Silence Says

Warning: Sex stuff. Of course.

Toby had already been awake for a little over four hours, sitting curled up at the end of the sofa with his laptop, covered in and surrounded by the purring mass of their latest litter of foster kittens, when Noah emerged from the bedroom. Noah’s hair was wet from the shower, but he was dressed only in boxer briefs that hugged his body in a way pleasing enough to draw Toby's attention away from his work. Just for a moment, though, and then he focussed back on the code on the screen in front of him. If he let himself get distracted now, this would all fall apart. He had it all laid out perfectly in his mind.

The kittens stirred, mewing their demands for second breakfast, as Noah leant down and placed a kiss on the top of Toby's head, his minty toothpaste breath washing over Toby. He didn't question what Toby was doing up so early. It wasn't the first time Toby had woken up in the middle of the night, suddenly struck by inspiration he couldn't ignore. "How's it going?"

"I broke it," Toby said without looking up.

"Broke it?" Noah asked as he moved towards the kitchen area that took up the corner of the living room in their apartment, kittens toppling off the edge of the sofa in their rush to follow him. Years ago, Toby might have had to spare energy to check if Noah was concerned about the game being broken, but these days Noah was the one person it took Toby little effort to read.

"Well, it was already broken," Toby explained. "Just less broken. Now it's more broken, and I'm going to make it not broken at all."

"Right," Noah said, a chuckle in his voice. "Have you had breakfast?"

"Not time for breakfast," Toby murmured, then glanced at the clock in the corner of his laptop screen. "Oh. Well, it wasn't time for breakfast. Before."

"Cereal?"

"Mmm."

"You coming into the office today?" Noah asked as he opened the fridge.

Toby shook his head. "I'll send this in. Then... nap."

A year ago Noah had completed his business degree, and he'd put a chunk of his inheritance towards founding a small gaming company. There had never been any doubt that his choice of business had more to do with Toby's interests than his own, but Noah had explained that it was more than just an act of kindness. He had faith in Toby's creativity and programming skills and thought giving him what he needed to put them to good use was a sound investment.

So far, Toby had to admit he had been right. They were no competition for the big gaming companies, of course, but so far the simple games put together by their small team had proven pretty successful. Toby was sure this next one would do even better, just as soon as they got all the bugs taken care of for release.

A bowl of cereal descended down in front of him, and Toby took it wordlessly. He scooped a spoonful into his mouth and chewed as his eyes skimmed endless lines of code. He found the spot he needed, pasted in the section he'd been tweaking, and ran the program. Success. Or at least it didn't instantly crash back to the desktop, which was an improvement.

Noah moved around the apartment, getting ready for work, and though they were each doing their own thing Toby had to admit he felt less alone than he had when Noah had still been asleep. Toby had always valued his alone time, but over the years he’d become more and more fond of having Noah nearby.

A tiny paw extended slowly towards his bowl while he was distracted, but Toby managed to pull his cereal away before he got kitten foot in his food. The look the little seal point kitten gave him made it clear she thought he was a monster.

Noah gave Toby another kiss on the head and told him to have fun, but it wasn't until ten minutes later when Toby noticed the silence that he realised Noah had left for work. He felt a momentary pang of guilt before the game promptly distracted him by freezing up. He forced a shut down and went back to the code.

It was around lunchtime by the time everything seemed to be running smoothly, so Toby sent the revised code to Noah and went to make himself a sandwich. As Toby passed by the huge windows that took up most of the far wall, he stared out over the ocean. It was a still, sunny day, and the water was a particularly stunning blue. This was the same apartment Noah had moved into after leaving his father’s house when he’d turned eighteen, but now Toby lived here too.

Being a foster kid, Toby had always dreaded the day he would turn eighteen. Sure, the family he’d ended up with had cared about him and never would have just tossed him out as soon as he aged out of the system, but he’d always felt anxiety around the fact that they would have no real obligation towards him. There were other services, of course, support for people with disabilities, but he was well aware he would be getting a lot less assistance in everyday living.

By the time it actually came to his eighteenth birthday, though, Toby had been looking forward to being a legal adult so that he could move in with Noah. He loved his foster parents and still visited them regularly, but he felt like he’d truly found a place he belonged with Noah. He saw his psychiatrist every few months, but it was mostly just to monitor his medication. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a problem he and Noah couldn’t sort out together.

Toby sat at the kitchen counter to eat, and as he was taking his first bite of his sandwich his phone buzzed to alert him to a new text from Noah.

Thanks, the text said, quickly followed by one that said, Karen won't let me send you pics of my genitals to thank you for your hard word and commitment. A third text read, I told her she just doesn't understand gay culture.

Toby smiled and shook his head, taking another bite of his sandwich as he tapped out a response. Thank me tonight.

How shall I thank you?

Pizza is always good.

Pizza it is :)

Toby yawned between mouthfuls of sandwich. Wake me if I'm still asleep. Going to nap now.

After brushing his teeth, Toby fell into bed exhausted but satisfied. He'd managed to fix the problems they were having. More would definitely crop up before they were done, but for now they could move forward. He curled up on Noah's side of the bed, breathing in the smell of him, and drifted off to sleep.

Toby had remembered to shut the bedroom door before going to bed so he didn't wake up covered in kittens, but their pitiful cries still pulled him out of sleep. He heard the sound of cat food being poured into a bowl as Noah’s adult cats joined in the chorus and didn't bother moving. Noah was home.

Noah entered the room on a wave of pizza smells, shutting the door behind him before the kittens got any ideas. He left the bedroom light off, but the sun wasn’t quite down yet and there was still enough light coming in through the windows for him to navigate by. Toby had cracked his eyes open and rolled onto his back by the time Noah climbed onto the bed, setting the pizza boxes aside. Toby groped around until he found the switch for the lamp on the bedside table, then blinked his eyes to get used to the dim light it gave off.

"Good day today," Noah said, leaning over Toby and pressing a kiss to his temple. "Things are going much more smoothly now you've gotten us past that little glitch."

Toby sat up and stretched out his arms in front of him. He still felt sleepy, but not in a bad way. Floppy and snuggly as opposed to grumpy and irritable. Noah sat down beside him and retrieved the pizza, and Toby leant heavily against his side.

As they ate, Noah recounted the day's progress, though he was clearly just reciting the information second hand and didn't quite know what he was talking about. He was a manager, not a programmer or a gamer. He believed in the project, he was enthusiastic to see it taking shape, but he didn't have the deep understanding of it that Toby and the others actually working on it did.

Noah had taken the time to get someone to give him details he didn't really need, though, and to memorise minutiae he had no real interest in. He was the best boyfriend.

After Noah was finished recapping, Toby explained the details of what he had done. He knew Noah didn't have the background to understand what he was saying, but they both knew that didn't matter. Toby just wanted to talk about something that fascinated him. Noah made all the right interested sounds, and the fond smile on his face suggested he enjoyed, rather than simply tolerated, Toby's enthusiasm.

As soon as they were done eating and the pizza boxes had been moved to the floor, Noah tugged his shirt off over his head, slung it across the room, and flopped down onto the bed, stretching out in a way that made his muscles flex enticingly. The smile Noah gave Toby told him he had something in mind, but he stayed where he was and let Toby make the first move.

It was more a compulsion than an effort at seduction that drove Toby to run his hand down the flat surface of Noah's stomach. He just couldn't resist the feel of it, soft and firm with a trail of course hair leading down from his navel. Noah let out a long breath and shifted as he flicked open the button on his jeans.

Toby hadn't bothered changing out of his T-shirt and boxer combo after getting up in the middle of the night, and he was still wearing them now. Typically he didn’t bother putting on proper clothes unless he was leaving the house, even when he did sleep normal hours. He just didn't understand why anyone would choose to change into less comfortable clothing when nobody was around to object. Noah certainly never minded, as he claimed Toby’s ass looked — and felt — quite nice covered only by the thin fabric of satin boxers. Noah himself, however, was usually more inclined to go to the trouble of getting dressed and then casually shed his shirt for no reason other than to get Toby's attention.

Toby took his own shirt off when Noah ran a hand up under it, because Noah seemed to enjoy his naked torso for some strange reason. Toby was twenty two now, and while his body had grown generally larger and more adult over the years he was still basically scrawny and pale. Noah, who was definitely neither, had never once indicated he minded.

Leaning over Noah, Toby bit down on the meaty part of his upper arm, swiping his tongue out to taste Noah's skin. Salty. Too concentrated to be sweat, though. Toby guessed Noah had gone for a walk on the beach during his lunch break. He found a spot on the softer underside of Noah’s arm and sucked until he raised tiny red dots on his skin.

It had never taken much to get Noah's libido interested, which was good because the closest Toby generally came to seduction was bodily exploration focussed mostly on satisfying his own curiosity about the current state of the man he lived with, his taste and his texture, how he felt beneath fingers and teeth. Noah, on the other hand, was all about strategy and skill.

He rolled over and pressed Toby down on the bed, leaning half over him as he kissed him with closed lips the way Toby liked for a few seconds before trailing kisses down his neck, onto his chest. He brushed his lips over Toby's nipple, brief, soft contact because he knew Toby was too sensitive there for much more to be comfortable, and continued down his stomach.

By the time Noah ventured lower Toby was fully hard, his cock tenting his boxers and pressed up against the button to show a glimpse of needy pink flesh. Noah mouthed at it teasingly through the fabric, adding his saliva to the damp spot that had already begun to form.

Once he tugged Toby's boxers off and freed him to the open air, though, he stuck to using his hand. A few years ago, when they had both still been teenagers, they'd started venturing into oral sex and quickly discovered Toby had some issues with it. He'd tried it out on Noah exactly once, but found the taste and texture of genitals and the resulting bodily fluids didn't mesh well with his sensory issues.

It had almost ended in tears for Toby, but then so had a routine trip to the dentist and the persistent noisiness of a neighbour doing yard work that same month. For Toby, it had been nothing more than a sensory shock to his system that had momentarily distressed him. Upsetting, but something he was used to experiencing as a normal part of existing. The whole event had unsettled Noah for far longer, and he'd made it clear he had no issues with Toby never trying it again.

Toby didn't particularly like the taste of semen in general, either, including his own when Noah kissed him after sucking him off, which was why Noah was avoiding putting his mouth directly on Toby now. Toby had stumbled upon something online months after telling Noah of his aversion that suggested this was apparently considered rude and selfish, but when he asked Noah he said he cared more about Toby being comfortable and enjoying himself than about blowjob etiquette.

So these days, Noah only used his mouth when he planned on ending things that way. As he was avoiding that now, Toby guessed he had something else in mind. Noah's fingers, creeping beneath Toby's balls and pressing down on his perineum, were a definite clue. Toby spread his legs and shifted to give Noah better access. This was an idea he could get behind.

When they were younger, Noah had always made a point of asking before he did anything, often more than once. That wasn't exactly a bad thing since Toby was completely inexperienced when they first started doing things, and it wasn't always easy to predict how he would respond to different kinds of touch, but it had been generally distracting. Toby had never been that great at words, and focussing on sex and conversation at the same time meant that his performance in both suffered.

These days Noah usually just moved slowly, making his intent clear and giving Toby an opportunity to object. He knew by now that if something made Toby uncomfortable, he wouldn’t keep quiet about it.
Toby had no objections to where Noah's fingers were currently venturing or what they were doing, though the gentle external brush and rub was quickly becoming not enough. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube left out on the nightstand and tossed it to Noah, hoping he would take a hint and make good use of it.

Noah gave him a grin and an upwards shift of his eyebrows as he pulled the fly down on his jeans before flicking open the bottle of lube. Toby made a face as Noah squirted some of it onto his fingers. He hated the feeling of lube on his hands, and just the sight of it on Noah’s made him wriggle his fingers with discomfort. Luckily he didn't mind it so much on other parts of his body, at least not when there were other things going on to distract him.

By the time Noah pressed a finger into him, Toby was more than ready. These days Toby had more or less mastered the art of relaxing himself on command, but Noah still liked to take his time with preparations. Toby bit down on the back of his hand as Noah pressed a second finger in, slowly sliding them in and out as he stretched Toby open.

The first time they tried this had also very nearly been their last. With Toby's body unused to the invasion it had been uncomfortable, and it had taken him a long time to get off. Noah had kept asking him if he wanted to stop and afterwards had suggested they not do it again, but the pleasure Toby had experienced had been intriguing enough that he didn't want to give up so quickly. Noah stuck to using fingers for a while, slowly getting Toby used to being penetrated, and when they tried again a few weeks later things went far better.

"Condom?" Noah requested, reaching out his free hand and wiggling his fingers at Toby. While Toby twisted to search through the nightstand drawer, Noah's fingers slipped out of him and he began to tug his jeans off.

They'd gotten into the habit of buying the big sampler variety boxes of condoms, which were excellent and fun until they began to run low and every time Toby drew one at random he ended up with the banana flavoured kind he refused to use. Noah claimed he could barely smell them, but they scent reminded Toby of those horrible banana things that came in the mixed bags of candy one of his foster mums had bought him from the convenience store each week when he was little. He'd gotten it into his head that he had to eat every piece if he wanted her to keep buying them for him, so he'd force down the banana shaped grossness every time. He did not want to associate either of their genitals with that.

Toby emptied the box out onto the bed, tossed Noah the first non-banana condom he saw, and scooped the rest back into the box.

By the time Toby looked back up, Noah was completely naked. His cock stood out at a right angle from his body, defying gravity, as he knelt between Toby's legs. He held up the very purple condom Toby had thrown at him and waggled it between his fingers. "We're about to have gay sex, and yet somehow I think this will still manage to make it just that little bit gayer."

"Good," Toby said, and then after a moment too long remembered to smile. He doubted Noah would misunderstand, but Toby had on occasion been accused of sounding angry when he wasn't at all, especially when he was distracted. Smiling seemed to prevent any confusion.

Noah echoed the smile automatically as he ripped open the condom wrapper. Toby's bit his lip against a laugh as Noah rolled the condom on, turning his cock a bright purple. Somehow it still managed to be sexy. Toby made a face again as Noah slicked the condom with lube, glad it wasn't his hands getting covered in the stuff.

As Noah inched forward and aligned himself, his gaze flicked between what he was doing and Toby's face. Toby gave him a fractional nod, and Noah began to slowly press forward.

There was discomfort at first, as there always was, the natural response of a body being asked to do something it wasn't naturally designed for. There was also anticipation, though, a knowledge of what was to come that had Toby pressing back against him, encouraging him deeper. With the first brush of pleasure came a reflexive moan Toby had neither the desire nor the ability to hold back. Noah gave him a grin, but it came out tight beneath the intensity of his focus.

For the first few minutes Noah moved slowly, pulling out and inching fractionally deeper each time he pushed back in. He watched Toby's face and kept his touch simple so as not to overwhelm him, a kiss to his knee, a hand stroked firmly over his thigh. At times when their positions were reversed, Toby had to admit he was nowhere near as conscientious. Noah never seemed to mind, though.

Toby didn't need to tell him when he was ready for more. The way he was pressing back against Noah's cock with every thrust, tiny sounds escaping his mouth as he bit down on his lip, made it clear enough. Noah pressed himself down against Toby and brought their mouths together, sucking Toby's lower lip out from between his teeth and giving it a nip with his own.

Toby liked the feeling of Noah above him, skin against skin, the weight of another human body on top of him as they moved together. He felt vulnerable, exposed, but also safe and loved, Noah's body shielding and claiming him at the same time. They were connected, deeply and intimately, as aware of one another as they were of their own bodies. Noah hit just the right spot and Toby grabbed for his ass, pulling him in hard to give extra force to his next thrust. A curse toppled out of Noah's lips with the harsh breath he exhaled against Toby's neck.

Noah grazed his teeth over Toby's neck, biting down not quite hard enough to hurt, then moved on to give the same treatment to his shoulder. Toby wrapped his arms around Noah's back, hugging their bodies together. With each thrust Noah's stomach rubbed against Toby's cock, bringing him closer to the edge. They'd found Toby could eventually come purely by getting fucked, but expecting Noah to last long enough to make that happen was usually out of the question.

There was something that really turned Toby on about Noah coming inside him, even though the condom provided a barrier, so when he felt himself getting close he tightened his muscles around Noah and scratched his short fingernails down Noah's back. He wasn't a master of sexual strategy like Noah was, but he knew a few tricks.

Noah's breath caught as his hips hitched forward sharply, a stutter in his carefully controlled rhythm.
"Toby," Noah exhaled into Toby's ear as their movements sped. "Fuck. Love you so much."

The only sounds that escaped Toby's lips were purely involuntary, driven out of him with each thrust as he dug fingers into Noah's shoulders. He was completely incapable of forming words, but Noah knew that by now and didn't let the lack of reciprocation bother him as they both desperately sought completion.

Toby felt his muscles tightened and pleasure flood through him and he heard Noah swear as he thrust in deep and clutched at Toby's shoulders. For a moment everything felt amazing and he held onto Noah tightly, wishing he could melt into him. Toby made a quiet sound of satisfaction as every muscle in his body that had tightened slowly relaxed, leaving him tired and content.

Noah let out a groan of exhaustion as he forced himself to sit up and take care of the condom. Toby flailed blindly in the direction of the nightstand until he found tissues, then half-heartedly wiped himself off. Soon the sweat and the lube and the traces of semen left on him would drive him to the shower to clean off properly, but for these few minutes all he wanted to do was lay next to Noah and pretend this bedroom was the only place that existed.

Noah collapsed down on the bed with a sigh, his body hot and slightly damp with sweat at Toby’s side. As they settled in Toby’s eyes fell shut, and he listened to the steady inhale and exhale of Noah’s breathing. They were two very different guys and they didn’t always understand one another, but at times like these everything felt perfect.