Status: hiatus; being rewritten
Spanner in the Works
couple of the year
“Sorry, sorry – oh, god, this is priceless – start again. I won’t laugh this time, I promise.”
Remus is having trouble restraining himself from aiming a hex right between James’ eyes. He sighs, grits his teeth, flexes his fingers and says, “Shut up,” because he’s too tired and too embarrassed to come up with something more intelligent than that. It works, though, because James falls immediately silent – but his lips are still quivering.
“Moony, c’mon.” Sirius pushes himself up into a sitting position from where he’s been lying at the bottom of the bed. He sweeps his hair out of his eyes and grins. “We’re your mates. We laugh because we care.” A pause. “And also because it was funny. But mostly because we care.”
Remus sighs, drags a hand across his face, and peeks through his fingers. He sucks a deep breath through his nose and says, without pausing, “I asked her what we were supposed to do and she asked me if my name was Remus so I said yes and then I remembered her name so I said it and she threatened me. Happy?”
They’re collected on James’ bed in the dormitory, Sirius lying languid across the foot as he’s often prone to do. James is stretched out, arms behind his head, feet crossed at the ankles, and Remus is sitting with his back against the headboard and his knees pulled to his chest, glaring equally between the two of them as they dissolve in fits of laughter. Peter is still stuck in the hospital wing after the disastrous Potions lesson in which he stirred a batch of Ageing Potion the wrong way and ended up growing back his baby teeth.
If he’s being brutally honest, Remus thinks the whole ‘Peter is a baby’ thing is far funnier than him getting verbally abused by Darcy Collins – and he makes absolutely sure he calls her Darcy, even in his head, because her threat still hangs above his head like a cartoon rain-cloud and he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.
“Mate, did nobody tell you?” James asks between bouts of laughter. “Never, ever call her Darcianna. It’s like... it’s a cardinal sin. Up there with the Unforgivable Curses.”
“Clearly I wasn’t informed,” Remus sniffs. “And would you two stop laughing for five minutes? It really isn’t that funny, you know.”
“I dunno, mate, it’s pretty funny,” Sirius says earnestly. At Remus’ glare he sighs and flops back into a completely horizontal position. “Don’t worry, though. I know how you feel.” He places a hand over his chest and pats, face scrunched in mock pain. “I too am experiencing the dreaded curse known as girl troubles. McKinnon is being sensitive again.”
“Maybe that’s because you continue to refer to her as McKinnon,” James says, nodding wisely. “See, me and Lily – couple of the year, if you’re wondering – we’re doing great. Never better, actually, and— Oi, piss off!”
He shields his face with his arms as a pillow sails through the air and knocks the glasses neatly from his nose. It makes Remus feel a little better.
Remus is having trouble restraining himself from aiming a hex right between James’ eyes. He sighs, grits his teeth, flexes his fingers and says, “Shut up,” because he’s too tired and too embarrassed to come up with something more intelligent than that. It works, though, because James falls immediately silent – but his lips are still quivering.
“Moony, c’mon.” Sirius pushes himself up into a sitting position from where he’s been lying at the bottom of the bed. He sweeps his hair out of his eyes and grins. “We’re your mates. We laugh because we care.” A pause. “And also because it was funny. But mostly because we care.”
Remus sighs, drags a hand across his face, and peeks through his fingers. He sucks a deep breath through his nose and says, without pausing, “I asked her what we were supposed to do and she asked me if my name was Remus so I said yes and then I remembered her name so I said it and she threatened me. Happy?”
They’re collected on James’ bed in the dormitory, Sirius lying languid across the foot as he’s often prone to do. James is stretched out, arms behind his head, feet crossed at the ankles, and Remus is sitting with his back against the headboard and his knees pulled to his chest, glaring equally between the two of them as they dissolve in fits of laughter. Peter is still stuck in the hospital wing after the disastrous Potions lesson in which he stirred a batch of Ageing Potion the wrong way and ended up growing back his baby teeth.
If he’s being brutally honest, Remus thinks the whole ‘Peter is a baby’ thing is far funnier than him getting verbally abused by Darcy Collins – and he makes absolutely sure he calls her Darcy, even in his head, because her threat still hangs above his head like a cartoon rain-cloud and he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.
“Mate, did nobody tell you?” James asks between bouts of laughter. “Never, ever call her Darcianna. It’s like... it’s a cardinal sin. Up there with the Unforgivable Curses.”
“Clearly I wasn’t informed,” Remus sniffs. “And would you two stop laughing for five minutes? It really isn’t that funny, you know.”
“I dunno, mate, it’s pretty funny,” Sirius says earnestly. At Remus’ glare he sighs and flops back into a completely horizontal position. “Don’t worry, though. I know how you feel.” He places a hand over his chest and pats, face scrunched in mock pain. “I too am experiencing the dreaded curse known as girl troubles. McKinnon is being sensitive again.”
“Maybe that’s because you continue to refer to her as McKinnon,” James says, nodding wisely. “See, me and Lily – couple of the year, if you’re wondering – we’re doing great. Never better, actually, and— Oi, piss off!”
He shields his face with his arms as a pillow sails through the air and knocks the glasses neatly from his nose. It makes Remus feel a little better.
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you didn't see me i'm just passing through