You're Such a Fool

I now know why Nason was always complaining about Max being clingy. He wasn't like crazy obsessive like "We're going to get married, have eight kids, and live happily ever after in a cabin in the woods."

He's just always texting me during school and wanting me to walk him to class and all this other shit. I know that's what "normal" couples do but I wasn't a "normal" relationship kind of guy.

I tried it once before and I promised myself never again. During the summer before my freshman year, I dated this dude named Austin. When we first started dating it was great. I had only came out as bi-sexual a few months back and I'd never had a boyfriend before. Our relationship was pretty chill at first; we'd usually hang out every few days to smoke or go to the movies or whatever.

But then a few weeks into it, Austin went crazy. He was convinced we'd be together forever. He wanted to hang out more and more. He spent all day, everyday at my house. If his mom refused to drive him, he would make the hour and a half long walk over.if we weren't together, he'd be texting me. If I didn't text him back within two minutes, he would send a message like "Are you mad at me?" Or "You're with someone else, aren't you?" And I didn't reply to that,he'd call until I picked up.

I broke up with Austin after a month and a half. He went bat shit crazy. I ended it over text because I didn't want to deal with the crying that would inevitably occur.

I ended up having to anyway.

I was laying in bed smoking a joint with Ryan when Austin randomly showed up,red faced and sobbing.

"This is why you broke up with me? So you could be with him?" He had screamed in my face,poking his boney finger in my chest. I was pretty high and my mind was hazy.

"Dude... No. I dumped you because you're psycho." I said. Ryan snickered softly from my bed.

"Ronnie, please don't leave me. We can work it out."

"Austin, you're hot and all but you're annoying as fuck." I took anger hit.

"What about our future. I love you and you said you loved me."

"Dude, we're 14. We have no future." I handed the joint to Ryan and plopped back down beside him. "And I don't love you."

Austin made a weird noise like a dog choking on a squeaky toy and then stomped out. His family moved away a few weeks later. It may be wrong but I like to think it was because of me.

Max wasn't that clingy but it was still annoying. He doesn't spam my me until I answer which I guess is a good thing. Compared to Austin, Max was chill.

On Thursday since Max didn't have to work, he asked if we could hang. I told him I couldn't because my brother was visiting which was actually the truth. Brad was coming over to deliver some supplies.

I dropped Max off and went straight home. Brad was waiting for me on the porch, smoking a cigarette. He and I looked very similar. Same facial features, same built, same brown eyes and black hair except Brad had his buzzed. Growing up, before he had his growth spirt, people always thought we were twins. It was weird because of the five year age gap.

Now Brad looked much older. He was into a lot harder drugs than I was and they all took their toll. His skin had a green tint to it, his eyes were sunken and black, and he had multiple scars on his face and arms.

"Hey, baby bro. How goes it?" He stubbed out his cigarette on the rocking chair arm and stood, clutching his back pack to his chest.

"Alright. Come on in." I unlocked the door, allowing him in first. He got straight to business.

He dumped the contents of his bag on. Coffee table. Pills, powder, everything. I ran upstairs to get the $500 I owed him and he handed over the goods.

I figured he would take off like he normally did but he stayed. He sniffed, scratching his arm frantically.

"My friend Josh, you remember him? My buddy who works at the hospital in California? He gave me some medical marijuana for free. Way better than that shit you grow. You wanna try?"

"Sure."

We lit up and he was right, this was a lot better than mine. It smelled amazing and was stronger. Brad and I got pretty faded.

"So, Angie's pregnant." He said randomly, passing me the bowl.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Angie was Brad's junkie girlfriend. They've been on and off for the last few months now. I thought they'd only last a week, like Brad's other relationships,but Angie's stuck around. Guess it was serious.

"That's cool, Brad."

"Not at all, bro. Angie is getting straight. The doc told her if she kept using, it could hurt the baby or whatever."

"Yeah, so?" I looked at him though the smoke. "Do you want her to lose the baby?"

"No, Ronnie but since she quit, she's like found the light or some shit. She's trying it drag me to church, bro." He sighed and took the bowl back. "She wants me to quit too so we can be 'a happy family.'" He used finger quotes, shaking his head. "She brought up marriage,man! I don't want to be stuck with her for the rest of my life. It's not my fault she got knocked up. Why should I suffer?"

I opened my mouth to reply then shut it again. The drugs obviously fucked up his priorities. He was so strung out that he lost all his morals.

"She threatened to leave if I don't get clean, but I know she won't."

"Brad, maybe you should-"

"So how's dad?" Brad cut in.

"Wouldn't know. I never see him."

"Typical." He muttered.

Him and dad never really got along. Brad was always closer to mom and when she left, when he was eight, he blamed it on dad. It only got worse as we got older because dad was gone more and expected Brad to take care of the both of us. Brad moved out when he was sixteen.

"We'll when you see him, tell him the great news. I gotta go." He stood up and wobbled toward the door. "See you... Whenever." He gave a lazy salute and left. I shut the door behind him, finished the bowl, and stumbled up to my room.

My phone went off just as I was putting the new gear into my safe. I expected it to be Nason. Nope. It was Bert McCracken. Bert was an acquaintance of mine and my best client. I met him through Brad a few years back. He was two years older than me.

"Hey, dude." I answered the phone.

"Ronnie, what's up, man. Listen, I'm having a party tomorrow night at my uncle's old cabin. You in?"

Bert was known for his crazy parties. Tons of drugs, booze, horny dudes and slutty chicks. At the last party of his I went to, I woke up in a bush hungover, naked, and smelling of sex and cinnamon.

"Hell yeah."

"Sweet. ten o'clock. You remember where it's at?"

"Yeah. You want me to bring anything?"

"Nah. I've got everything covered. See you tomorrow."

"Alright, man. Later."

"Peace."

~~~

"So did you want to do something tonight?" Max asked as I drove him home the next day.

"Shit. Sorry, Max. I meant to tell you that my friend invited me to a party tonight." I feigned an apologetic look. "But you can come if you want."

I only asked because I knew he'd say no. He definitely wasn't a partier. He was more of a sit-at-home-and-study-on-a-Friday-night kind of guy.

"Uh-ok. Yeah."

Crap.

I wasn't expecting that. But I had to fake a smile and pretend like I didn't want to slam my head onto the steering wheel.

"Great."

I dropped Max off at home, told him I had chores to do, and said I'd pick him up later. In reality though, I drove over to Jacky's where Nason, Ryan, and Derek were all at.

"Did you 'ear about Bert's party?" Jacky asked.

"Yep. He called me yesterday." I sighed. "Max is going with me."

"Dude, I can't believe you actually went along with Nason's stupid plan." Derek said.

"Hey!" Nason threw a pillow at him. "It's not a stupid plan. It's going to work."

"Seriously, Ronnie" Jacky said. "How could you fuck with his emotions like that? He's in my math class and he's a good kid."

Jacky was the "mother" of the group. He was always the voice of reason. Like when Nason, Ryan, Derek and I wanted to try and see whose hairspray was the most flammable and Jacky said it was stupid and didn't let us do it. Looking back, maybe Jacky was right.

"Nase paid me $100." I said simply. Jacky rolled his eyes.

"You're an asshole,Ronnie."

"Yeah, I know."