Flourish

He has a small coffee stain on his tie, Bambi cannot stop staring at it, it is almost ruining his image of perfect professionalism, she is not sure anyone else can see it but it is staring at her almost mocking her. Bambi is not sure why she is so annoyed by this small stain, maybe it is because she hates mess, maybe it is because she likes to think her teacher is perfect, maybe it is a mixture, she is not sure nor does she really care. All Bambi wants is to wipe away the stain.

He notices the way Bambi is staring, it is not at his face but rather his shirt or tie he is not sure which and he finds himself again confused by his conflicting emotions for this young girl, in one sense she is just a pupil whose passion he wishes to share but in another she is sweet and pretty and her hair that smells like honey and she has this small smile when she speaks of her favorite things. He knows his feelings are wrong and has spent many a sleepless night scolding himself, Ryan is not in need of dates, he has always had a way with women but Bambi is something else, if only she were a few years older or he a few years younger.

Bambi sees him glance in her direction before returning to stare at his notes, she blushes, and it is such a silly reaction. Bambi doesn’t blush, Bambi doesn’t get embarrassed by a sly glance, and Bambi doesn’t get sly glances, maybe that is why she blushed. Bambi imagines him climbing through a dilapidated castle to save her from the scary dragon, in his jeans and cardigan it is a funny thought and Bambi can’t help but giggle. Her giggle is sweet and intoxicating and Ryan turns to stare at her, her giggle exudes innocence and naivety and somehow that makes Ryan even more curious at how a 16 year old girl could remain so unjaded by the world.

It is partner work and like usual no one particularly wants to work with Bambi but someone always has to, Bambi no longer takes this personally, she knows she is weird and that being weird comes with its own set of issues. A tall girl with braces sits next to her, Bambi feels awkward in her white dress and pale skin, and she instantly compares herself to this girl with her small hips and long legs. In one sense Bambi is happy she doesn’t look at sexy as this girl because she wants to remain a child, but in the other sense a part of her is dying to grow up and move on.

“I guess we’re together,” The girl says, Bambi nods and stares at her work sheet, she notices a small chain of freckles on her neck, when Bambi was little her mother would tell her fantastical stories about how people got freckles, it’s where they died in a past life, it is a fairies kiss. Bambi still believes this and wonders why growing up means losing your imagination. Bambi does not want to grow up, in fact she is fighting it, her body may grow old but her mind never will, she will keep her imagination until they day she dies.

Bambi lost her imagination for a little while, when her uncle came to stay after he and his partner split, Bambi no longer saw fairies dancing across her bedroom floor instead she saw an old man slithering up next to her like a snake. She no longer imagined she was a princess she was just a sad girl with no hope, she no longer believed in wonder and magic because how could such lovely things exist whilst such terrible things did?

Bambi is thinking too much and she needs to stop, stop. Bambi needs to focus on other things, Ryan is staring at her and she looks at him, her eyes gravitate towards the stain, how she wishes it would just disappear.