Anti Blue Skies

Present day, Fall 2013

After roaming almost every aisle at the nearest utility store, I finally found what I had been looking for after searching a full hour, and it was a looker at that. I remember my dad saying his grill had bit the dust from overuse, which now I know is a complete lie, my sister Leslie called me yesterday to confirm that he actually just ran it over while pulling into the garage. I hate to say it, but I wasn’t surprised. Incidents like that always happened when I was living there, you got used to dad destroying everything after growing up with him for so long.

The brand new grill sat in the corner, overlooked, and I imagined the look on my dad’s face after receiving the gift, I would surely win the Favorite Daughter Award. I wasn’t kidding either, every year he would print out a MVD (most valuable daughter) certificate and give it to one of us, there was no special benefits though, dad was just nuts, but we appreciated him for it.

After mom ran out on us after Lucy was born, dad had a really hard time, I had never seen him shed a single tear before let alone cry a whole river. We were all miserable, but he was the best dad in the whole world, and because he had to raise three girls on his own, it made him that much more responsible and helped him gain a new, humorous perspective on every curveball life threw our way.

Purchasing the high-quality grill, I payed the extra amount to have it put together at the store because I surely wouldn’t be able to get it done in time for dad’s fiftieth birthday at five o’clock and I wasn’t going to make him set up his own gift. One of the workers with a name tag that read Alphonse, lifted the grill into the bed of my pickup truck. It was the same rusty, black truck dad always let me borrow when I was in high school, I begged him for a year and half before he finally loosened up and let me buy it from him.

I arrived at my old house located in the small suburbs on the west side of London, the tire swing still hung tightly to the weeping willow in the front yard, there was still an empty dog house without a dog, and there was still a gaping hole in the middle of the stairs leading up to the house from when dad fell through them holding two gallons of white paint.

I made sure to pull a tarp over my vehicle to cover his present, he was nosy and I didn’t want him seeing my gift before he saw Leslie’s and Joe’s. With all of his money from being a boring, but successful business man for ten years, there was bound to be something big coming out of it, Leslie wouldn’t have it any other way. She was engaged to a millionaire, why wouldn’t she milk him for all he was worth?

Before I opened the door to enter the house, I pulled up my dress and gave my hair a slow finger brush. I wanted to look like I tried to look nice, I was one of those people who thought dressing up was just throwing on a dress, putting on some lipstick, and brushing my hair. There was more to it, and I knew it, but honestly, what was the point of being uncomfortable. Although I did love a cute pair of heels.

The moment I opened the door, I knew something was wrong, usually everyone was huddled in the living room cracking jokes and making a mess, but as of now the house was properly made up. I heard a muffling of voices coming from upstairs, I could make one of them out as Leslie’s, reassuring my thoughts, I hustled up to meet them by taking two stairs at a time.

Joe was leaning against the wall casually, watching as my dad and sister called for Lucy outside her bedroom door. The door that used to be mine.

“What’s going on?” I asked impatiently, all three of their heads turning to me.

Leslie was the first to speak, though she usually was. “She’s gone mental.”

She was referring to our fourteen year old sister, and as I got closer to the commotion I heard crying from the other side of the wooden door. I frowned in confusion.

“Oh, shut up Les.” Dad grumbled, she just shrugged her shoulders and stepped into Joe’s side. “Hey babygirl, good to see you.”

He wrapped his strong arms around me, giving me a fatherly hug. I took in his Old Spice cologne and felt the stiffness of his gelled hair graze against my ear.

“Of course dad, it’s your birthday. I can’t just call and reschedule.” He chuckled at my statement, but his muscles were tense.

“I can’t get the kid out of her room. Maybe you could give it a shot.” He flicked his finger towards the door, then grasped his belt buckle with both hands. “Something happened at school today.”

I nodded him off and watched him stroll down the stairs. Resting my head on the solid door, I knocked softly a few times and called for my baby sister. Okay, maybe she wasn’t a baby anymore, but when I heard her cry it was like she was one and I was six all over again. Stuck without a mother.

“Hey Luce, it’s me. Your bestest sister ever.” The room filled with silence. “Are you gonna let me in or do I have to bust down the door?”

There was thuds of footsteps and shortly after a jiggle of the doorknob as she unlocked the door. The door swung open, causing me to stumble forward. I caught myself, looking at the tear stains on her full cheeks. Her dark hair was a tangled mess, there was wet droplets on the neck of her shirt, and her usual pretty blue eyes were now lifeless and bloodshot. Just by looking at her I felt every ounce of pain she was feeling. I used to be that girl, I used to be the one to lock myself in my room after school and cry for hours on end.

I sighed, quickly wrapping my arms around her body. It took awhile, but her arms finally reached around to my back and clung to me tightly. She needed to know that I would always be her rock, no matter what, because I knew what it felt like to feel like nobody understands. That’s why she didn’t let in dad or Leslie, because they didn’t get it. I did.

Just when I thought she was calmed down enough to let her go, a loud sob left her mouth and I started to feel more tears and snot slide onto my bare shoulders. She was almost as tall I was and she was only fourteen. I couldn’t kneel down and cradle her like a baby anymore, so I kissed the top of her head and smoothed down her hair. I felt something sticky and once I felt it I could smell it... it was gum.

I pulled away from her immediately, examining the huge chunks of bubble gum at the bottom portion of her hair. I was furious because humans should not have it in them to do this to another human. I was furious because that human was my sister.

“Who did this to you?” I frowned, but she wouldn’t look at me, she didn’t have to.

“Kenzie.” She whined, it was hard to make out from her hysteria, but considering it was always the same girl causing her trouble, I already knew her name. It helped that I really hated the name Kenzie.

“Well I’m gonna get this out for you.” She nodded her head. “I’ll be right back.”

I went to the bathroom to fill up a spray bottle with a mixture of conditioner and water. I opened the drawer to the barber scissors, I kept a ton of them in there for the cosmetology classes I took when I was in school. I knew how to give a decent haircut, not perfect, but good enough.

When I went back to Lucy’s room she was sitting on her bed, her crying seemed to die down, but when she looked at the supplies in my hands, the tears started falling from her blue eyes yet again.

“You’re not cutting my hair!” She stood to her feet, pulling her hair to one side protectively. “Can’t you just wash it out?”

“You have too much in there!” If she was going to raise her voice, so was I. We were still sisters after all. “I’m sorry, but this is how we’re doing it.”

She moaned loudly in distress. “Now come sit over here, you’ll feel better when I’m done.”

I tried my best to comb through it as I drenched it with the spray bottle, I turned her full body mirror so she could watch me cut her hair because I knew she still didn’t trust me after all the bad trims I had given her in the past, but I’ve had my practice since then.

I started cutting, her eyes watching the thick globs of bubble gum fall to the floor.

“I wish my hair could get as long as yours.” It was the first thing she said in about five minutes, luckily her crying had stopped.

“Don’t make me feel guilty for having long hair, I feel bad enough.” I gave her a coy look through the mirror, she chuckled and looked down at her feet, but I pulled her head straight.

“Even when it wasn’t full of gum, it never got like yours.”

“That’s because you have dad’s hair.” I blatantly stated.

She gasped and playfully jerked her head to the side so that I was left cutting air. It was nice to hear her laugh, it was like I hadn’t heard it in years.

“Quit moving or I’ll cut it like his too.”

After an hour of cutting, combing, washing, and rinsing, I was finished. It was a lot shorter, I had to take off about five inches, leaving her hair sit delicately on her shoulders.

“Hey this isn’t half bad.” She was fluffing her locks, looking into the mirror as I sat on her bed. “The change feels pretty good.”

She was smiling from ear to ear, turning to come sit next to me.

“I’m glad.”

Silence fell over us, our legs dangling over the mattress. The laughter coming from the kitchen escalated through the vent by Lucy’s dresser.

“They’re always so happy, Lydia. It’s annoying.” She was grimacing, but her eyes were glowing, and I think her short hair had something to do with it.

“Dad’s trying his best, you know that. It’s hard to talk to him sometimes, but he’s a great listener.” I took her hand in mine. “But for right now, you need to tell me what happened.”

She drew in a long breath, and released it slowly. There was a sad tint in her eyes, and I knew whatever it was she was going to say, would be the hardest thing she’s ever said to me. Deep down inside, though, I knew what it was going to be about, I always knew it was going to be a struggle for her, and dad.

I squeezed her hand for reassurance, “I had another seizure in math class today.” She sniffled back some tears that threatened to fall. “Everyone thinks I’m a freak.”

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders again, pulling her head to my chest. I felt her tears, I felt her pain, I felt her struggle. I also felt her bravery. Shushing her, I tried my best to calm her and whisper into her ear.

“You are not a freak, you’re beautiful.” I ran my fingers through her hair soothingly, “And you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”

Downstairs, everyone was singing Happy Birthday to Eddie.