Flourish

Bambi keeps her eyes on her table tracing the outline of a love heart etched into her table, she keeps her head down because she is sitting in English and she is terrified to make eye contact with her teacher, Ryan talks about the work sheet his eyes roaming the room, no matter how hard he fights it they always land back on Bambi, she has not looked at him once and his heart is making weird beats and it unnerves him. Children shuffle into groups to do their work and Bambi is left alone, Ryan takes this time to study her. She begins writing her pale wrists flicking with her cursive letters. Bambi can feel his eyes on her, she can feel him willing her to stare at him. Bambi wants to, she really does but she is scared, she is so scared, Bambi is so scared of losing someone she is not even sure she has and because of that she refuses to acknowledge him.

Bambi is beautiful, not in an obvious way, her big eyes throw off her facial features but she is beautiful in a quirky way, you almost have to look at her for a while to see her beauty, she is pretty in a quiet, innocent way and Ryan is unable to look away. Ryan is good looking in an obvious way and Bambi cannot understand how such a pretty person can like her, Bambi does not think she is pretty. Bambi sees the anger of a lost childhood when she looks in the mirror, Bambi sees the sadness of a stolen innocence, Bambi is not pretty and she is scared Ryan now realizes this.

Class ends and Bambi tries to pack up fast but she cannot, Ryan is saying her name, “Alice stay behind please?” Bambi cannot refuse what the sweet voice is asking of her, so she remains sitting in her seat in the middle of the classroom while students pass her wondering what the quiet girl could have done to be held back at the end of the day. Bambi keeps her head down and Ryan waits until the last student has left before he dares speak, “About what happened Saturday” Bambi squeezes her eyes shut, she is not sure she can listen to a flimsy excuse, Bambi is not sure she can take this rejection. “I’m sorry about what happened and, I, I” Ryan stammers because he does not want to finish his sentence, he is terrified that Bambi is just waiting to tell him to leave her alone, he is terrified she has realized he is her teacher. Ryan is just terrified. “I completely understand if you just want to keep this just a student and teacher relationship” Ryan finishes because he has to, Bambi’s head snaps up and she stares at her teacher a crease on her smooth forehead,

“What?” She asks, his words do not make sense, why would Bambi want to be just a student? Her round eyes are full of confusion and Ryan can’t help but get lost in her eyes, they are hypnotizing and Ryan cannot control himself from moving closer to Bambi, sitting in the seat next to her and leaning in close enough to smell her sweet scent.

“You are so pretty” Ryan murmurs, Bambi flushes red and reaches her hand over and gently clasps Ryan’s cold fingers, her hand is warm and he skin is soft and Ryan wants to kiss her again, the urge is almost consuming but he knows he needs to wait for this young girl to be ready. Ryan wants to know Bambi before they kiss, Ryan wants Bambi to know him before they kiss, he has never felt this way before and the new feelings are a welcome change.

“I, I wanted to call you last night”

“So did I, why didn’t you?”

“I got scared” Bambi says quietly, Bambi is not sure why she finds it so easy to talk to her teacher but everything with him sees natural and easy and Bambi appreciates the natural and easy as a pleasant change.

“So did I”

“I scare you?” Bambi asks with confusion,

“No, how much I like you scares me” Bambi cannot fight the smile that brightens her face, Bambi feels pretty as Ryan stares at her with such a sweet expression, Bambi feels beautiful and she loves it. A knock at the door startles both Bambi and Ryan, Ryan pulls his hand away from Bambi and turns standing, a teacher stands in the doorway a smile on her lips,

“Oh Bambi what could you have done to get kept back?” She asks, Bambi smiles politely, her face is stinging with a flush and her hand is warm from where Ryan was touching her.

“Oh she’s not in trouble, I was just talking to her about her test” The teacher nods,

“I’m sure Mr Carter can let you go now” Bambi doesn’t want to leave her seat, she does not want to move because she feels pretty and once she leaves this room that feeling will also leave and Bambi really doesn’t want it to. Ryan nods at Bambi and she grabs her things and leaves the room, she waits at the side of the door out of sight but not hearing range,

“What can I help you with?” Ryan asks, he wants Sheila to leave so he can go find Bambi and finish talking to her,

“You are single aren’t you Ryan?” Ryan stares at the fifty year old woman in front of him and gulps,

“I’m flattered really” He says smiling slightly,

“Oh no, not me, I’m married” She says flashing a small gold band in his face, Ryan holds in a sigh of relief, Bambi giggles outside clamping her hand against her mouth the keep the sound hidden. “I have a friend and I think you two would get on like a house of cards”

“I’m not really looking to date anyone” Ryan begins trying to gracefully decline this offer,

“You aren’t dating anyone are you” Bambi’s heart stops as she waits for Ryan’s answer,

“Well, no, I guess not” Bambi bites down on her hand, Bambi is not stupid she knows Ryan and her are not together in any official capacity but hearing him saying it makes her heart hurt the tiniest bit. It is not fair and Bambi wants to stamp her feet until she gets her way like she did when she was three.

“Then you’ll meet her” Ryan pauses and tries desperately to think of any answer other than I think I’m dating my student as an excuse, he comes up empty and sheila mistakes his silence for an agreement. “Fabulous, she is meeting me for lunch here soon I’ll introduce you two” Bambi scurries behind some lockers and hides as Mrs Reynolds makes her way from the classroom, Bambi is annoyed and she hates Mrs Sheila Reynolds.

Ryan tries to understand how he just got a date he doesn’t want, he packs up his things and walks to his car, he sees Bambi sitting on the grass near the car park, she is not waiting for Ryan she just needed a minute to think, she is mad at herself because no matter how much she wants, Ryan can never explain her to the other teachers. She fingers the grass, Bambi does not pull the grass out she always hated when people did that, Bambi is scared the grass will feel pain and Bambi has felt so much pain she does not want to cause any pain ever.

“Alice” Ryan asks, she glances up from the green grass, the bright sun shines in her eyes and it hurts, Bambi has sensitive vision and Ryan is standing right near the sun,

“It hurts my eyes to look up” She explains, she is not mad at Ryan but Ryan misconstrues her self anger with anger at him, he kneels down on the grass and stares at Bambi,

“You heard?”

“Are you going to date her?” Bambi asks, she does not look at Ryan because she is scared his face will tell the truth while his lips may just sprout pretty lies,

“Look at me Alice” Bambi begrudgingly stares at her teacher, and there’s that look again, the one that makes her feel pretty and important and special and she sighs, “I do not want to date this woman, I want to date you and while it may be difficult I think you are worth it Alice” Bambi giggles and moves closer to Ryan,

“Maybe this time we should go somewhere other than your apartment”

“Sounds good” Ryan says chuckling softly with Bambi, what an odd couple they must have looked sitting on the grass outside ones school and ones work, an odd couple that seemed to fit together perfectly.