he shrugged. “I’m his employer, Lydia. I have to talk to him.”

“You know what I mean,” I sighed, starting to pick at my nails-- a nervous habit.

“Look, I know you had a hard time… I get it, I really do. But Harry’s not a bad kid.” He said, putting his empty mug in the sink and walking back over to the table to get his coat that was hanging on one of the chairs.

“You’re taking his side again.” I looked down at my lap, feeling a heavy pit in my throat. It shouldn’t have hurt the way it did.

“No, I’m not. I just-- I don’t know what that boy did to you, but I know he’s been through hell and back and you need to cut him some slack. He’s only human, Lyds.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. The room grew quiet and I felt like crying, but I didn’t have any tears to shed because I wasn’t actually sad. I just knew it would help me feel better. Crying was better than whatever I was feeling. Harry made me feel like a crazy person. Whatever kind of hell Harry went through couldn’t have been worse than the one he put me through.

“So how about that ice cream?” Leslie asked awkwardly, slowly pushing herself out of her seat.

***

The ice cream shop downtown called Freeze, was on my list of favorite places to eat as a kid. Dad usually brought us here when something significant happened or when he was trying to forget about our mom. Leslie used to poke fun at him for acting like a girl, drowning out his sorrows with a gallon of ice cream and baggy sweat pants. He’d laugh right along with her, but only to forget his pain for a minute longer.

“Do you still do mixes?” I asked the lady with long red fingernails and a short pixie haircut behind the counter. It had been a long time since I’d ordered ice cream here. I didn’t recognize the woman, I was used to the spunky, pot-bellied, old man who owned the place. He would always let me throw together different types of flavors, no questions asked about my unusual taste. He easily became one of my favorite people to walk the Earth for that quality alone.

The woman nodded, “Yes we do. What kinds would you like?”

I surveyed the menu above her head, a white marker board with little scribbles of ice cream flavors and their prices. I scanned past the bland chocolates and vanillas, wanting to try something new.

“I’ll take a scoop of Pralines and Cream and another of Lemon Sorbet, please.” I said, noting the disgusted faces and cringes my family made next to me.

“That’s an odd combination, isn’t it?” The lady beamed a smile. “Cone or bowl?”

“Probably a bowl, thanks. I just love your little finger-sized spoons.” I explained, trailing my fingers over a poster on the side of the counter.

Dad stepped in front of me, paying for our ice cream as the worker handed them to all of us. Lucy’s cookie dough, Leslie’s banana split, and his own strawberry dipped cone. Then, we followed him to a table near one of the windows. I sent the family of three seated next to us a friendly smile, pulling my chair out and taking a seat.

“Those look pretty good separately, but together?” Leslie questioned, taking a spoonful of her banana split and shoving it into her mouth. Lucy giggled as a drop of whip cream fell from the spoon and onto Leslie’s lap. “Oi! My favorite jeans.” Leslie’s eyes widened as she took a napkin from dad and began mercilessly scrubbing at her pants.

I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of my combination as well. At least I knew how not to miss my own mouth.

Dad cleared his throat, catching my attention. “Lyds, your sister has something she’d like to ask you.”

I swallowed with a loud gulp, the Lemon Sorbet numbing my throat momentarily. I looked at Lucy with a small smile, letting her speak. She tucked a piece of her dark hair under her ear, her wide, blue eyes boring into the side of dad’s face. She was never shy about speaking her mind with me, so I was beginning to grow a bit weary. “What is it?”

“Well, Sue says the next session is mummy night.” She stuttered out, licking her cone one more time. “Isla’s really excited, she says her mum is a cop, but not the fat grumpy kind who eats a lot of donuts, but--”

“Get to the point, Luce.” Dad grunted, biting into his cone that was easily half eaten.

She sighed, shifting her weight in her chair. “Anyways, I was wondering if you’re not super busy or anything, that you could maybe come with me? Sue says the support really helps and we play games and stuff.”

I giggled, reaching across the table to pull her into a hug. “Duh, I’ll go you goof.”

She smiled into our hug, holding me close to her for a few short moments before we pulled away and sat back in our seats. “Even though I have no idea who Isla and Sue are.”

“You’ll meet them.” She reassured me.

I was delighted she wanted me to be her honorary mother. It dawned on me that I was a better mom to Lucy than our real mother ever was.

I wasn’t sure how long we all sat there, nibbling on our frozen treats when I heard the ding of the door opening and that familiar deep and agitated voice. Harry was storming through the door, not bothering to hold it open for a dolled up Quinn who was trailing behind. He was telling her something about keeping his friends waiting and not wanting to be late, but Quinn just rolled her eyes and took her time ordering some ice cream.

“Excuse me,” I said, lifting myself from my seat and slowly walking over to Harry, who was now leaning against a table with his hands shoved into his pockets.

When he lifted his head and his eyes landed on me, he stood a little taller and adjusted the beanie on his head. I hadn’t seen him on the couch when I woke up early. No blankets, no pillows, no remnants of ever being slept in at all. I originally thought maybe he stayed at a friend’s, but there was the possibility that he didn’t.

I inched closer to him, smiling before I could catch myself. “Where’d you end up last night after taking me home? The streets?” I laughed, hoping he’d get the joke.

He licked his lips, sending a hesitant glance towards Quinn. I looked at her as well, examining her little black dress and pumps. Why were they together? It took a few more seconds before it finally hit me. “Oh,” I frowned.

He furrowed his dark eyebrows, his green eyes searching mine. For a moment I thought it was possible he was reading my thoughts, knowing the feeling of hurt and sadness that I wished wasn’t there to begin with.

“This isn’t going to be awkward or anything, right?” he whispered.

Despite what everyone thought, Quinn was a nice person. I knew she was, and I also knew she liked Harry more than she let on. If they wanted to be together, they could be. But for her sake I hoped it wasn’t just for Harry’s pleasure.

I shrugged my shoulders, looking down at the tiled floor. “It’s whatever. I mean, I don’t care what you do, Harry.”

Harry’s hand reached for my arm, but at soon as Quinn turned back around with her ice cream in tow, he pulled away in an instant.

“I got vanilla. I hate all those other weird flavors, can’t trust them.” She said, stopping as she noticed me standing next to Harry. My ‘weird’ ice cream melting into a puddle at the bottom of my bowl. “Oh, hey roomie.”

Shivers ran up my spine by the way ‘roomie’ rolled off her tongue. I gave her an awkward wave before looking to Harry who was licking his lips. Maybe he was right, maybe this was awkward. But it really shouldn’t have been because I didn’t want it to be.

Harry cleared his throat, “You better be ready. Niall keeps texting me, that fucking wank.”

Quinn nodded, taking a bite of her ice cream. “Come on then.”

I recognized the name Niall from the man at the strip who was undressing my best friend with his eyes. I didn’t think that was such a popular name, but I was proven wrong.

Harry pushed himself further from the table and Quinn started for the door before stopping in front of me and leaning forward to look into my bowl.

“Is that vomit?” She asked, her eyes looking from the melting ice cream to me. I noticed the obvious venom in her voice.

I shook my head as she continued walking. When Harry stepped in front of me, the bowl was ripped from my hands faster than I could say ‘bye’ before he was drawing it to his lips and tilting his head back to chug the remains.

My eyes widened while he squinted, heavy brows drawing together. “Sure tastes like vomit.”

“Yeah, not my best.” I couldn’t contain my laughter. “Wherever you’re going, have a good time. I picked my truck up today, so if you need a ride home, let me know, I’ll come get you guys.”

He kinked an eyebrow at me while Quinn held the door open impatiently, waiting for Harry. I was thankful her ice cream was keeping her mouth occupied. She was in a sour mood and I didn’t need any more of her sassy comments. I wondered how Harry handled it, but when I really thought about it, Harry was the same way.

“You’d do that for us?” Harry asked, taken aback by my suggestion.

“Of course,” I took the bowl from his hand and tossed it in the trash. “You picked me up when I needed you. It’s only fair.”

“Bloody hell, Harry, hurry up.” Quinn groaned and played with the handle on the door like a toddler.

Harry’s lip started to turn up into a smile. A genuine smile I hadn’t seen since high school. It was small, but I noticed it like a sunrise.

“Come with us,” he said. It didn’t feel like a question.

“Harry--” Quinn started, her teeth grinding together.

“Come with me,” he insisted, stepping closer to me, his eyes pleading mine. I could smell his cologne--fresh and euphoric, like a winter day.

My eyes flashed to his, then to my family. Leslie and Lucy were laughing up a storm, but my dad was staring at me hard and protectively. When I stared back at Harry, he was waiting patiently for an answer, stuffing his hands into his pockets again. Strangely, I wanted to go with him, but I didn’t want to abandon my family on family night. I glanced at my dad again, he simply sighed and nodded his head towards the door with a small smile on his face. It was approval, and until that moment I hadn’t realized I was craving it.

“I’m not properly dressed.” I didn’t exactly know where they were headed, but taking into consideration the skimpy dress Quinn was modeling, I assumed my plain, white long sleeved top and faded jeans weren’t the ideal outfit.

“No,” he shook his head, throwing a finger behind his shoulder, pointing at Quinn who was still holding the door open and throwing daggers at me with her eyes. “She’s not dressed properly. Trust me.”

Nonetheless, I waved goodbye to my family and followed Harry and Quinn to his car, willingly taking the backseat. The look on Quinn’s face made me feel guilty for intruding, but Harry’s calm and collected appeal made up for it.

“Harry, we have to stop at that one guitar shop. You know that one by The Baby Gap?”

Harry stopped at a red light as I watched him scowl through the rearview mirror-- something I seemed to be doing a lot these days. It hit me that I had no idea where we were going, but for some reason I didn’t care. For the most part, I trusted Harry because recently he hasn’t given me a reason not to. He got me home safely from Jeff and Mary’s wedding when I had drinken too much just to get past the agony of dancing the night away with Louis.

“We’re not stopping,” he stated blankly, staring straight ahead.

Quinn sighed, staring out the window for a moment before turning back to Harry and whispering, “If she asked, you’d say yes, wouldn’t you?”

He frowned, his eyes finding mine in the mirror just before the light turned green. My head snapped down as I looked at my hands in my lap. I didn’t know if she’d intended for me to hear that, but I was close enough to where it didn’t matter either way, because I had heard her, loud and clear.

Harry reached for the radio before Quinn swatted him away and he placed his hand back on the wheel, his brows knitting together.

“I like it quiet,” she barked, resting her head back and shutting her eyes. “Let’s all just shut up.”

It only took a couple of seconds before Harry grew agitated, reaching over while Quinn’s eyes were shut and cranking the radio on full blast. She nearly jumped a foot out of her seat, shooting Harry an angry and terrified look. He shrugged his shoulders and rested his elbow on the door.

It was about a half hour drive before we were pulling onto a gravel road where a gate opened to real an even longer path on the edge of Lake Windermere When I swerved around Harry’s seat to catch a peek through the windshield, there was a narrow strip of trees arching to connect above us.

“It’s like the Secret Garden, or something.” I said in awe. Harry turned his head and rolled his eyes.

I clutched tighter to the back of Harry’s seat, staring ahead as we drove closer to the house. It was tall and lined with cabin wood, a tall chimney, and a narrow staircase leading to the front door, but what really caught my attention was the replacement of glass for walls. I could see the lit fireplace near the side of the house and when I looked closely, all the party goers through the large-scale windows. It was the most gorgeous house I’d ever seen.

“I hate the way you drive,” Quinn bluntly stated, getting out of the car as soon Harry parked behind a long trail of cars.

“Just be glad I brought you,” he scowled, stuffing the keys into his jean pocket.

I pulled the door open and jumped out quickly, eager to find out what the backyard looked like. I wondered if the owner of the house had a dock, and if the moonlight shined effortlessly off the lake water how it does in my daydreams.

I hadn’t noticed I was drifting around the side of the house until I heard Quinn shout out to Harry. “Aren’t you coming with me?” Her voice sounded bitter and rude as she scoffed, but her caramel eyes pleaded with his, glistening in the midst of the porch light as she stood next to the door.

Harry shook his head, pausing for a moment. “Nah, you go ahead. I’m gonna see if Niall’s round back.”

Quinn frowned and for a moment looked like she was going to break down in tears, then her soft face hardened and she stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her. Harry walked with me to the backyard and I stayed silent, enjoying the sound of crickets and the view of lightning bugs flashing. Beyond that, the sound of Harry’s footsteps made my stomach twist and turn.

We approached a smaller crowd, laughing around the fire and sitting on patio lounge chairs and benches. A loud laugh filled my ears and I searched around the circle to find the creator of such an obnoxious laugh. My eyes landed on a smiling, blonde guy whose blue eyes twinkle from staring into flames and crinkled as he let out another string of laughs. It was the same Niall from the shops, holding a beer in his hand and roasting a crispy burnt marshmallow in the other.

I felt fingers wrap around my arm before I was being pulled by Harry to take a seat next to him on one of the benches.

“Hey there Styles! Glad you could finally take time out of your extremely busy schedule to make an appearance,” Niall started, extinguishing the fire from his marshmallow by giving it a harsh blow. “It melts me heart knowing I was at the top of your list of things to do.”

“Sod off,” Harry grumbled. “Hand me a beer would ya?”

Niall’s smile grew as he reached into the cooler next to his lounge chair. “Who’s this one?” He stared at me as he tossed a beer at Harry. “I can assume she’s semi-normal, she’s actually wearing clothes.”

I felt my cheeks blush. It occurred to me that Harry must have been the guy to see a lot of women at once. Quinn was good enough for now, but she wouldn’t be around forever. It sort of rubbed me the wrong way, that maybe Harry’s sexual habits were my fault because before I came into the picture he had a steady, long-term relationship.

I waited for Harry to speak, but when he only scowled and took a loud gulp of his beer, I decided to introduce myself.

“I’m Lydia,” I smiled shyly. “We’ve actually met before.”

His blue eyes widened with amusement and Harry furrowed his brows, sending me a look I thought could kill. “You have?”

I nodded, “Yeah. My friend bought clothes from him.” I turned my attention towards Niall who was now scraping his marshmallow onto a chocolate bar. “You mentioned something about making cougars’ panties drop.”

Niall’s face dropped and Harry barked out a loud laughed, “He used that line, did he? He only says that to make himself seem desirable.” Harry explained, resting his arm behind me on the seat. “He couldn’t get laid even if he switched places with Brad fucking Pitt.”

Everyone seemed to laugh, but Niall didn’t find it very amusing. Even I was chuckling at his discomfort.

“Why are you laughing?” Niall pointed a finger at me. “I have a date with Manuella tomorrow night.”

I crossed my arms, feeling the night’s breeze drift over me. “If you don’t want it to totally suck, don’t call her Manuella. She’s Manny.”

“Manny, got it,” he said with his mouth full. I cringed slightly, knowing Manny would have his ass for talking with a mouth full of food, even though she did it all the time. Manny broke every rule in the book, but her ego was too high to lower her standards.

“Do you want something to drink?” Harry said into my ear as the buzz of talking continued. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the breeze or the feeling of Harry’s breath on my cheek.

I shook my head, my breath hitching.

“How about my jacket? You’re shivering.”

I shook my head again, but that didn’t stop him from stripping himself of his black jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders. I looked up at him when he sat back down, his eyes locking onto mine.

“You didn’t have to--”

“Just keep the damn jacket on. I don’t need you getting sick.”

I looked down at his short sleeved t-shirt. The veins in his arm appearing as he clutched tighter to his beer. “Now you’re going to get cold.”

He sighed over dramatically. Here comes the attitude. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take, Lydia.”

“He’s naturally cold. His heart is made of icicles and his toes are always freezing.” Niall cut in, “Hell, he’s the king of Iceland.”

Harry clenched his jaw. “That’s Greenland, bloody tosser. You never--”

“See what I mean?” Niall yelled, throwing both of his hands up.

I giggled, “I think he’s decent enough.”

“Decent enough doesn’t make up for all the hearts he’s broken,” he said, musing a low chuckle. Everyone seemed to fold over laughing, but honestly I didn’t find his comment funny. I was one of those broken hearts.

I felt Harry’s body tense up next to me and he shot gunned the rest of his beer. I watched him as he crushed the can in his hand and threw it to the ground. His hard stare was locked on the fire, his emerald eyes ablaze. A million thoughts were running through my head as he quickly stood to his feet and pushed past my legs in order to storm off towards the dock.

“Good going Niall, you pushed away your only friend.” The man next to Niall cackled.

“He does that all the time, he’s like a toddler who's sat in a dirty diaper too long.” Niall shrugged, taking another beer out of the cooler. “You’re my friend, John. You keep me in line.”

“No one can keep you in line.” John mumbled under his breath.

I stood up quietly, trying to make my escape as they continued to bicker amongst one another. I could see Harry’s silhouette sitting on the dock as I trailed further down the hill. My boots made a loud clunking sound as they padded against the wood, but Harry remained facing the lake with his feet in the water.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” I asked him, standing a fair distance behind him. I didn’t really know where I stood with Harry, so I didn’t want to invade his space without asking.

He sighed, “It’s not my dock, you can do whatever the hell you want with it.”

I decided to ignore how irritated he was, holding Harry’s jacket closer to my torso before sitting down next to him Indian style, with one leg tucked under the other. It only took a light shove to push his socks and shoes behind us.

I didn’t have anything to say, and I figured he’d just get angry with me if I did. I wasn’t sure how long we were sitting in silence, but eventually it grew pretty comfortable. The smell of lake water and the sporadic sound of splashes hitting the rocks eventually became a song, lulling me to sleep.

“Do you ever just stop and think about high school?” Harry’s voice jolted me awake. “We were pretty close back then.”

I nodded, smiling slightly at the good memories and how he was referring to it like it was so long ago when in reality it was just a little over one year. “I always remember those little moments I had with you.”

He flashed his eyes to the water, staring out at a couple of birds swooping low and near to us. “I wonder if we’ll ever talk again like we used to.”

For the first time since I sat down, he looked at me. Cheeks soft, lips full, and eyes gleaming. The moonlight hitting him in all the right angles. The butterflies came back into my stomach and I tried swallowing them down, but it was useless.

“I was a better person back then,” he said, running a hand through his curly locks. “I thought I had it all figured out and I was-- at least I thought I was happy.”

“You’re not a bad person now.” I looked down at his feet dangling in the water, choosing my words carefully. “You’re more lost than you’ve ever been, sure. But you’re not bad.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Yeah, you have no idea.”

When he rested his weight back on his arms, I did the same, the tips of our fingers touching. “I think I do.”

He stared down at me with a frown, tearing his hand away from mine. “No, you don’t!” He exclaimed, taking me off guard when he quickly leaned forward and I had no choice but to stare at his back. “You’re a much better person than I am.”

Being better than someone took a lot more than being nice. Sure, I smiled more than he did and I was less judgemental. But Harry had so many friends he didn’t talk about and family he cared about. He worked to provide for himself, I worked to save up for college. He gave me his jacket because I was cold. He was the happy go lucky boy from high school that I fell for. We both made our fair share of mistakes along the way, but I was coming to realize that didn’t play a role in how good of a person someone was.

“You make me want to be better,” he said, turning over his shoulder to look at me. It was dark but I could tell they were wetter than usual and more distraught.

I leaned forward and sat up taller to meet his gaze. Slowly and hesitantly I reached into his lap and slid my palm against his, but it wasn’t me who laced our fingers together, it was Harry.

“We should probably get back to the party. I’m sure Niall’s telling everyone what a huge pussy I am.”

I took in a long breath, staring out onto the lake where a sailboat was gliding across the water. The warmth of his fingers and his light caressing on my knuckles felt like it’s own version heaven and I couldn't let him walk away from me just yet. “I think we should probably stay here for a few more minutes.”