Flourish

Bambi loves the moonlight, she loves how the moon hangs so high above her, and she imagines little creatures scurrying around on the large surface. Bambi loves the moon but she is scared of it, she is scared because at night monsters come out, her uncle only came out at night, the monster within him appeared when the sky was dark and the stars were shinning.

Bambi had not realized the sky had gotten dark, she sits with a warm cup of tea and a warn copy of Lolita clutched in her hands tightly, she glances out the window of the her favorite coffee shop and notices the sky is no longer light, her walk home will not be guided by sunlight but streetlamps, Bambi hates street lights, she hates the dark and she wishes it didn’t have to exist. Bambi likes bright happy things and night is scary and dark and reminds her of sleepless nights and painful memories.

Bambi sighs and looks down at her book, the bell above the door does not disturb her reading, she is so used to it now having spent many Saturdays in this very spot with a different book and a warm drink to warm her cold exterior. Ryan walks into the small coffee shop, he doesn’t notice her at first she is tucked away in the corner her head buried in a book, he orders his drink and looks around, it is not that he notices his student Bambi sitting there. Ryan contemplates ignoring her and pretending he has not seen her but when his name is called she looks up and spots him, “Ryan… Order for Ryan”

“Yep” He says grabbing his drink, Bambi watches him with curious eyes, she wants him to come over but she is awkward and he is her teacher, Ryan makes his way over to Bambi, usually Ryan would not have butterflies filling his stomach approaching a girl but this is different, Bambi is different. “Hello Bambi” Ryan says sitting down opposite her, Bambi places her book down and unsure what to do with her hands cups her now luke warm drink.

“Hello Mr Carter”

“Call me Ryan,”

“Okay…. Ryan” Ryan chuckles at how awkward Bambi is, she sits ramrod straight in her seat with her big eyes trained on him, under the moonlight she looks so sweet and beautiful.

“Mind if I ask why a 16 year old girl is spending a Saturday night in a coffee shop alone?”

“My mum spent the day buying things for my uncle’s arrival so I went out”

“Alone?”

“I prefer the company of a book then others”

“Oh, right, sorry Bambi I’ll leave you to it,” Bambi flushes red,

“No, I didn’t mean you Mr… Ryan, I meant other people…”

Ryan smiles at Bambi's awkwardness, “Whatcha reading?”

“Lolita”

“Really” Ryan says with a smile, “Do you like it?”

“I’ve read it before, I like it”

“What’s your favorite part?”

“That Lolita dies”

“Why?” Ryan asks with interest and a little confused

“Because she is finally free”

“Why do you think that?”

“What happened to her is not something you forget” Bambi says simply because Bambi knows, Bambi knows molestation is not forgotten, stolen innocence is not simply erased, the memories stay and the wounds never really heal.

Ryan nods, “Its late aren’t your parents worried?”

“They know I am here, I live a few blocks away anyway, I’m supposed to walk home but I don’t want to”

“Why not?”

Bambi pauses, she has never really vocalized anything about herself before but Ryan is asking with sweet eyes and she wants to tell him she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable so she says simply instead, “I’m scared of the dark” Ryan chuckles because he should have expected nothing less, Bambi cocks her head to the side and he wavers for a second before deciding to just ask her,

“Would you like a lift home?” Bambi pauses, she glances at her warn copy of Lolita, it’s almost ironic to Bambi that she is reading about a young girls exploits with an older man and here she is about to accept an offer from her teacher.

“Yes please” Ryan stands Bambi follows suit and they walk silently to his car, Bambi glances around in the dark her heartbeat racing, she glances at the moon and notices it is a full moon, Bambi is scared of a full moon, her uncle would always tell her bad things happened on a full moon, and they have. He would tell her scary stories about little girls being eaten by monsters on full moons and then he would bring her close and whisper protecting words into her hair as her naked body shook from fear and confusion.

Ryan drives a small four door black car, Bambi stands at the passenger side door and notices a stack of papers on the seat, “Sorry tests, I need to mark”

“Is mine there?” Bambi asks, she flushes red as she is reminded that Ryan is her teacher and he is marking her test and she is having such bad thoughts about her teacher.

“It is” Ryan says moving them quickly to the backseat, Bambi hops in and Ryan pauses for a moment, he realizes as the tests sit behind him burning into his back that he is making a huge mistake, Bambi is a student and he is her teacher, he is not supposed to be spending time with her like this. It is wrong and he can’t help but feel like he is taking advantage of the sweet little girl.

“Thank you” Bambi says quietly Ryan turns to look at her,

“For what?”

“Not making fun of me” Bambi speaks as Ryan stares at Bambi he realizes she is not used to the kindness of strangers, he sees something behind her big innocent eyes, some kind of pain and he is suddenly desperate to understand her. He smiles at her and starts the car. The drive is silent with Bambi pointing out streets to turn down. “I broke my arm here” Bambi says as they pass a street called Mallard,

“How?”

“I fell off my bike; I was riding much to fast”

“I broke my leg jumping from a tree”

“Why would you jump from a tree?”

“I thought I could fly” Ryan says with a laugh, Bambi giggles and it is intoxicating and soon they are laughing at something that really isn’t that funny. Ryan pulls up in front of Bambi’s house, it is not big or small but just in between, Bambi stares at her white house, she likes to pretend it is a castle and she is trapped inside waiting for someone to save her, she looks at Ryan and imagines him saving her it is a nice but silly thought and Bambi scolds herself for being so ridiculous.

“I’ll see you Monday I guess” Bambi says her hand moving to the door handle,

“I’ll see you then I guess Bambi”

“You can call me Alice you know” Bambi says pausing,

“Alice” Ryan repeats, the name is simple and pretty much like Bambi, if only Ryan knew how complicated a girl Bambi really is but he doesn’t so he smiles and watches her walk up the drive way. “Alice” He mutters wanting to feel her name on his lips once more, he drives home with a small smile.