Hidden Truths

One year ago, I should have died. No, let me start over. I did die; I don't remember how or why, all I know is that one point in time during my past, I had died. All the details are fuzzy to me and I can't remember any of my life before now. All that I can truly tell you is that I died but what some people know is that I didn't die fully. I became a monster. A horrible monster that craves the blood of humans.

It is very difficult to be around humans now that I am a vampire. When I woke up for the first time - after I died - I was lying in a bed in a place that I didn't even know. Although that kind of does make sense since I don't remember any of my past. I had stood up and had a painful, empty feeling in my stomach. Someone had then come in with a bag of thick red liquid and I couldn't hold myself back as I snatched it from his hands and drank every last drop.

Now I am sitting in the window ceil in that same house, in the same room that I had woken up in. It was Reijay's house. Reijay had taken me in when he found me. Even after I changed. He had told me his kind doesn't usually tolerate the monster I had become but Rei was different from the others. You could just tell by looking at him. He told me he had saved me from the vampire who had been sucking the life out of me.

My family, well, they think I am rotting in a casket in the ground in the cemetery that they had buried me in and that I was no longer part of their world. This is half true since I am a different being from what i used to be. Not even close to what they are or what I had been.

Someone walked into the house and I heard the door close behind then before the thump of something heavy hitting the table that was close to the door. I knew Rei must have been home now since he was normally the only one who even came this far out of the city, other than his close friends who he had here to keep an eye on me. I heard the steps of him making his way toward the stairs that would lead up to the room that I was currently sitting in.

I looked out at the field that lay out in front of this house and I let out a small sigh. I wasn't allowed outside often and when I was allowed out, I had to have someone keeping an eye on me at all times. Something I didn't enjoy but I knew I had to deal with since Rei was to stubborn to change his mind about anything.

"Hello, Rei." I say as I heard him set his hand on the door knob of my door and he slowly began to open it. I looked over at him and let my face remain blank, just like I would have any other day when I was deep in thought about some things.

"Hey, are you doing alright?" Rei asked me as he closed the door behind him and took a few steps toward me.

"Just fine." I grunted out, not really having anything else to say at the moment, but I am sure he would have known if I had something else to say since I would have ended up saying it in the first place.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Rei asked me, a frown taking over his own face as he realized my sarcastic comment was something that didn't happen often.

"Nothing you need to worry about." I told him before I looked away from him once again, only to look back over the field and into the tree lines. I used to think about running out there and loosing myself only to die slowly, but I was never able to because Reijay always had someone watching over me. At all hours of the day.

"Alice. What's wrong?" He asked her once again, but this time it came out more sternly.

"Stop pushing me to tell you things. I am so sick of it." I yelled at him as I turned my cold gaze on him. "One day I won't be here for you to baby me, so you might as well stop now." I growl softly in the back of my throat as I stood up from off the window ceil.

"I just don't want you to be hurting." Rei told me in a softer voice as he took a few more steps toward me, but I knew he was thinking of other things to tell me to try to get me to feel better about what was happening.

"You don't understand Rei, I am always hurting. It never stops. This itch in my throat is always bothering me. The pain in my stomach when I am just the slightest bit hungry. It all hurts so bad." I told him as I stood there, motionless. The only thing moving was my lips. "If you didn't want to see me hurt, you should have just killed me when you first found me."

"Is this what this is all about? That you want to be dead?" Rei asked me and I could tell that he was starting to get angry with this conversation.

"It would be better than being this...." I paused for a moment, trying to think of a good word other than monster. "Thing!" I spat at the end of the sentence and closed my eyes for a few second, trying to calm down some.

"Being a vampire isn't that bad." He told me as he stopped moving and just watched her for a moment.

"How would you know? You have never been one. You were born the way you are." I told him and looked away from him for a moment.

"Ali...." Rei's face began to soften a little and I looked back at him and my own face hardened with anger.

“No!” I yelled to make him stop talking, just to get him to shut up and see if he would finally answer my question I had asked him many times before. He always seemed to find some way to change the subject. “I want to know why you didn’t kill me. Isn’t that what your kind is supposed to do? Kill of the monsters I have become before they do any harm to anyone?” I say all in one breathe, but I try to calm down at the same time so I wouldn’t start hyperventilating.

“Or maybe you should stop to think about how great full you should be because if anyone else would have found you, they would have waited for you to wake up. Just to torture you for who knows how long.” He growled out, trying to keep calm so his wolf wouldn't come out like I knew it wanted to. “Maybe you should just think things through.”

After that, he left the room and made sure to slam the door behind him just to let me know he was pissed off. Or his wolf was. I heard him stop down the stairs and straight into his office where he slammed the door once again.

I flinched some at that, I had never made Rei so made before that he acted like this. I listened to him as he tried to steady his breathing by taking in deep breaths before letting it out real slow to try to calm himself as well as his wolf down.

I sat back in the window ceil and for the very first time of being a vampire and it wasn’t something that I was used to at all. It felt wrong to have the tears flow from my eyes. I usually felt no emotions what so ever and to have them appear now, at this time was pretty over whelming. I soon cried myself into a deep sleep and laid there against the window of my room.