I'm Just a Could've Been, Would've Been.

"What?" I looked at him seriously. He studied my face for a few minutes before smiling.

"Jus' kiddin'. I'm gunna head out. Got work yeh' know?" He looked past me smiling. I gave him a questionable look before he leaned into me pecking me on the lips and heading out. I sat there dumbfounded for a while until I walked back inside to be interogated by a very annoyed Colleen. I rolled my eyes at her.

"What?" She stuck her nose up glaring at me.

"You should really consider some peoples feelings for once." My jaw dropped.

"What the fuck do you mean consider someones feelings? Who the fuck are you talking about." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I dont know how about the two guys your pretty much stringing along? You know I know what your plan is with James." My heart almost stopped when she yelled that.

"I dont know what your talking about, And when did you give a fuck about James? I thought you sided with Vegan?"

"Sides dont matter Aurora! Youre giving him false hope!" She stood up eye level to me.

"HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING SUGGESTED THIS WHOLE THING!" I screamed at her throwing my arms up. I heard someone clear their throat. I turned my head to see Vegan Matt and Lee standing in front of the door for god knows how long. I glared back at Colleen who was almost in tears because she was so angry. I rolled my eyes scoffing and grabbed a hoodie before I walked out the front door myself. As I was slamming the door I caught someone say "Well what the fuck is her problem?" I grunted walking down the block. I didnt know where I was going and I didnt care.

Who the fuck are they to just barge into MY house and critize ME? It was James' idea. HE was the one who wanted to start all of this. HE was the one who wanted to make Oli jealous. I ended up infront of Oli's apartment. I glared at his window. Why am I here? I walked up to the front of the apartment subconsciously before I came to my senses. I shook my head turning around.

"Oi! Who're yeh'?" I turned back around and my heart almost burst out of my chest. A boy with short brow hair almost the same color as Olis, he was a little shorter and just as skinny. He looked identical except for his piercing blue eyes. I have to admit I was starstuck for a moment before I could congure up any words.

"I said who're yeh'? I haven' seen yeh' around here eva'." He looked confused.

"M-my names Aurora. I'm uh friends with Oli." It mustve came out weird because the boy eyed me weird.

"Aurora? Like the Princess?" I mentally rolled my eyes by the comparison between this guy and Oli.

"Yeah." I fidgited with my hands. He eyed me up and down then nodded his head in the direction of Oli's apartment. I dreadfully followed him up the staires. He opened the door to reveal Oli writing in his notebook seated on the couch.

"Yo Oli, This bird 'ere says yeh' friends." Oli looked up raising his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah Tom. Shes my er friend." he met my eyes again. Tom looked back at me smiling before turning and walking out the door. I looked back at Oli who had set his book on the coffee table and was giving me a weird look.

"S' why yeh' here?" He leaned back slightly and crossed his arms in front of his chest. I rolled my eyes.

"I dont know." I glanced around the room avoiding his look.

"I didnt mean to come here, but Tom stopped me and made me come up." I said finally looking at his face which wore a smirk. He shook his head getting off the couch.

"Of course he did." He made his way over to his small kitchen.

"Yeh want somethin' to drink?" He looked into the fridge before taking out two water bottles. I took a seat at the table focusing on the old wood patternes. He sat accross from me as he passed the water bottle across the table.

"S' whats up?" He repeated for what seemed like the hundreth time. I looked up to his face. He had gotten thinner, his eyes were dull and his hair was mangled in different directions. He looked more drained then I've ever seen.

"Nothing. Hows uh, Jewel?" I started to fidgit.

"Good." He took a sip of his water.

"Hows yeh' boyfriend?" He eyed me questionably. He couldnt even say his name? I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." I didnt want us to be called that but I couldnt even put a name on it.

"I'm gunna go. I was just walking around to clear my head." I stood pushing my chair in and grabbing the water bottle.

"Well feel better I guess." He followed me to the door. I turned around ti see him leaning on the door frame.

"Dont mind Tom, he likes to stick his nose into peoples buisness." I half smiled and left. It just felt awkward like the last whole tour never happened. But thats what I wanted right? I ended up walking to James' job. He worked at a grocery store doing stock. I glanced at my phone noticing he was almost done with his shift. I leaned against his car and lit up a cigarette thinking over what had just happened. I was brought back from my thoughts when I saw James walking over to his car.

"Hey there." I called smiling. His face was pulled from depressed to extremley surprized.

"Hey." he smiled down to me. I embraced his torso since he was so tall. Something didnt seem right.

"You okay?" I looked at him he seemed worried about something.

"Yeah I'm fine." He looked down to me opening his car door for me. We drove back to my house to drop me off.

"Hey um, Jonas having another party tonight do you wanna come?"

"Is Oli goin'?" he pipped up. I nodded and he smiled.

"Well then I guess I 'ave to righ'?" I smiled and lightly smacked his chest. I braced myself to walk inside dreading to see Colleen. When I stepped through the door there was no one home, It was clean and a note was tapped to the table.

Aurora.

Staying at Matts house.

-Colleen

I rolled my eyes at her childish ways before changing to get ready for Jona's.

James had parked in my driveway and we were heading over to Jona's. I had pulled on some black leggings with brown boots and topped with a long wool black sweater. I pulled on my beige beanie to keep me warm. Jona's was like almost every party around. A bunch of people who I didnt know and then our group. We pushed through the crowds to find Colleen, Jewel, Matt, Vegan, Jona, Serenia, Lee, and Oli. We were greeted with hellos. Colleen was still annoyed as far as I knew but she masked it well. I had been drinking my beer when I realized I was the only one standing.

"Yeh' legs gettin' tired yet?" James smirked at me. I flipped him off before chugging the rest of my beer. James pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I watched Oli's lip curl slightly from the corner of my eyes. This gave me more control then I had thought. While everyone was in their own conversations James had pulled my face towards his, I could feel eyes on us as we kissed. I had control this time. I controled how could conduct the situation. When I had pulled away I noticed that Jewel and Lee were gone and Colleen was giving me a very disapointing look. I shot back a glare before I got up to go grab another beer. I noticed Jewel talking to Lee in the kitchen, I pressed myself against the wall to get a better listen and not be found out.

"I think hes jus' stressed yeh' know?" Lee muttered

"Well I jus' don' understand why hes been so distant latley yeh' know? Ever since he came back from tour he instantly wanted to talk an' hook up. But now its like he doesn' wan' anythin' to do with me." She sighed.

"I dunno. Maybe hes jus' focusing on writin'." Lee suggested obviously awkward about the situation.

"Its like his mind is always somewhere else. I hope hes not cheatin' on me." I heard her inhale.

"Nah I don' think he is. We would know." Lee said.

"Well if yeh' hear anythin' lemme know yeah?" I saw him nod and they started to walk out of the kitchen to the deck. I silently snuck into the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Eavesdropping?" I jumped when I heard Colleen's voice. I turned around to her arms crossed over her chest and an angry exspression on her face. I shook my head at her.

"Listen I'm sorry for this morning. I took your words and thought about it okay?" I watched her exspression soften.

"I'm sorry too.I didn't mean to come off that way." I smiled at her before heading back outside to no sighn of James. I looked around the backyard but no avail.

"He left." I turned around to see Oli leaning on a tree drinking a beer.

"What do you mean he left?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I said he left. How else do yeh' want me to explain it?" He looked annoyed. I texted James before responding to Oli.

"What did you say that made him leave?" I glared at him.

"Oh like it was all my fault he fuckin' left yeah? All my fuckin' fault like always righ'?" He tossed his beer on the ground facing me.

"Yeah it is Oli! It fucking is!" I yelled at him. He grabbed some of his hair pulling it down as his hands slid down his face.

"Yeh' know wha' Aurora? I fuckin' tried so fuckin' hard to try to get to yeh' to try to make it fuckin' work. I understand I fucked up okay? I jus' wanted another fuckin' chance!" He growled at me. I rolled my eyes stepping close to him.

"You dont deserve another chance." He took a step closer to me. Our bodies were pressed against eachothers, eye to eye.

"And why dont you go to your fucking girlfriend?" He glared at me. I didnt have a single thought in my head except about him. How much I wanted to kiss him and hold him. But then I started getting flash backs to that night and I saw red.

"Fuck off Oli." I spat before pushing him away and walking towards the house. Oli had grabbed my arm pulling me back towards the tree with him.

"I jus' want yeh' to know, I didn' say nothin' to him. He left on his fuckin' own alrigh'?" he was so close I could feel his breath on my lips. I nodded before whipping back around and running towards the house. I left after saying bye to Jona in hope that James would be at my house. I arrived back to my house to an empty parking lot. I exhaled and inhaled just stairing at the vacant driveway. He really left. He fucking left me at Jona's. I sat down on the steps of my porch for god knows how long. I noticed a figure walking towards my house.

"Yeah yeah I know, it was bound to happen.You dont need to lechture me Colleen." I said as the shadow grew closer to me.

"I'm not here to lechture yeh'." I looked up to see Matt standing over me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My eyebrows shot up when he sat down next to me.

"Jus' seein' if yeh' okay." I saw him light up a joint.

"I'm Fine." I crossed my arms over my knees.

"I kno' I'm jus' lookin' out for yeh' yeh' important to all of us. We jus' didn' want yeh' to get hurt from this chav." He looked at me sympathicly.

"Dont look at me like that. I dont need pity." I lit up a cigarette.

"Yeh' know why Oli's goin' out with Jewel?" I shot him a glare inhaling smoke and shaking my head.

"He was so fucked up about loosin' yeh' he tried finding somethin' that is so opposite an' more his type S' he could try an' forget his feeling's like yeh' wanted him too." Matt was looking out towards the street. I felt my chest pound.

"Oh." Was all I could come up with.

"An' then yeh' bring some fuckin' bloke with yeh' an' yeh' all over him. How the fuck is he suppose' to get over yeh'? S' I asked him one day. If he'd rather not have yeh' 'round yeh' know? But he said if friend ship is the only thing he can get. Then he'll take it." He put out the joint glancing over to me. "I've neva' seen him so hung up in my life. S' could yeh' stop bringing James 'round? Or at least stop foolin' 'round righ' front of us?" He smiled halfheartedly before getting up and walking back to Jona's.