All That I've Got

“Not to be a downer, Gee,” Frank said the next day when he was driving Gerard home, “but how have things been with Brian, and the Jury, and all that stuff?”

They hadn’t talked about it in a while, and Frank was hoping stuff at Gerard’s home had calmed down. A few days ago, Brian had started sensing bad things everywhere, and had been limited Gerard and the others.

“Brian’s still feeling like everything is a danger, but in the last week, the Jury groups in New England have been pretty low key. There’s been no encounters and no safe houses have been attacked.”

Frank nodded and kept his eyes on the road. Gerard continued, “I’m thinking Emerson wanting to leave for college just has him stressed out. Everything’s been pretty perfect lately.”

He felt Gerard’s grin on his skin, and it made his heart fizz. But it died down pretty quickly. “Any new leads on Mikey?” he asked.

The mood went somber. “No,” Gerard sighed, “ Brian’s been searching and talking to groups out west, but no one’s seen Mikey.”

Frank’s heart sank a little. Even though Gerard was happy most of the time, Frank knew nothing, not even any love they had, could fill his brother’s spot. He put his hand on Gerard’s knees and squeezed a bit. Gerard linked their hands and they drove in comfortable silence the rest of the way.

Ray, Bob, and Patrick met them at Frank’s. Ryan and Pete had made their excuses on why they couldn’t hang, and Frank was fine with that.

“You guys take fucking forever,” Bob had complained when they pulled up. The front door was locked, and as usual, his mom was at work.

He’d gotten over his bitterness pretty soon when they got inside and Frank had gotten some food into him. Ray had brought more comics, and Gerard was oohing and ahhing over them, just like the first time he’d come over.

“So how’s the band been?” Patrick asked Frank after they’d all settled into the basement.

Ray, Frank, and Bob exchanged a look. “It’s been a bit slow going,” Ray said eventually.

“Pete has been a bit iffy since I got with Gerard,” Frank answered bluntly.

Patrick looked surprised for a moment, then he let the topic go. They ordered a pizza and used the money the could scrap from their wallets to pay, and they spent the evening ignoring their homework and trying to convince Bob to dye his hair black.

They had school tomorrow, but everyone except for Patrick decided to stay overnight. Frank was glad, most nights he’d gone to bed alone because his mom came home at one or two in the morning.

Since Frank’s basement still sucked compared to Bob’s, they headed upstairs and Ray helped Frank arrange a mound of blankets on the floor of Frank’s room for everyone to sleep on.

By eleven everyone was passed out. The TV was still on and Ray was huddled next to Gerard with a comic book cradled between them. Frank giggled softly, then went to the bathroom to wash up.

When he got back into his room, Bob had gotten up and was sitting on the floor beneath the now open window. He offered his cigarette to Frank, and then lit another for himself.

“Frankie, I gotta tell you something,” Bob said into the silence after they’d smoke for a while.

Frank’s heart sped up a bit, anxious. “Yeah, Bob?”

“Don’t give me that worried puppy dog face, now,” Bob shoved Frank’s knee a bit. Then his face fell.

“I might be moving at the end of this year, back to Chicago.”

Now Frank’s heart fell. No Bob meant no band, and no threats, and no Bob meant no Bob. “No, you can’t leave,” Frank said pleadingly. His life was just starting to get good, and he was going to be selfish and want it to stay that way. “C’mon, can’t your parents let you stay to finish high school?”

Bob shrugged his broad shoulders. “I don’t know, man. It’s just something they’ve been talking about for a while, and I haven’t wanted to really tell anyone. I don’t even want to think about how Ray and Pete will react,” Bob said, “so try not to tell them just yet. Things might change and I don’t need them on my ass or anything.”

Frank nodded, then on impulse he lunged forward and tackled Bob in a bear hug, nearly knocking over a lamp in the process. “I love you, Bob.”

Bob laughed and hugged back (which was a first for Frank to experience). “Love you, too, Frankie. Now go sleep with your boyfriend, before he gets too jealous.”

Frank looked over to see Gerard’s eyes were open, but he still lay cuddled up in the ground-blankets.

Frank laughed and picked his way over to Gerard, cigarette forgotten.

Frank curled himself next to Gerard, who wrapped his arms around Frank’s shoulders. “I love you, too,” Frank whispered in the dark. He heard Bob shut the window and climb down next to them. Then all was silent as Gerard pecked Frank sweetly on the lips before he fell back to sleep.