I'm Just a Could've Been, Would've Been.

"So then ill see you tomorrow then?" I tried my best to smile. I could see on his face it came off weird.

"Tell Colleen to come too. It be rad if yeh' guys made it." Corey smiled and nodded than left with Lee. I exhaled the breath I was holding once he left. It had been five days since I've seen or talked to Oli. I've had plenty of visitors coming to my house asking for me to talk to him but I've yet to talk to anyone really since Colleens been sending them away one after the other. Corey and Lee had come over this morning to discuss the show tonight. I was nervous about facing him. She finally let Corey in because he was technically my boss for the time being. He invited us to an after party for the secret show. The day pretty much flew by. I was getting ready for the show. I pulled on a cozy black sweater with some tight jeans and some boots. I pulled on a red beanie and sloutched it in the back. I was grabbing my camera supplies when I heard a male voice downstaires. Curious, I peeked over the staires to see Vegan and Colleen lip locked in a kiss. I smirked and snapped a picture making both of them jump from my flash.

"Wha' the bloody fuck was that!?" Vegan scretched pulling her closer to him. I started laughing histerically before I bounced down the staires joining Vegan and Colleen in the warm car. We soon met up with everyone else at the back of the venue. They were warming up, Matt was drumming on the wall and Vegan were doing finger warm ups for their guitars with Jona. Oli was sipping on water. I spotted Oli almost instantly. His eyes had dark circles underneith and his face looked pale. His hair was in different directions and his eyes looked lifeless. I was on my way to the bar when something made me want to rip my ears out of my head.

"Oli!"A girl shrieked trying to get his attention, I eyed her in disgust. He threw me a glare before getting up to allow security to bring her back stage. She was slender with long hair. She clung to his arm like a leech. I sighed taking out my camera to get ready for the show. I heard my name being called faintley. I cocked an eyebrow turning my head towards the voice.

"Hey!" I saw James coming over to the gated area calling my name. I smiled walking over to him. He looked better than when I had seen him the other day. I also noticed Oli watching me walk towards James.

"Hey there." I gave him a side hug awkwardly.

"What are you doing here?" There werent many people since it was a secret show to leak some of their new album.

"Well my friend likes one of the bands s' I came. Then I saw yeh' over here an' couldn't resist." He grinned showing his perfect teeth. I felt myself blush.

"So my friends having a party tomorrow, you should come." I fidgited with my camera for a bit before looking back up at him. I met his eyes and smiled slightly. He was leaning over the gate with his arms crossed smiling at me.

"I'd love to." I nodded and invited him to meet me after the show by the cars. He gave me a peck on the cheek before I left to take my spot back at the stage. I noticed Oli giving me a weird look before jumping on stage. The show went on well until the end when Oli started jumping and acting a little weird. I looked over at Corey who seemed concerned to see Oli smashing the mic stand. After his fiasco he walked off stage with his head down. The guys all looked shocked at what their band mate had done. I looked over at Colleen whom already had out her car keys, I nodded and we headed towards the car with the rest of the guys.

After finally getting past fans we were standing in a circle next to Vegans car when I spotted James.

"James!" I called making everyones heads snap towards the tall slender boy coming our way. I heard a scoff before I turned around to introduce James.

"Everyone this is James." I smiled looking up at him. Jona was the first to come up and shake his hand smiling. Then came Vegan, Colleen, Matt and Lee came to greet James. I looked over to see Oli playing on his phone uninterested.

"Oi dont mind him, Thats Oli hes jus' bein' a bloke." Matt laughed pointing over to him. We talked for a while before Corey broke the news about the party the next night which everyone seemed for it. They had people who they wanted Colleen and I to meet as well. They boys started to leave as well as James.

"S' i'll see yeh' tomorrow then?" He smiled his breath visable from the cold air. I nodded smiling texting him my address.

"See you then." I smiled breathing out smoke. He leaned down to peck me on the cheek making my knees slightly weak. I tunred around to see Oli glaring at me. After James was out of ears range I was ready to adress Oli.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I sneered at him. He smirked.

"Nothin' princess." I havent heard him call me that since I was on tour. I rolled my eyes putting out my cigarette.

"Why were you so rude? whats up with you latley?" I asked walking closer to him. I was inches away from his body but he seemed so far away still. Almost as if his mind was far gone. He shrugged.

"Dunno. Maybe yeh' should mind yeh' own buisness for a change." Was all he said before getting in his car and driving off leaving me alone outside Vegans car. I grunted before pulling open the backseat door and plopping down onto the back seat.

"S' alrigh' Aurora, yeh' know how he is. Hes jus' upset cause yeh' found a guy friend." Vegan said before he turned towards me making Colleen laugh. I rolled my eyes and pulled down my beanie.

"Why is this so hard?" I groaned not exspecting an answer. The car ride was short, Colleen flipped through most of the radio channels before we arrived home. I walked inside to rummage through my cupboards to see how much liqour we had to buy tomorrow. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I opened it while rubbing my eyes.

Hey. It was nice to see you tonight.

I smiled. I texted James back while I climbed onto the counter. I heard Colleen come in to the kitchen tapping her feet. I glanced away from my phone to see a questionable look on her face. I cocked an eyebrow at her before returning to texting James.

"Rore." She muttered sitting at the counter. I felt her eyes boring into my skull before I put down the phone finally looking at her.

"What?" I said monotoned.

"I just want you to be careful of this James guy. It just doesnt feel right." She fidgited with her fingers.

"I can handle myself. Hes just a friend its not that big of a deal." I rolled my eyes hopping off the counter.

"Well Vegan and I were just talkig to Ol-"

"Stop. I dont want to hear it. Okay? Stay out of my buisness." I sneered before retreating to my bedroom. I didnt want to deal with everybody bugging me.

The next morning I woke up early. I got ready and dressed before going out to the liqour store. I texted James to see if he wanted to get a coffee. Which he gladly accepted. I walked out of the liqour store to find him smoking leaning against the meter waiting for me. He looked good. His hair was slightly damp and he was wearing a leather jacket. He put out his spliff throwing me a smile which made my knees weak. He took the bags of liqour and handed me a coffee. Oli wouldve never taken my bags. He wouldve laughed at me struggling. The only time I can remember he did was when I first met him on the bus.

"I hope yeh' dont mind that I went ahead an' got yeh' a coffee."

"No its fine thanks." I said stirring the coffee around. He sat down on the bench next to the store patting the spot beside him.

"S' yeh' stoked for this thing?" I nodded preparing myself for it. After I finished my coffee we walked towards my house. On the way I showed him where Coreys was before reaching mine and unlocking the door, pushing it open. I came home to Colleen running around and Matt, Vegan, Lee, Jona, and Corey sitting on my couch. They all looked up from Colleen's spaz attack. I greeted them as well as James did. I scanned the room to see if Oli was around too

"Hes gunna meet us there.." Jona smiled at me. James placed the bags on the counter before awkwardly standing next to me.I rolled my eyes opening up some rum and taking a couple swings before I started to get the ready. I showed James around the house before we all were ready to walk over to Coreys. We showed up to at least 100 people were spread throughout Coreys house. Some I didn't know and others that I'd pass on tour. Others were in the backyard talking and some playing beer pong. James and I found Corey and his girlfriend talking with some people.

"Hey Corey." I smiled giving him and his girlfriend hugs. James greeted Corey with a handshake. We thanked him for inviting us before retreating the backyard to grab some beers and sit with the others.

"Princesssss." Matt called, obviously already drunk. I hugged him carfeully not to spill my beer.

"Everfing go alrigh' the otha' day? yeah?" Matt slurred. I blushed replaying everything in my head. Jona gave me a questionable look but I ignored it.

I was listening to Lee talk about some story when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see James smiling down at me. He pecked my cheek. I noticed Lee shoot him a nasty look while I saw Colleen and Vegan walking over. I shot a glare at Lee then I dragged James inside with me to get another beer. I was stumbling into the house with James when something caught my eye. I noticed Oli had finally showed up withthe same slender looking woman who had shoulder length brown hair with big blue eyes. She looked timid.Oli had his arm around her waist looking straight at me. He looked like he was coming up to talk to me but instead he passed by me pulling the girl with him to greet his friends. Colleen threw me a worried look before greeting Oliver. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to grab another beer before heading back outside. I fumbled with my lighter half our of anger and the other because I was a little drunk. I noticed James walking over and lit my cigarette. I smiled up to him.

"Seems like yeh' dont really get the concept of how to use a lighter?" I chuckled. He proceeded to light his own and blew smoke into my face. I playfully hit him as we went to sit down. There were a few people around the yard having their own conversations with one another.

"S' that's yeh' ex boyfriend or somethin'?" James suddenly asked nudging his head towards Oli. I looked over catching Oli's eyes for a second then back to James.

"No. I just toured with him." He nodded.

"S' yeh' like him then?" James wore a weird exspression when he asked me. Why was he asking me this?

"No." I simply stated before he pulled me into him. He kissed me suddenly blowing a bit of smoke into my mouth in the process. I felt a rush of lust and anger flow through me. I pulled away quickley when I heard someone walk up to us. My vision was a bit dazed until I reconagnized that mop of hair. His brown eyes almost popped out his head at the scene before him.

"Erm, Hey." I smiled waving moving back to my own seat.

"Hi I'm Jewel!" The small girl pipped up not realizing the tension. She smiled at me shaking my hand.

"HI."

I watched Oli's eyes dart back and forth from James to me.

"Hey Man." James stuck out his hand to high five him but Oli nodded towards him without saying a word. He walked back inside leaving Jewel standing awkwardly alone. She looked around before runnning back inside. I glanced back to James who had the biggest smile on his face.

"So mind telling me what the fuck that was?" I said reffering to the kiss. I inhaled smoke trying to rid myself from the tension that was still in the air.

"What? I wanted to kiss yeh' so I did." James simpley said glancing up to the sky.

"You sure it wasnt to prove a point?" I watched him smile than turn to me. His eyes sparkling.

"Well that Oli fellow seems to take a liking to yeh' or yeh' guys have had some history so I thought Id test to see how jealous hed get." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

"Well Its not like youre a bad kisser." I looked away as soon as it left my lips. I felt his hand graze my chin.

"Wanna have a little fun?" I felt my eyes widen and James threw back his head laughing.

"I didn't mean like that! I ment why dont we see how far we can stretch this to make him a little jelly? yeah?" I poundered for a minute. He did show up to my house with another girl and treated me like shit. Why not? I shrugged chugging the rest of my beer.

"Atta girl." He pecked me on the chin. After finishing our cigarettes we walked back inside. James went to use the bathroom and I walked over to the guys. Jona looked past me to James then lowered his gaze to mine. I swung back another shot noticing Oli was leaning next to Matt.

"Alrigh'?" Jona nodded. It became suddenly awkward. Lee spoke up first.

"S' is that lad from around 'ere?" I nodded feeling slightly dizzy from drinking so much. Oli looked disgusted. I glared at him hard. Who was he to even be upset that I had moved on?

"Where'd yeh' find him? An alley?" Oli smirked. Matt chuckled.

"I dont really think thats any of your buisness." I stood up straight ready for an argument. Jewel walked into the kitchen far more drunk than she had been before and bumped into me which resulted in her spilling her drink all over my shoulder. Everyone but Jona laughed at the girl. I looked at Jona in utter shock that she had even touched me.

"S-sorry love." She slurred before running over to Oli and placing a sloppy kiss on his lips which made my stomach churn. Okay maybe I'm not over him completely.