Where the Wind Blows

2 WEEKS LATER

Ever since Alice had called Harry telling her she aced her exam, they had met or talked at least every day. He was generally very busy and so was she, but he stopped by the bar most nights and they hung around the bookshop on the weekends. During this time, Alice felt that they had become very close; she felt like she had known him her entire life. And he had told her just as much.

They discussed the life of a pop star, and how he and the other boys dealt with day-to-day life. He said how he loved the fans and the rush he got while performing on stage, but how he was scared about what would happen once the band ends. They discussed each boy and their personalities, and how Alice was to meet them when they were all back in London in a few months time.

Harry told her about Niall’s girlfriend Lyra Gordon, and how he was head over heals in love with her, just like Zayn was with Perrie, Louis was with Eleanor, and Liam was with Danielle. They didn’t talk about Presley, Harry’s girl, until about a week after her exam.

They had been at the bookshop drinking tea and talking when Harry got a text from her. He looked sad when he read it and Alice had been too concerned to ignore it. Her heart tightened when she saw the pain in his eyes, and she was shocked about how angry it made her.

Harry had sighed and said, “Presley’s staying in Australia for a few more months. She’s a top designer there and I haven’t seen her but twice in six months.” Alice felt horrible; Harry obviously really liked this girl and she wasn’t giving him the time of day. He looked across the table into her blue eyes, and said, “I don’t know what about her captivated me. She’s beautiful and graceful and smart, but the boys don’t like her. I understand she’s not always nice, but I think she’s really sweet. I’ve never met anyone like her before.”

Suddenly, Alice felt like someone was squeezing her heart in stomach and it was hard to breath. She felt uneasy and realized in a quick second that she was jealous. She wanted to make Harry happy but Scarlet had that chance instead and she was doing right job of fucking it up. But Alice knew that she could never be with Harry, he was happy with Presley and she was a nobody who was lucky to call Harry her friend. So she pushed the jealously down and willed it to stay away.

Now, only a few days after discussing Presley, Alice was hauling herself out of her small bed in her small room. She couldn’t focus. She thought about Harry and Presley and how jealous she was and how bad she felt about it. She had let herself get too close to Harry when he wasn’t available for that sort of connection.

Grabbing her books and getting dressed, she cursed herself for sleeping in. She didn’t know why, but something felt off about today and everything was going wrong. She wore ripped jeans, a striped long sleeve shirt and ankle boots. Throwing on her brown coat, she all but ran to class.

Business, business, and more business. In truth, Alice hadn’t wanted to major in it. She wanted to be an English teacher, but business was what her father had wanted. So of course she had done it; out of remorse or guilt she didn’t know. But she was there and that was all that mattered.

Then finally her last class. She couldn’t recall the name or what she had learned. All she was doing was watching the clock tick toward 4:30. Tick-tock-tick-tock...and finally! She rushed out of class, smashing into someone as she went, her books flying everywhere. As she went to pick them up, she saw her planner; it had fallen open to the day’s date. It stared into her, big black letters gnawing at the fragile strings holding her together on that hallway floor.

OCTOBER 26TH

The day. The day that everything changed. The day she lost her parents and everything she knew had changed.

She crammed her books into her bag, lost and frenzied. Running all the way back to the bar, she ignored Stephen’s greeting to her and rushed to her room. Dropping everything on the floor, she froze. One year. A whole year on her own. Deserves a celebration, she thought bitterly. But she wouldn’t cry. She vowed to keep it together, go downstairs to work and live on.

Changing for work, she threw on her jeans and black t-shirt, whipping her hair into a ponytail as she did so. Meeting the early evening rush at the bottom of the stairs, she dove into her work. Being polite, pouring beer, earning tips. All business, absolutely no pleasure. Her face set into a permanent mask, plastering on a smile to hide the pain. No one knew.

By 2:30 am the bar was empty. Stephan had gone to bed and Alice was all alone. Looking at the deserted bar, she realized how alone she really was. Finally losing it, she threw her towel on the counter and slid down the wall to meet the floor. She cried and cried and cried, letting a year’s worth of tears out. Her sobs echoed and she didn’t hear the bell sound as a customer came in. She didn’t see his surprised face and how it quickly turned worried as he rushed to her.

She knew it was Harry as soon as he walked in. They had been around each other enough that she knew what he smelled like: expensive cologne and fresh laundry. As she cried, he sat down next to her but she could feel his hesitation. He was being cautious, sitting close but not too close. Finally he lost the internal battle and took her in his arms, pulling her close. She welcomed the comfort and cried onto his shirt, breathing in his comforting scent.

Eventually pulling away, she wiped her eyes, not bothering to ask who he was. She already knew.

“Thanks,” she said. Then, “On no! Harry I got your shirt all wet!” He chuckled and said, “No worries, really. I don’t really like this shirt anyway.” She knew he was being nice, because the Ramones shirt he was wearing was a favorite of his.

She knew she owed him an explanation, and it was about time she told him after all he had shared with her.

“It was one year ago today.” He didn’t push; he simply stayed silent and took her hand, squeezing it. In that squeeze he conveyed that she could trust him, though she knew she could from the moment they met. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

“I remember waking up that morning with a feeling of dread. Not to be cliché, but I knew something bad was going to happen. I assumed that it would be something expected, like my cat dying. But anyway, it was a normal Saturday, nothing to do. The only thing strange about it was the weather. It was a cloudless, windless day. I remember thinking of it was ‘the calm before the storm.’

“My parents had planned to talk a small trip. Just to Wisconsin. A few hours drive from our house outside of Chicago. They wanted a romantic weekend. But they had been delayed, as my mom had gotten sick and had not felt well enough to travel on the scheduled departure day. So they were going to leave that afternoon.

“I had been stressed out that day and kept yelling at my mom. I was trying to work out colleges at the time but I was stuck. My dad wanted me to go to London School of Business, but I wasn't sure I wanted to go overseas.

“After a screaming match with my mom, dad said it was time to go. Before she got in the car, she said to me, “Alice, all I want for you is to go to a good school and meet a good guy and be happy.”...

“So they drove away and...” She buried her face in his shoulder as she felt the tears come back. He gently stroked her hair as she took a deep breath.

“They drove away and I want inside. When their car was out of sight, it started to rain. Pretty soon, it was pouring. The power flickered on and off and the house rumbled with thunder. I turned on the news, not quite sure if I wanted to see it. I didn’t. I remember the headline of the story: “MASSIVE CRASH NORTH OF CHICAGO.” I watched and waited, but somehow I already knew.

“I sat in shock, watching the TV but seeing nothing. I don’t know how long after the broadcast, the knock came. I don’t really remember much after that. Condolences, a funeral. I finished senior year as normally as I possibly could. Then I had graduated and next thing I knew I was at my grandma’s house, ready to leave again. Enrolled in LBS, ready to move in upstairs. And here I am now, with you, on the floor crying.

She sighed a sat up, but kept his hand in hers. With his carefree one, he reached up and swiped some stray tears off her cheeks. He looked at her and she saw pain felt for her swimming in his eyes. She knew he cared. Someone cared about her. It was a nice feeling. But she quickly looked away from his green orbs as she remembered he had a girlfriend.

“Alice, I’m so sorry.” That was all he said, but the sincerity behind it made her sigh and she knew that was all she needed.

Sitting on the floor, Harry just stared at her. She felt her face flush, and cursed her pale complexion, showing every time she blushed as clear as day. In the midst of the silence, Harry began to sing. Alice had heard his voice on the radio before, but up close it was completely different. Low and soothing, he sang beautifully. She didn’t know the song, but vowed to ask him someday.

“I fell in love next to you
Burning fires in this room
It just fits
Light and smooth
Like my feet in my shoes”

She was closer and closer to sleep, his voice floating around in her head. It was deep and husky and beautiful and she imagined nothing would ever sound better to her again.

“Little One, lie with me
Sew your heart to my sleeve
We’ll stay quiet
Underneath shooting stars
If it helps you sleep”

Alice liked Harry. She knew that much. She also knew that she wanted this to continue, whatever this was, even with Presley in the picture. Being friends with Harry was better than nothing, she decided. But for now, she wanted to stay in that moment, right then, forever.

He sang her to sleep. Looking at her sleeping form in his arms, Harry remembered Presley. Frowning, he realized that she didn’t make him feel this way and he never sang to her like he sang to Alice just now. Trying not to think too much and ruin his good mood, he began to doze off with Alice in his arms.