What I'd Never Tell Him

Cam watched as the other male slowly walk away, as a nagging feeling tugged the corners of his lips up into a smile. The swirling feeling in his stomach finally subsided as he came to term with himself. Everything was clicking in his head.

That strange feeling, the one he excused for nausea or annoyance, was actually butterflies. He rested his head against the doorframe as he watched Oli turn into his house. He had the strongest urge to just call him back here; they could get ready together. Oli could sleep in his bed, and Cam could make breakfast.

He quickly snapped out of this, before remembering it was okay to have these thoughts. As long as it stayed between them, no one had to know. They could have their own little secret relationship. He smirked at his thoughts, waving to Oli as he disappeared into his home.

Cam closed the door behind him, shuffling to the kitchen to make him some tea. As the pot was brewing, he leaned against the brightly whitened counter top and let him replay the events he had been seeing in his head for the past few hours and night.

His mind scanned over the feelings of pure magnetic feeling that pulled him to Oli. It was as though he was constantly on his mind, every minute since they’ve met. The way that he felt the urge to lean in at the sight of Oli’s perfectly pink lips and the urge to protect the boy in his wet shirt and underwear played in his head, as a blissful smile played on his face.

He thought all the way up to the moment their faces were inches away. The dark endlessness in Oli’s eyes, he couldn’t help wonder what he was thinking in that moment. The way he was so skinny underneath Cam’s built frame, and the way he could just move down a little and have all the questions answered, it was what made it all worth it.

His mind played the endless scenarios that were capable of happening, when the loud shriek of the kettle quickly tore him from his thoughts as he moved the porcelain container off the hot stove. He poured himself a glass and he shuffled towards the couch, where he sat. Within the first sip, his mind was more awake.

Then, he got to the end of his thoughts. The knock on the door, the boy’s confession, the hug, it all came so quickly. He smiled at it, as he stirred his tea, watching it circle around. What would that say for them? Would they actually…kiss? The thought seemed incredulous to Cam but he couldn’t help but become completely absorbed in that thought.

He imagined the feeling of Oli’s lips on his over and over for hours on end, until he finished the whole kettle to be exact, and then he went to get ready, eager for the untold night that awaited both Cam and Oli.

~ *~

That day seemed to take forever to pass. He spend endless hours looking at the clock, wondering what time Oli would make his way over.

Eventually, it turned eight o’clock. Cam was just making his third round, making sure his house was clean, and the pasta was steaming. When the door rang, he felt his stomach flip as he went and answered it.

A smile stretched on his face as he watched Oli’s do the same. The boys skinny jeans hugged his body perfectly, and his shirt fit him just loosely enough. Cam pulled him in and gave him a hug, shutting the door behind them. It felt great to have him back in his arms.

Oli almost immediately sniffed at the air like a dog, before a smile curled onto his lips. “How did you know I fancied spaghetti?” Oli teased, nudging the boy, as he danced into the kitchen.

Cam followed him, chuckling with a shrug. “It’s a lucky guess, I suppose.” Cam assumed, with a grin.

Oli smiled and glanced at him knowingly. His eyes danced devilishly, as he spun in his chair. “I suppose you’re going to be very lucky tonight.” Oli stated, making kissy faces towards Cam on the opposite side of the room. They both knew he only meant the kiss, but still, Cam’s face lit up brilliantly.

Cam rolled his eyes with a laugh, taking the pasta off the stove and organizing it into the bowls. Oli and Cam fell into an easy chatter was he set the table for the two boys. “You know, they say I make a mean Italian dish.” Cam teased, as Oli chuckled, shaking his head.

“We’ll see.” Oli teased, taking his seat across the table. Cam took his rightful seat, preparing to dig in before Oli interrupted. “WAIT! You can’t just do it like that.” Oli scolded, as Cam cocked an eyebrow at him.

Oli motioned towards Cam’s fork as Cam complied. Oli quickly found a relatively long piece of spaghetti, wrapping it on both of their forks. Cam quickly got the idea, as he gave him a look.

“What?” Oli surrendered, with an innocent puppy dog look. “I watched too much ‘Lady and the Tramp’ as a kid.” Oli shrugged, as he stuffed his end in his mouth. Cam quickly followed, his stomach anticipating the feel of Oli’s lips on his.

The noodle seemed to go on forever, before Oli and Cam finally touched. They paused for a moment, pulling away slightly to glance at each other, before crashing their lips together again.

It was much different than any other girl he had kissed. Oli was much rougher and broader, but that didn’t stop him from running his hands through Oli’s long black hair. The thrills of his stomach echoed in his throat, as they smiled into the kiss.

As they reluctantly pulled back, they glanced at each other. They knew then, that this wasn’t something they could deny. That was also the first time that Cam admitted it to himself. He was gay, and he was head over heels for Oli Sykes.

~*~

The night continued on blissfully, as the boys finished eating, watched a few movies, and, of course, kissed many more times. Everything was going great…well almost.

It was when they sat back from the screen after watching another episode of T.V, when Oli stated something so simple. “Just wait until the guys find out about this.” He said, as Cam quickly stared at him.

“Wait…what?” Cam quickly spit out, with wide eyes, as Oli glanced at him concerned.

“I said, the guys won’t believe this.” Oli quickly said, as Cam’s eyes widened even more, as he quickly shook his head.

“N-no, you can’t do that. This…us… it’s our little secret!” Cam stated, the words coming out sloppier and quicker than intended, his cool and warm exterior leaving for several moments.

Oli’s face flashed hurt before he emptied it, looking numb. “Our little secret?” Oli mocked, his voice dry and monotone as Cam winced.

“I mean, it’ll be fun. It’ll be our own hidden romance.” Cam tried to perk it up, embarrassed as he heard himself.

“You’re ashamed of being gay.” Oli stated, blankly as Cam winced once again.

“Don’t say it like that-“ He began before Oli cut him off once again.

“No, it’s exactly like that. You’re afraid of being with me, and you don’t want anyone to know.” Oli accused, as Cam’s defensive guard came up.

Crossing his arms, he shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just not ready to come out to the public.” He decided as Oli bit back.

“It’s not the public, it’s the lads in my band.” Oli stated, stubbornly.

“It’ll get out to the public!” Cam stated, desperate for Oli to understand as he shook his head.

“No, Cam, don’t worry. I’ll stay your little secret.” He stated, roughly, as he quickly got up. “I need a drink of water.” Oli stated, heading towards Cam’s kitchen as Cam sighed, leaning back into the leather couch, his head more confused and full than ever.