It's ***ed Up

Dad came home at 6 a.m. I could hear his footsteps, and then I heard the door to his room close.
I got up and unlock my door, the reason I locked the door was that sometimes dad would check on me to see if I’m asleep or not, he used to do that when I was a bit younger. And when I feel down I don’t want to see any living soul so I would just lock the door until everything would be quit again. I left the door to my room open for Gracie to come out when she would feel like getting out. And as always you can feel eyes on you in this damn house, I don’t even know how to get used to this shit.
I go over to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, and again I can feel like there is someone behind me. “Creeper” I say to myself and to whatever is with me.
I open the door to the yard and sit in one of the little couches there. Even in summer vacation I can’t relax like a normal person. Shit.

*later that day*

I was lost in my own thoughts until my dad sat in one of the couches near me. “What time is it?” I asked him “Good morning to you too Ames, it’s four p.m.” he said “Well it isn’t morning now is it” after that we sat in silence, a few moments later dad broke the silence “What happened last night?”he asked “No no, you tell me what happened last night” I snapped at him.
He didn’t say nothing, “thought so” I finished and came inside the house, I put my cup into the sink and when I was just about to leave the kitchen I saw my broken phone lying there. After I saw what I did to the phone my dad came in and saw it too “Jesus Ames, what did you do to it? You know that money doesn’t grow on trees” he said as he picked up the phone “you’re gonna need a new one” “so now you know what I need don’t you” “stop snapping at me like this! I’m your father for god sake! Watch your language and tone!” “Why should I?! Father my ass! You barely home and even when you are you don’t want anything to do with me!!! So you tell me why you even took me in?! why you adopted me?! So I could be alone some more?! Like I couldn’t do it back at the orphanage!!! “ I shouted back at him “That is it! You are grounded from now!!! Now go to your room!”he shouted.

I did as I was told, I hated when he was angry, when he got angry I always felt scared for some reason.

I sat on the floor in the middle of my room, tears going down my face, I could only think what if I wasn’t here, how much Zak’s life would be easier if I wasn’t standing in his way. It could save so much trouble to the both of us.
I look at my closet, I open it and look at the top shelf and see my old big bag, I use it only when I’m going to my grandma’s house.

I take the bag and put everything in my arms reach, close the bag and hide it under the bed. Now I only wait for the night to come to make my run out of here.