Flourish

Bambi certainly was not expecting that reaction, maybe she should have, what did she think would happen? Ryan would placidly accept her announcement, sometimes Bambi is too naive or her own good. “No” Bambi shouts standing and grabbing Ryan's arm, he turns and stares at Bambi almost like he has forgotten she is here. Ryan is not thinking properly, his anger is too strong to calm down and as much as he loves Bambi she is not going to talk him out of this, “Please” Bambi has her big eyes staring at him and he can do nothing but envelope her in a hug, he squishes her face into his chest and although Bambi is finding it hard to breath she doesn’t mind because Ryan smells like coffee and sweetness.

“I’m… I’m… God” Ryan says holding Bambi tighter

“Ryan” She says but her voice is muffled and Ryan doesn’t hear her, “I can’t breathe” Bambi says, Ryan pulls her away and apologizes quickly, he feels like such an idiot. “Are you okay?” It is almost funny that Bambi is the one making sure Ryan is okay,

“I should be asking you that” Ryan says with a sigh,

“Do you… Do you want to get out of here…? We could go a talk?” Bambi suggests, Ryan does not know how he will be able to teach after this bomb, he is barely able to think let alone control a bunch of teenagers.

“Yes please” It is funny how quickly the roles are reversed, Bambi is not leaning on Ryan but Ryan is leaning on Bambi and it is nice for Bambi to feel in control, she likes knowing Ryan needs her to stand. Bambi feels important.

*

Bambi and Ryan sit on the ground in front of a small lake at a park a far distance from the school, in an effort not to be seen together Ryan had picked Bambi up from around a corner from the school. Bambi lays back on her elbows and stares at the blue water, Ryan has so many questions but he does not want to pressure Bambi. He is not so angry anymore, he is worried about Bambi now.

“How are you?” Ryan asks, he pulls his knees to his chest and watches two ducks fight over a leaf,

“I’m okay… You?” Ryan wants to laugh that Bambi is making sure he is okay,

“I’m sorry for how I reacted… Can I ask you something?” Bambi nods, she is not really that nervous because sitting next Ryan she feels safe and she feels like maybe she can tell Ryan everything and they will be okay. “Does anyone else know?”

“No”

“Not even your parents”

“Of course not” Bambi says her eyes going wide in shock, why would she tell her parents? Why would she hurt the two people who love her unconditionally, it is an absurd thought to Bambi, Ryan finds her shock absurd. “I cannot tell them”

“Alice”

“Don’t” Bambi says quietly, “I just… I just can’t… Please don’t ask me to tell them” Ryan moves over and holds Bambi,

“It’s okay” He cooes but for the first time he met Bambi he is not sure that everything will be okay.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone?”

“Alice, I can’t promise that”

Bambi looks at Ryan with her big doe eyes, Bambi may never admit it but she knows she is manipulating Ryan but it is her secret and she is going to keep it if she wants to. “For me, please… Promise me” Ryan does not want to but he cannot say no, with a heavy heart he agrees and holds Bambi close because now more than ever he is scared of losing her.