Relationship Assistance (Boyfriend Guide)

Umino Iruka never saw himself as much of a catch for anyone. And yet, despite all of this he had somehow, miraculously found himself in a relationship with a wonderful woman that, at times, he found himself quite unworthy of. He was sure that every man felt that way about their special person from time to time, as well as thinking that their special someone might as well have hung the moon and to him, she was all that and so much more.

He couldn’t possibly love her more, which was why after not seeing or being able to hear her voice for almost four weeks he had become quite antsy and a bit worried. It was only four weeks his friends had said when he told them of his dilemma, as if that was supposed to comfort him. They just didn’t understand. She was his most precious person in the world and four weeks apart from her felt like a lifetime.

Being a Jōnin, she had been sent on a secret mission with the peculiar grouping of Shiranui Genma, Hatake Kakashi and Namiashi Raidō. All of whom were competent ninja, old friends of hers and worst of all — every one of them were single men that many women in the village mooned over.

Now she was on a secret mission doing only God knows what with Konohagakure’s most eligible bachelors. One of whom Iruka knew had a thing for his girlfriend.

How exactly was he, a simple Chūnin Academy Instructor, supposed to compete with men of their caliber?

She would always laugh it off whenever he brought it up, boldly stating that there was no one else in the world she would rather be with than him, before erasing all the doubt from his mind with a literally breathtaking kiss that was oftentimes followed by a raunchy make-out session and other carnal activities that made him blush so deep it reached the roots of his hair.

If he had to pick just one thing about her that he admired, above all else it would have to be her unshakable confidence in them. She was always so confident in their relationship where he was not.

They were the most unlikely couple in all of Konoha, according to the rumors.

Her more rowdy female friends had even joked once over several bottles of sake that she’d have to be the one to propose if they ever wanted to marry. They had even gone so far as to compare him to her previous lover, when she had briefly left the room, and according to them he didn’t measure up. Not that many could.

He’d laughed it off in front of them, but on the inside he had withered.

After that incident he had stupidly withdrawn from her and by the time he had drawn up the nerve to talk to her again, the Lady Hokage had sent her off on a covert mission. He had raced to see her, to maybe explain why he had done what he had before the team took off, but he had been too late. The frustrated tears he couldn’t hold back had been all too obvious to the two guards, but thankfully they carried on as if nothing were amiss.

So, here he was, left to wait for the woman he loved to come back whole and secure and hopefully still as much in love with him as she had professed on a near daily basis before his screw up. He was supposed to be grading papers, but nothing written on them was clicking in his head. The words had no meaning and the tenseness of his shoulders continued to grow, as he watched the clock steadily tick away the day.

She was supposed to be back today.

Missions didn’t always go as planned, he knew this all too well. But for the sake of his nerves he hoped that everything had gone as planned on their end and that he would be spending the night wrapped up in their shared embrace. Without her beside him his heart felt as empty as his bed.

Iruka was just about to slam his head against his desk in frustration when one of the other Instructors gave a quick, careless knock on his door before saying, “The team’s back.” It wasn’t much, but Iruka knew what he had meant and within moments his classroom was empty. In his haste the sole classroom window was thoughtlessly left wide open to allow a stray breeze to scatter his desk full of papers all over the vacant room.

Iruka made it to the Hokage building in record time. Every haggard breath he took burned his lungs, but nothing and no one was going to stop him from seeing her. Not even the Lady Hokage herself could have stopped him. Seeing her was more important than any life or death situation.

When he finally spotted her, she had just exited the Hokage’s Office and was deep in conversation with one of her teammates, while the other two walked just a little ahead of them. Their voices were too low for him to make out what they were discussing, but from their lax posture and her beautifully smiling features he knew that they weren’t speaking of the mission.

None of them had even noticed him standing in the middle of the hall yet, and thinking of his ragged appearance he was glad for their ignorance. He only had time to catch his breath before Kakashi and Raidō finally noticed him. Neither spoke as they passed him, but both gave him a raised brow as if silently asking him why he was just standing there like a dumbass letting the man everyone knew had a thing for his girl continue to gain more ground with her.

Iruka’s posture straightened and he nodded to his fellow shinobi in silent thanks before calling out her name. Her reaction was instantaneous. Her head whipped around so fast that her long hair slapped Genma in the face, much to Iruka’s amusement, and when her eyes fell on him her expression brightened by a hundred-fold.

He didn’t even get the chance to say more, before she joyously called out his name and immediately pounced on him. The force of her body colliding with his sent him sprawling backwards into the wall while her long legs wrapped snuggly around his waist and her arms latched around his neck as she planted a searing open mouthed kiss on his lips right in front of everyone, including the smirking Hokage and a clearly shocked Shizune who had been about to leave for the day.