Anti Blue Skies

Work seemed to last forever, but my measly half an hour break in my whole eight hour shift felt like ten seconds. Harry was cooking again, and it was really starting to bother me that dad had taken off so much in the past two weeks, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was scared it might be because of my little sister, or because I couldn’t stand to hear Harry whistle Eye of the Tiger for the millionth time while he flipped burgers.

I washed my hands a final time before punching out and running to the back to grab my purse. The kitchen looked rather messy, a multitude of mops were aligned by the door, crumbs all over the floor, Harry even managed to drop a three liter can of peaches while making room in the main fridge. He asked me to clean it when I had spare time, but I pretended like I didn’t hear him.

The minute I unlocked my phone, a text message appeared from my little sister, Come and get me ASAP.

A restricting lump formed in my throat, panic rushing over me. There was a number of possibilities that could be wrong with her, she could have broken an arm or leg, Kenzie could have picked on her today at school, or the worst one yet, she could have had another seizure.

I wished more than anything that I could be the one with epilepsy, the one to have to struggle with everyday activities and go on about my life like nothing was the matter. Like no one could pull me down, because even though I couldn’t relate to my baby sister, I knew just how hard it was on her to suffer for fourteen years.

I turned to leave, rushing to the door. With all my attention on Lucy, I failed to remember the puddle of peaches in front of me. My feet slipped right from under me, landing me straight on my bum. I had a rather boney one at that, so the pain would have been unbearable if I wasn’t so embarrassed that Harry had witnessed the whole thing.

He quickly set down the plates he was carrying and rushed to me with wide eyes. He bent down to pick up my extra necessities that my purse threw up. “I asked you to clean this up.”

Those weren’t exactly the words I would use before helping someone out and I was hesitant to accept it, but he didn’t leave me much time before he slipped both his hands under my armpits and pulled me up like a toddler. For some reason, my first instinct was to laugh, but I quickly swallowed the feeling, not wanting to give him the time of day.

“Are you alright?” He asked, picking up my purse and handing it to me. Though he didn’t sound too sincere or concerned.

I tried my best to act casual, but the worry for my sister and the large stain of peach juice on my bottom was making it nearly impossible.

“Yeah, just peachy.” I replied sarcastically. His eyes flashed with amusement, waving his pointer finger at me.

“I see what you did there.” He watched as I ignored him to check my phone again. “Good one.”

I had to get out of this building, away from multiple-personality-Harry, and away from these wet jeans. I needed to pick Lucy up as fast as I could because she needed my help. I reread the message a couple of times, trying to step over the peaches without falling again. I could hear Harry sloshing his way through them as well, following in my footsteps towards the exit.

“Is everything okay with your sister?” His question caused me to stop dead in my tracks. He’s never bothered to ask about my family before, he knew all he needed to know. We were broke, boring, and basic.

“How do you know Lucy?” I turned back around, questioning him with confused blue eyes.

“I don’t personally, I just skimmed your phone a bit.” He stated unfazed, shrugging his shoulders. It wasn’t any of his business, and he didn’t actually care, so he could stop pretending like he did. I couldn’t read his eyes, they were wide and green, but they were dead and dry.

I grasped my phone tightly, hoping to shield it the best I could. “You can’t just do that, I don’t go snooping around your things.”

“You act like I broke into your house and went through your underwear drawer.” He chuckled, but I wasn’t laughing.

“Well, you have been at my place a lot lately.” I crossed my arms, trying to inch towards the front door. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“I don’t remember you being so uptight.” He rolled his eyes. “I just looked down and saw her name, not a big deal.”

Maybe it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t matter, he didn’t need to know everything all the time. So I lied, “Yeah... everything is fine.”

I didn’t sound too convincing, but I tried my best. I turned to leave before Harry could ask me anymore personal questions because he wasn’t going to get personal answers. I heard him grumble something under his breath as I shut the door behind me, something relating to the mess he had to clean.

I almost got into a couple of minor accidents on the way to my dad’s house, but fortunately I made it safe and sound. Maybe not sound, my pickup was making a strange sound when I pressed on the brake, but I’m a girl so I didn’t care.

I didn’t bother ringing the doorbell or knocking, I never did. Wiping my feet on the welcome mat, I noticed my dad sitting in the kitchen eating a bagel and drinking coffee. Even though it wasn’t morning, that was always his go-to afternoon snack. I constantly wondered why a chef like himself made such bland snacks, but then I pegged it as him being lazy.

I approached him slowly, crossing the spacious living room. He licked a clump of original cream cheese off his thumb. “She’s upstairs packing.”

“I didn’t know she was sleeping over.” I stated confused, he shrugged his shoulders.

“I couldn’t tell her no. She’s been so down in the dumps.” He took a quick swig of his coffee while I leaned on the counter in front of him. “I’m running out of ideas, I had to go back to Ole Glovey.”

Glovey was a talking oven mitt he put over his hand, it never failed to cheer me and my sisters up, but that was when we fell and scraped our knees or lost one of our favorite barbie dolls.

“Dad, she’s fourteen.” I crossed my arms and he shrugged his shoulders again. He was very good at it.

I could hear Lucy upstairs, opening and closing her wooden drawers. The sticky, frustrating collection of drawers was a hand-me-down from our mom, but none of us would ever tell Lucy about that. I remember the huge argument Leslie and I had about who would get them, but dad came to the brilliant conclusion that Lucy would get them, simply because she didn’t know mom.

Lucy came trudging down the stairs wearing baggy sweats, her dark brown hair in a messy ponytail. She looked like she just rolled out of bed, but even then she didn’t look this run down.

“You pack a toothbrush?” Dad asked in his usual monotone voice. I sent Lucy a kind smile, but she didn’t bother returning the favor.

Dad continued with his pestering. “How about extra socks? Your meds?”

Lucy slammed the refrigerator door shut after grabbing a bottled water, the loud thud causing me to jump. “For god’s sake, dad. Yes, yes, and yes!”

My mouth fell open, no matter how things worked around here, you never gave dad attitude, and you definitely didn’t yell at him. Lucy didn’t show as much respect towards him as Leslie and I have, probably because she never got to see him heartbroken.

As soon as I saw my dad wipe his mouth with a napkin and stare down at the floor I wanted to kick my baby sister so hard in the arse she’d soar out the window.

“Can I go now?” Lucy held her stance, her hip popped and her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.

Dad stood to his feet, if he had felt disrespected, he pushed it to the back of his mind. “Give me a hug, kid.”

Ever since she was a toddler dad called her kid. The nickname made her relax and drop her tough girl stance. Thankfully she leaned into his arms. I smiled as dad kissed the top of her head, knowing how it felt to be ten times happier after his simple gesture time and time again.

Lucy carried her bag towards the door, hinting it was time to leave. I was about to head out after her, but dad pulled me in for a bear hug made just for me. I hated the smell of Old Spice, but somehow on dad it never got old and disgusting. I missed him too much.

“Before I leave, I have to know why you hired Harry flipping Styles at the bar.” I lightly swatted at his chest and he chuckled. “You know I can’t stand the guy.”

Dad knew the bits and pieces about Jen and her posse of plastic hobillies, he knew she was Harry’s girlfriend. He didn’t know we slept together and that Jen and Harry are recently broken up. He knew Jen bullied me, tore me down, and made me feel like dirt. He knew everything was Harry’s fault, he just didn’t know how to put two and two together.

He patted my back, sort of nudging me towards the door. “He’s a good kid, Lydia. Give him some credit?”

My ass.

“No thanks, I think I’ll stick to wanting to hit him over the head with a frying pan.” A part of me wasn’t lying, but dad laughed anyways.

I turned to leave, swinging the door open. Lucy was waiting for me in the passenger seat of my black beauty. Her head was resting against the window, but I could tell she had my radio on by the way she was tapping her foot to a beat on the dashboard.

“What the hell, did you have an accident?” He was pointing at the dark, wet space on the back of my jeans.

“Oh nothing, just a little something that happened at work today with the good kid.”

***

We only had about a six minute drive left to go, the radio was blaring through the speakers. I grimaced whenever a loud crash of base came through on a song because the radio sucked, it wasn’t a good sound, it was uncomfortable. It didn’t seem to be bothering Lucy, she just continued scrolling through her phone and twirling her ponytail.

The second I turned the music down she turned her head to me so fast I thought she would break her neck. Her blue eyes hooded with confusion as her eyebrows scrunched together.

“Why did you freak out at dad like that? I didn’t think his questions were too difficult to answer.” My hands slid from the top of the steering wheel to the bottom, slowing down for a red light. Traffic was pretty busy.

Lucy sighed, “It’s not that, he’s just been driving me crazy. You don’t know how it feels to be cooped up in a house just you and him.”

“He’s just trying to be there for you.” I sent her a small smile. “You should feel lucky to have all of his attention.”

Lucy rolled down her window, I can imagine she got hot wearing thick sweatpants and a sweatshirt. “Whatever.”

I hated to say it, but she was acting like a teenager and not my loving, bubbly baby sister.

When we got to my apartment, Lucy marched straight through the kitchen and pushed my bedroom door open, not bothering to go in, just deciding to throw her duffel bag on my bed from the hallway.

“How classy.” I grumbled, locking the door behind me.

Lucy walked past me, walking into the living room to sit on the couch. She reached for the remote to turn on the t.v. and immediately started flipping through channels.

I thought when she texted me it was a serious medical emergency, not an emergency to barge into my place and run up my electricity bill.

“I’m gonna go change.” I made my way for my room, remembering how damp my jeans still were. I mumbled the last part, “If you care.”

I decided to change into my pajamas, it was still early in the afternoon but if Lucy was going to dress like a hobo then I could at least put on something comfortable. When I came back out to the living room, Quinn was cracking open a can of beer and handing it to my little sister.

It only took one sip to get her face squished up in disgust. I tore it from her hand, some of it spilling onto my arm and her pants. “Fat chance Luce.”

I examined the can, ignoring Lucy while she whined. I angrily turned to Quinn who was now rocking back and forth on the lounger.

“What is wrong with you, Quinn? She’s a minor, you can’t just hand her Crouch Vale!”

She crossed her legs, staring past me to look at the t.v. “She looks older.”

I scoffed. “No, she doesn’t.”

Quinn ran a hand through her stringy blonde hair, finally taking time out her day to acknowledge me. It felt like we were having a staring contest, neither one of us blinking as she nonchalantly stared into my blue ones, but I wasn’t backing down. I was standing over her, feeling powerful and ready to attack if I had to.

She threw her hands up in defense, finally backing down. “Okay look, she seemed upset and like she could use a drink.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that she’s fourteen.” How many people did I have to tell that to today?

She smiled over to Lucy who was biting her nails, waiting for Quinn and I to finish with our dispute.

“I drank when I was fourteen.” She looked up at me like she had won, like her statement was an accomplishment that she was proud of, that was the weird part.

“You didn’t have me for an older sister, and I say no.”

Lucy stood up suddenly which caught me off guard, making it extremely easy for her to rip the can from my hand. “Quit being a bitch, Lydia. I just wanna have some fun.”

I had never heard her cuss before, certainly not to me. She started chugging the beer faster than I could process, but when it registered, I reached for her mouth. We both held a strong grip on the can, fighting for dominance.

She threw her own temper-tantrum, squealing when beer spilled over her and splashed to her feet.

I rarely fought physically with my sisters, usually it was when Leslie stole my shirts or when Lucy took money from my purse, it was never over a can of alcohol I was trying to get my baby sister to stop from chugging. If only dad could see her, if only dad could solve the problem she was so clearly having.

At this point, I didn’t even think there was any beer left in the Crouch Vale’s can, but we continued fighting anyways, I had to win. To get her grip to loosen, I grabbed her wrist with my useless arm, but it didn’t do much besides pull up her sweatshirt sleeve.

That’s when I saw the cuts. Fresh, red, and unbearable.

My hand drew away and I was paralyzed. Lucy’s eyes grew large, pupils dilated. The can hit the floor, all the fight left in us vanishing. She pulled down her sleeve, running into my room and slamming the door.

There was still a fight though, one that Lucy was fighting, and losing. I didn’t even recognize her anymore. Tears formed in my eyes while I stood still in the living room, speechless.

Quinn got up off the chair, awkwardly stepping around me and trying to be quiet.

“You didn’t see anything, okay?” I whispered.

She nodded and gave me an apologetic glance before going to her room.

I crumbled to the floor, burying my head in my knees.