Creating a Life of Trends and Make-Believe

weeks later…

It was strange really; to watch life flash by right in front of your eyes. Watching it pass by as an outsider was really one of oddest feelings. A raven haired boy was leaning against a tree, watching from afar as many people surrounded a casket being lowered into the ground. It wasn’t any old coffin either, it was his own. Some of the people gathered he knew others he did not. That said all of them shed at least one tear for the young boy- even his own father.

Guilt consumed Kellin, realising the mess he had left behind. Watching his mother, whom he had not seen in years, sob her heart out whilst kneeling on the ground broke him a little inside. Her head was in her hands, attempting to muffle the cries that echoed around the cemetery. His band mates were all solemnly staring at the ground, Gabe occasionally glancing towards his mum, sympathy gleaming in his eyes. Kellin scanned the rest of the people there, finding Matty at the back, occasionally lifting a hand to his eyes, wiping away stray tears. The other hand gripped Brittany’s gloved one intensely. The weather only dampened everyone’s mood further.

It was an icy, bitter day. The usual blue skies of San Diego were replaced with a blanket of dusky, dismal clouds. A harsh wind blew its way through the graveyard, tousling everyone’s hair into their face. Everyone looked utterly sombre, and after the last handful of soil was thrown onto his coffin, it seemed the mood somehow got worse. His mum began to cry even harder, and it broke Kellin’s heart in two. A tear of his own slipped down his cheek- not because he was now dead, no. He simply felt guilty that he was causing everyone grief; he never thought that he was that important to anyone, if he was being completely honest.

After a little while, people began to leave, all whispering prayers and regard. Some even threw roses down onto the coffin. A loud cry captured his attention as he saw a person he did not recognise usher his mother away, attempting to comfort her (which did not work in slightest). The unpleasant cold chilled Kellin to his bones (metaphorically of course), and to put it bluntly, he felt like utter shit. He fumbled around with the eternity ring that was now on his finger. Kellin was thankful to have it back, but today, it didn’t bring him any comfort.

The feeling of someone wrapping their arms around his front roused him from his dazed state. Instinctively, he lent back into their comforting touch, inhaling their sweet scent.

“Hey doll face, how’re you holding up.” His voice was slightly raspy, and his breath tickled Kellin’s neck as he nuzzled his face into the younger boy’s shoulder.

Ah, Vic. The man he had given his life up for. One could say Vic enticed him, to the point where it was unhealthy. Still, he didn’t care. Kellin adored the Hispanic man above everything.

“I’m not Vic, it feels like the guilt is killing me, but that’s impossible since I’m already dead.” The blue eyed boy sighed tiredly and rested his arms over Vic’s, wishing to somehow to get closer to him. In this disgusting, horrid world, Vic could make him feel safe and content someway.

“C’mon, it won’t help if you’re standing here, staring at your own grave, will it?” Vic unlocked his arms from Kellin’s torso, firmly placing them on the pale boy’s hips, turning him around so their faces were only inches away from each other. Kellin felt cold lips ghost over his own, making him shiver. The touch was gentle and brief yet sweet. Vic’s lips soon returned to Kellin’s, pressing a little harder this time. Half-heartedly, Kellin returned the kiss, but his mind was elsewhere. After another minute of Vic moving his mouth softly against Kellin’s, he pulled away with a concerned look on his face.

“Oh Kellin.” A sigh followed Vic’s words, and he reached out to cup Kellin’s now rosy cheeks in his hands. Leaning in, he pecked the blue eyed boy’s chapped lips, savouring their luscious taste. The action made Kellin’s cheeks redden even more and he turned away, a small smile playing on his face. Whilst his back was turned, Vic took the opportunity to throw his scarf around Kellin, hoping to warm him slightly. The darker haired boy turned around, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“You didn’t have to do that, Vic.”

“Yes, I know. But I wanted to. You look frozen. C’mon lets go home.” With that, Vic slung his arm around Kellin’s shoulders, pulling him tightly to his side as they walked down the familiar path leading out of the churchyard.

Vic smiled contently to himself, remembering the time he had found Kellin fast asleep on the white bench not far from where they were. Though it was a long time ago, Vic still remembers the day vividly. Especially how Kellin shuffled up to him eagerly, throwing his arm over Vic’s small frame. Simple, small things like that made Vic smile. It was silly really. But those precious memories were held close to his heart.

The two boys walked down the familiar streets of outer San Diego. Still, to this day, they remained practically empty. The eerie feeling however no longer lingered over the town. Instead, it just felt… somewhat hollow and wasted away. Surprisingly, the only place that had some sort of feeling was the ‘abandoned’ mansion Kellin had once feared. Over the last couple of weeks, he had adjusted to its vast rooms and abundant bareness. In a way, he felt like he could call it home. That was as long as Vic was there with him. When alone, he felt like an intruder in the house- like he didn’t belong. Coming to think of it, maybe it was Vic that made him feel like it was home. Grinning stupidly, he nuzzled his head into Vic’s chest as they ambled up to the house.

Kellin was dragged by the hand upstairs, and led into the familiar area that was Vic’s bedroom. Instead of throwing Kellin on the bed and having his dirty ways with him, Vic simply collapsed onto the bed, smiling ridiculously to himself.

“Come here.” The soft timbre of Vic’s voice made the fluttery feeling which seemed to constantly reside in Kellin’s stomach when he was around Vic intensify. He wasted no time in throwing himself onto the bed, and into his partner’s arms. There was no doubt in Kellin’s mind- this is what he wanted. Somehow, Vic’s infectious touch could rid the guilt from him. It was probably down to his good looks.

“What’re you thinking about?” Kellin looked up at Vic with wide, innocent eyes and a slight smirk appeared on his face.

“You.” The smirk turned into a full smile and he snuggled closer to Vic, a blush creeping on his face.

Nothing else was said between the two, the just lay there in complete silence. Kellin soon felt his eyes closing and allowed himself to drift off. For the first time in his life, Kellin felt completely at peace. Vic was enough. He didn't need the fame or the attention to make him happy, he just needed someone who truly cared for him. And now he had that someone forevermore.