All That I've Got

Gerard’s P.O.V.

The house was quiet when the Range Rover pulled up. When he stepped from the vehicle, Gerard’s breath swooshed from his chest and he stood, taking in the house as he had all week.

Lush swaying lawn swooped up a slight incline to the house, branching off into several sprawling gardens. The house itself was a warm sand color- turned smoke gray in the evening’s cloak. It sat, looking full of its self, and completely aware of its beauty, in a mass of wood porches and sunrooms and delicate balconies. The roof peak, unending, pierced the sky and the sterling stars.

Gerard had seen nothing as beautiful as this house. But as with each time that he came home to it, a dark feeling amassed in his stomach as Emerson and him trudged up the drive.

They stepped onto the extravagant front porch, which was tastefully decorated with a hanging swing and various potted plants. Gerard politely opened the heavy oak door and held it for Emerson.

She had been the first person Gerard had warmed up to when he got here. She had a comforting personality and she was a few year older than Gerard. It helped that he had met her a few years back too. Back before, when he had lived with Mikey and their parents.

A pang shot through Gerard’s chest, like someone had pulled stitches out of a healing wound, and he stood still for a moment in pain until Emerson called for him.

“Coming,” he said, and entered the house.

Brian found them almost immediately. He shot Gerard a look. “Did you do what we talked about?”

Gerard bit his lip, seeing a boy with dark hair and piercings in his mind. “Yeah. I acted normal. No one asked questions, Brain. Don’t worry.”

Brian didn’t look relieved. He looked just as stressed and pained as ever. “Just keep acting normal. Keep yourself under control, okay?”

Gerard nodded, feeling the weight of his exhaustion. It’d been hard today, suppressing his ‘abnormality’ (Brian’s words). He’d enjoyed himself, but now he was bone-tired. “Okay, I understand. I’m going to bed now. Long day,” he said.

Brian starting to turn away, then he swirled and caught Gerard’s shoulders.

“I want you to keep an eye on that. . .that boy. The one who can sense your aura. He’ll be the one to ask questions- undig secrets. I’m not so sure he’s secret-free himself. Is that okay with you, Gerard?”

Brian’s eyes searched Gerard’s. Gerard swallowed, then gave another nod. That task wouldn’t be too hard. Gerard had a feeling he’d have his eye on Frank whether Brian wished it or not.

“Okay. I’ll be in the kitchen, then. Emmy, there’s food in the fridge. Goodnight, Gerard.” He walked away.

Emerson tapped Gerard’s shoulder as he turned to leave. “You should eat dinner,” she said, pretty face looking concerned.

Gerard shrugged, “Nah. There’ll be more for Nate and Mark this way. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then he left too.

Showered and in his bed, Gerard sat motionless for awhile, listening to downstairs noises. He could hear Nate’s little-kid voice, and Mark’s older laugh. He could hear the microwave spinning and the TV hushed in the background.

If you didn’t know the secrets, the lies and the power that built this house’s very foundation, Gerard thought, it would seem so painfully normal.

But he knew better.

-----

A week later, dawn found Frank with a cigarette in hand and sleepy eyes. Of course dawn was fucking gray. The dark was just watered down by dishwater sun and lousy clouds. Frank was on his front porch again, though without Pete now. He’d been up most of the night, sleepless and agitated.
School was supposed to start in less than two hours, and Frank couldn’t imagine moving a single bone from where his was. In the house, he could hear his mom buzzing around, starting coffee and getting ready for work.

Eventually the cold got to him, and Frank smashed out his cigarette and went inside.

“Morning, Frankie,” his mother said when he found her at the breakfast table. “Sleep well?”

Frank plopped down beside her, deflated and exhausted. “Not great. I only got a couple hours.”

His mom cooed in sympathy, then passed him a ceramic mug of coffee. They drank in silence, his mom giving him worried eyes over her drink.

“I’m fine, ma,” Frank said. He did feel better with caffeine in his system. But he knew nothing would cleanse him of this grimy, slow feeling of no sleep. But at least he could function better now.

Frank got dressed and was in time to see his mom off for her work as a nurse at the hospital.

After another cigarette and a few lamenting moments, Frank climbed into his Jeep and headed toward school, thanking whatever god he needed to that it was Friday.

“Fucktard!” Bob shouted across the gray morning. “You look like crap!” Him and Ray were crossing the parking lot toward Frank. When they reached him, Ray slung an arm around Frank’s shoulders.

“I hate to say it, but he’s actually right, Frankie,” Ray said.

“Yeah, yeah I know. I couldn’t sleep, too much on the mind or something,” Frank replied through slow lips.

“Hmm. Gerard on the mind?” Ray’s voice squeaked in its teasing.

“Oh shut it. Actually, no. It was just regular, doctor-verified insomnia,” Frank sighed.

“You talked to a doctor?” Bob asked.

“No, dude, I was kidding,” Frank said. “Sarcasm.”

Bob rolled his eyes back and flipped Frank off.

Frank was almost too tired to care that he hadn’t seen Gerard all day. But when the raven haired boy approached their table at lunch, Frank felt a grin splitting his lips.

“Hey, Gee,” he said, trying not to yawn.

“Ya! He’s here,” Ray squealed, patting the warped plastic chair at his side.
Gerard sat and ducked out of his bag. Bob slid a bag of chips across the table to the newcomer and they all sat back, settled in.

A few of Frank’s other friends joined them: Matt, Patrick, and Ryan. They’d quickly taken to Gerard after had Frank introduced them. Gerard even managed to diffuse fights between Bob and Matt a few times, which Frank and Ray had come to think was impossible.

Gerard and Ray walked with Frank to his history class, Frank and Ray discussing guitars and Gerard
looking content to just be there. Frank was in a great mood, despite his exhaustion.

That mood lasted only until he got into class though, when Frank’s body betrayed him and he ended up asleep on his desk in the middle of a rehashing of the Russian Revolution and woke up to a detention slip. Thank fuck it was Friday, though, and Frank could wait until Monday to serve his time.

When Frank entered 8th period, he prayed that the slip wouldn’t burn a hole through his pocket and reveal itself to Ray and Bob, who were sure to bitch him out again.

“So I was just telling Bob,” Ray started when Frank sat, “that instead of practice we should go out tonight. Like get pizza or-”

“Score some booze,” Bob interrupted, and Frank high-fived him to Ray’s obvious displeasure.

“That’s not what I was going to say, dickwad.” Ray said, voice even higher than usual in his distress.

“Anyways, Frank, you should invite Gerard.”

Frank thought for a moment. He hadn’t managed to talk to Gerard all that much during lunch, so this seemed like an easy way to get more time with him. “Okay, sounds like a plan,” he said just as their teacher shushed them and started her lesson. Once her attention was diverted, Frank continued to whisper. “We should invite Pete and the guys, too.”

“Not Otter,” Bob growled, his blonde eyebrows pinched together.

“Oh get over yourself, Bryar,” Ray mumbled, but it was already silently agreed that Matt wouldn’t be coming.

School was let out, and Frank looked for Gerard by the stairs, but didn’t see any messy, dark- haired boys. Ray and Bob even waited while Frank ducked his head back into the school’s doors and looked down a couple hallways.

“No luck,” Frank said when he met back up with them. “I don’t even have his number so I can’t invite him that way.”

“Well next ti-” Ray started, but Frank was gone, hurtling down the stairs three at a time. “Well then,” Ray finished lamely to Bob.

“Gee! Gerard! Stop! Wait,” Frank yelled as he got to the bottom of the stairs. Gerard was halfway across the parking lot, getting into the blue Range Rover from a few days ago. Frank waved his arms and continued to shout Gerard’s name until he was only a few feet from the car.

Gerard had gotten back out of the car and waited with a grin on his face as Frank unceremoniously caught his breath. “Dude,” Frank wheezed, “You don’t have to run off after the bell! We’ve been looking for you,” he motioned over to where Ray and Bob were walking toward them.

“Oh, sorry,” Gerard said sheepishly. “My ride wasn’t late for once, so I thought I’d take advantage of it.”

“You keep your mouth quite, Gerard! I am never late,” came a girl’s voice from inside the Range Rover. Gerard grinned.

Frank wiped his hair back from his forehead and said, “Well to get to the point, we’re going out tonight, and Ray wanted me to invite you.”

Gerard’s smile didn’t dim exactly, but it changed minutely. “Ray? Oh, okay. Yeah, I’d love to hang out,” he said.

Frank jumped up and down a bit and grinned, “Okay, come over to my house in a couple hours, then.”
Gerard nodded then waved goodbye, just as Ray and Bob walked up. They waved back as the Range Rover pulled away.

“He’s coming,” Frank said, but only Ray was listening. Bob had his eyes glued to the retreating car.

“The kid has like the same two outfits, but his family owns a Range Rover,” Bob muttered.

“Maybe he’s like you, Bryar, and he spent all his money on a shitty drum set from Craigslist,” Frank laughed as they made their way back to their own cars.

Bob cracked a smile, and punched Frank’s arm. “Only half of that’s true, shrimp. That drum set is pure gold, though, and you know it.”

Frank fake pouted at the hit, then batted his eyelashes, “It’s only gold when you play it, Bobby,” he said.

Before Bob could snap and grab at Frank, the other boy was bouncing away between the cars, leaving behind only a ghost of his high giggle.