Blessed with a Curse

As me and Kyle walked I tried to get Oli's face out of my head, I needed this, Kyle was a cool guy and cute, actually wanted me, and he was gay. Oli was straight. Simple.
Yet sometimes I got the impression he wasn't quite as ruler-straight as he made out to be. Or maybe it was just me imagining things because lately, I'd started wanting the other man in the worst possible way. That's why I'm here with Kyle now. Trying to distract myself.

I felt guilty as Kyle looked at me sweetly.
"I didn't think you were interested."
"Of course I am, you're adorable." He smiled and I planted a kiss on his lips, he kissed me back and pretty soon we were full-on making out.

Later that night, everyone was round fires again eating and drinking, I'd finally got rid of Kyle who'd been hanging off me ever since we'd fucked earlier in the afternoon. And Oli was sitting alone again.
"Hi."
"Hey." He replied hoarsely, his eyes wide and never looking away from the fire.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah." His voice cracked slightly and he downed the rest of his beer.
"Oli, how many have you had?"
"...not enough." I sighed and tried to pull the next beer out of his hand when he grabbed it. His eyes flickered to mine and I felt my heart start pounding. He leant forwards, I met him and we kissed each other gently for a second before Oli snapped back, staggering to his feet.
"Oli I'm sorry don't-"

"S'okay..." He wandered off to their bus and I kicked the floor angrily, cursing me and my stupid sexuality.

"Jayy?" I turned to see Jack from ATL behind me.

"Hey....did umm...you..."

"See what just happened? Yeah pretty much. Man, Jayy I didn't know you liked him." I nodded and sat down with him.

"I thought you and Kyle had a thing going."

"Not exactly...."

"Does he know that?"

".....not....exactly...." Jack sighed next to me.

"I know, Jack. I just don't wanna deal with this tonight....just wanna-"

"I don't care what you wanna do man, this isn't fair on Kyle, go tell him you're not interested."

I did tell him, and he was sad and angry, he wouldn't say anything so I apologised once more and walked away from him, feeling guiltier than ever.
Next stop, Oli Sykes.

I walked onto their bus and Oli was pacing around, he stopped when he saw me and exhaled loudly.
"Oli I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking..."

"Do you....I hate you still!!! Ok?! You're...you're really fucking vain!! And fake all the time and...and you guys took the piss out of that little girl being bullied for god's sake!! I mean that is just sick!! And you-"

"Hang on, what?"

"I've seen the video Jayy."

"What of that girl...oh my god. You idiot."

"What?" He asked defensively, I took a step towards him.

"She was lying, she wasn't actually getting bullied. She did all those videos to get attention, she even lied to her dad about it, she was trying to get those kids in trouble. And me and Dahvie were messing around.
No one got hurt." Oli frowned.

"Yeah. That's seriously why you hate me?!"

"And the...the other things I said..." I sighed and leant against the couch as Oli looked around with an expression I couldn't decipher.

"I am such an idiot."

"Yep." He looked at me and away again.

"I'm still sorry for kissing you, but now your excuse for being mad can't be that you hate me." I said quietly and he met my eyes again.

"I'm not gay, alright? I didn't like it or nothing....you...do you actually like...like me?"

"Yeah." I admitted in a croaky voice, Oli looked away again and then looked back at me before speaking again.

"Well I'm sorry, like I said, I'm not gay."