Rooting for the Good Days

I woke up in an empty bed and my first thought was that she had left me since I'm the first one to get up, every morning.

I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, trying to breathe. My new scars felt like they were burning, but i had no time for worry about them now; the love of my life had just abandoned me.

'You alright?' a concerned voice came somewhere near the bedroom door. Tears started to flow out of my eyes and I jumped out of the bed, running to the girl, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

'I thought you left me' I tried to say in English and through the sobs. Z didn't say anything, she just hugged me back and suddenly started to laugh.

'I wouldn't leave you, I love you.' She kissed my nose, 'And you are just fabulously whipped.'

While Z was in the shower, I dragged my sleepy feet to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee before heading out, where the pack of cigarettes waited me in an empty flowerpot.
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We walked hand in hand, which seemed to disgust too many people. My stomach was twisting as I felt all the stares on my back, but Z didn't seem to even notice them. She was happily humming her favorite Paramore song.

'And after all this time, I'm still into you.' She sang loudly and kissed the corner of my mouth. Now everyone was staring at us, some smiling and some probably trying to figure a way to kill us without getting caught. I didn't dare to lift my eyes up from my shoes anymore; I wasn't ashamed of my sexuality, I was ashamed of myself. I hated it when people stared at us or just me because then they saw all my flaws which I tried to hide by staying low and not doing anything to get the people's attention.

I almost cried from happiness when Z pulled us into a clothing store, away from the stares of narrow minded people.

Z started to wonder around the isles, pulling me behind her as she touched everything she saw, even me. Her hands wondered over my fresh cuts causing me to hiss from pain and moan from pleasure at the same time.

My quiet moans didn't carry far, but they were loud enough for Z. She pulled me against her, sliding her hand into my jeans. No one could see what she was doing, and I hope to god no one could hear.

'Don't be loud.' She whispered, but I couldn't help it, she knew how to make me scream and now she was just torturing me.

Z kept dragging me along, hand down in my jeans, rubbing me gently. She asked my opinions of the clothes she saw and every answer I gave, came out as a moan.

'Please, not here.' I moaned quietly and that's when her fingers slipped into my warmth, causing my head fall back as I bit my lower lip to keep the noises in.
_____

'I hate you.' I yelled and slammed the bathroom door shut. I could feel her rolling her eyes at me behind the door.

'Darling, you are just pissed that I didn't finish you.' Z giggled.

'Sometimes I hate you, so fucking much.' and of course she replied with 'I love you' because she knew I couldn't be mad at her when she said that.

Sighing i carefully peeled my jeans of, trying not to scrape the bleeding cuts that already managed to leave dark spots on the fabric.

After ten minutes, i finally got out of the bathroom, bandage wrapped around the bleeding thigh. Z was leaning against the kitchen door, smiling.

'I made your favorite food, pasta.' She said with a bright smile, which disappeared when i shook my head.

'That's your favorite' I smiled and kissed her forehead. 'I'm going to take a nap.' Z nodded and disappeared back into the depths of the kitchen. 'C'mon Catbob Fluffypants, it's nap time.' I picked the hairless creature from the floor.