The Resident Leader

"Hasn't been as easy as I thought, y'know, living without him." Lee sighed, setting another can of beer by my side.

It was so strange to move into the little town. All the locals were weird people who lived their lives to apathy. No one had any dreams or any ideas. They were all washed up, pathetic people who just trundled on in life with no ambition. In the city, everyone was doing something, they all had plans.

"Always something missing, isn't there?" Another lad, Mike piped up. I could only imagine the difference Ian made to this place with his big personality and defiant, rebellious attitude. The group he led disbanded in a way after his death. They didn't use nicknames anymore, they were just friends. I tried to blend in as much as I could, but I was so different to them all.

None of them had ever had a taste of the city. On a night out, they'd just go fucking with people around town, acting like childish twats. They wouldn't go to a bar and fuck a hot girl. They were awkward little sci-if nerds who all bunked school to watch Star Trek all day. They rode scooters, not motorcycles or cars. They were fighters, often in brawls with police officers. They stole things to get by, but not one of them and touched drugs. Yet every weekend they hung out on the moors and got a fire going, to drink the night away. I stayed on the good side of the law (apart from the drugs) and I would rather die than drive a scooter.

"He was alright, really. Never had a chance in Hell of working it all out though," Lee said sadly. Out of all the boys, Lee missed him the most. "He was like a brother to me."

"Come on now, he was a brother to all of us," Mike shuffled a little closer to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "And we meant just as much to him as he did to us."

For a few moments, everything was quiet except for the crackling of the fire. The moor was still, sitting in silence in remembrance of Mirrorboy. A month had passed since his death, but it still shocked us. It scared us. He'd always been vulnerable and fragile, but only his most trusted friends were allowed to see that side. Lee was one of them. Lee saw Ian in his weakest moments, he was the one Ian could turn to.

"Death, it's something unpredictable. I guess it was his time." Lee said, breaking the sad silence.

"That's a better way to look at it! Here, have another beer!" Mike laughed, handing the melancholic boy another can. He took it, but he didn't share his friends joy. His eyes seemed lifeless, painted glass spheres in a doll's head.

The others came over, Stu, Ilan, and Jamie. They were all already half drunk, and gladly accepted the offer of beer from Mike. While they chatted away about hot slut's they'd met (one of which being Ian's girl-thing, Tay, who went home with me), I shuffled over to Lee who was excluding himself.

"I could've saved him." He said quietly, holding his head I'm his hands.

"I believe in fate. I believe it happened for a reason," I explained quietly. "I know that's probably no help to you but wherever he is now - he's probably having a greater life than he ever did."

Lee looked up and smiled sadly. Mirrorboy's life had been so shit and depressing. It wouldn't be hard to have a better life than he did. And besides, that kid never done shit. He just had a her issues. When things went wrong he'd always try and set them straight. It was always his fault, he always tried to apologise. All his life he put on a brave face and soldiered on into the battlefield. His cockiness was protection, he was afraid of being abused more. Really, he was just a cool nerd who still lived with his father, went months without getting laid and had a serious drinking problem. That was the guy Lee adored and looked up to.

"Instead of letting it get you down, why don't you make a lesson of him?" I suggested. He stared at me perplexed, almost offended. "Well, I used to be a drug dealer who everyone loved. I adored their attention, I was a king in that city, a saint. Then Mirrirboy ends up dead because of me and I realise what I was doing. How many kids had lost their lives trying to bring me down? How many lives had I fucked up because they would follow me without question? Mirrorboy wasn't the first but he is the last. I don't do drugs anymore, I don't fight or control or lead or whatever. He showed me why my life was wrong. I learnt that thanks to him."

Lee sat in silence, obviously a little stunned. "Well, I guess he taught me what suffering really is. He got beaten up and dragged down every single day, but he put on a smile for us all. He acted as though nothing was wrong. He went through all this messed up shit and he still had the ability to make the best of it. He still had the decency to smile politely and treat people with respect. And he never once let me down. No matter what was wrong he'd help me. I could tell him anything. He was like a brother to me." He explained. He grinned to himself.

The Mirrorboy he described was a stranger compared to the one I met. But I knew it was the truth. He decided to change so put on a shitty attitude, but he was really sweet in reality. "He taught me I shouldn't hate my parents because other people actually have reasons. He showed me that a smile is the greatest gift you can give someone, because it can make their day so much better."

"See? Now he will always be with you."