Tell Me Where's My Hollywood Ending?

I was now sat in the nurse’s office. Some student found me in the bathroom and brought me. The first thing the nurse did was call the office and tell them to call my dad. She told me to lay down and that I would be okay. By the time my dad got there I felt okay, but he whisked me away to the doctor’s. I explained to him about how I felt when I was in the bathroom.

“Sounds to me like you had a panic attack,” The doctor said.
“A panic attack?” Dad and I exclaimed. The doctor nodded saying something must have given me really bad anxiety causing me to have a panic attack.
“But I’ve never had a panic attack before,” I said. The doctor said it was still possibly for me to have anxiety that was never triggered before.

He told my dad that I was okay, it would probably best to let me go home for the rest of the day. If I had anymore episodes of anxiety, no matter the intensity, we should come back here. I got back to the Palm Woods. As I walked through the lobby James stood in front of me. I rolled my eyes and stood there giving him a blank stare.

“Can we talk?” He asked. I nodded quietly, my dad took my bag. James pulled me off to the side. “Look I’m sorry I said that you were like Camille... I can just tell that Logan really like you and your sister, and I don’t want him or you to make a mistake.”

I started at him.

“Now will you please talk to me? I miss my run buddy,” he said. “Also why are you here? It’s 11 after twelve.”

“I had a panic attack...” I said quietly. James raised an eyebrow at me. “I had a meeting with the guidance counselor and she asked what I was thinking of doing after I graduate. I-I couldn’t answer her-”

“Woah woah.. hey..” he sat me down on the lobby couch and put an arm around me. “That’s okay.. You don’t need to know what you want to do.”

“Yes I do, I always do- have?” I said. “I’ve always had a plan in my life since I was ten, and now I don’t.”

“Yea, and that’s okay..” he told me. He gave me a one armed squeeze once I didn’t reply.

He brought me to my apartment where I went right to my room and laid in bed. I pulled out my laptop and started looking at colleges and universities.

I needed to make a plan.

-- -- -- -- -- --

The next day my dad came into my room to say he would drive me to school. I told him I didn’t feel well, so I was able to stay home and continue searching for university and college classes. Around nine he left to go to work. I gave up my search after not too long after he left. I curled up underneath my covers.

I wasn’t interested in much things, nor was I that good at them. The counselor had said that my highest mark was in Drama, with a close second being English. They were then only things I was good at, but acting was Camille’s thing, and I didn’t really have much passion for English.

My phone buzzed on my bedside table snapping me out of my trance. I grabbed it and brought it under the covers with me.

Jordan: Baby, I haven’t seen you in the passed two days where are you?
me: Home. Sick. See u 2moro.

I put my phone under my pillow and thought about Jordan. He wasn’t that great of a boyfriend, whenever we talked, or my phone rang, we would fight. We hardly even kissed, which was saying something because my last two boyfriend’s I had gone all the way with. I didn’t feel anything for Jordan, not that I’m saying I was in love with my ex’s. I didn’t believe sex was a thing you had to be ‘in love’ for, sure it’s probably more important if you love the person, but it’s also just a natural part of life.

I started wondering if I should break up with Jordan when I heard a really loud bang on the apartment door. I crawled out of bed and walked purposelessly to open the door. I found James stood there.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” He asked.
“I don’t feel good,” I said. He walked passed me and sat on the couch.
“Why’s that?” he asked. I explained to him how I’d been trying to make a plan and the only thing I really had passion for was acting. “Then do acting, start doing it and transfer to the Palm Wood school.”
“I can’t! Acting is-”

“Camille’s thing, but if you like it too you should go for it,” James said. 
“Yea but if I do Camille and I will become a set again. Camille and Caitlyn Roberts,” I said. “People who are my friends, suddenly become our friends, it’s literally the worst thing about being a twin. Every single fucking thing, get’s shared. Me becomes we, and I become us.”

I sat next to James on the couch. He pulled me into a hug.

“You don’t have to be part of the same agency, or even do the same movies as her,” he told me. He reached for the remote and turned on the tv. He put his mouth to my ear and said quietly just to me. “But the great thing is you don’t need to decide right now.”

He sat with me for the rest of the day watching shows that other kids from the Palm Woods were in. I wrapped my arms around him as to thank him. I might be going now where now, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be going now where forever. I still had a lot of time to think, and James made me feel a bit better about it.