Fancy Pants

-

I turned the corner into my homeroom to find Jeff sitting with his back to me, talking to some dude who was so insignificant to this story the author doesn’t care enough to make up a name to identify him with.

Not having Natalie at my side this morning, because she was yet again home sick, I took this opportunity to creep up behind him.

"BRIIIIIIING!" I erupted in his ear. He jumped and turned around to face me with a glare.

“What was that for?” he cried out, gripping his hands around his ears. I pulled my Nike bag off and set it on his desk, yanking it open. Finding the item, I grabbed it, and clunked in onto the desk.

His eyes began to grow bigger as he stared down at the video camera. I drew my bag closed, putting it back on. Watching him try to compose himself, I leaned onto the desk, waiting.

“This yours?” I asked after he subtly gulped.

“Nope.” He shook his head.

“No? Then is it Chris’? Or David’s?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen it before.”

“Right,” I said sarcastically, nodding slowly. “I guess it really doesn’t matter whose it is. All that matters is who put it in my room - and from what I saw in the video, I’m gonna say it was you.”

I wish I hadn’t taken the SD card out so I could take a picture of his face right now.

“Care to lie your way out of this one?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” If I was oblivious, I still wouldn’t have believed him.

“Dude,” the guy Jeff was talking to earlier said, staring at him in disbelief. “That’s so fucked up. At least own up to it or you’ll feel like shit the rest of your life - karma,” he said remindful.

“It’s a bitch,” I added gravely.

Jeff looked from him to me before glancing down at his desk. His eyes closed as he sighed. He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

“Shit,” he muttered. “It was all Chris’ idea, I swear.”

“Chris?” I said.

He nodded, but stopped. “Well, him and David. But Chris was just joking around about it, but David thought it was genius - he said he’d pay us if we did it for him and -”

“Why?” I interrupted. “Did he say why he wanted to…do that?”

“Not really - just something about revenge, like he said all he wanted was to catch you doing something dumb. Blackmail, maybe. I don’t know.” I could see the guilt getting to him, be it from my privacy he was invading or the trust he was betraying between him and David.

A thought suddenly came to his head as he looked dreadful.

“Please don’t tell them I told you. It’s just I didn’t want to get murdered with a Math book.”

Ah, yes. The fear is strong with this one.

“Maybe,” I pretended to reason. “That reminds me - where is dumbass anyway? I haven’t seen him in weeks. Did I kill him?”

“According to his mom you did. You know how protective she is of him, right? And since that was his, like, tenth fight he’s been in, she’s gone overboard and took him out of school. He’s homeschooled now.”

“Are you serious?” I wanted to laugh.

He slowly matched my smile, nodding. “Yup. The lady’s insane.”

“Well, I think I ought to pay him a visit - I miss my buddy.”

“Good luck getting in that house,” he chuckled. “From what he’s told me, she’s furious with you.”

I let out a short laugh. “If she knew what her little ‘angel’ did to cause the fight she’d be more understanding.”

“True,” he agreed.

“I’ll get him back for this someday,” I said promisingly.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that one bit.”

Feeling like that was the end of our conversation, I tipped a nod over to my desk.

“Well, good talk. I’m gonna go plot his death now.”

“Right - wait!” he said quickly. I stopped from walking. He was quiet and then - “I’m sorry…about that whole thing…”

“It’s fine,” I lied. “David’s a little guilt-tripping bastard,” I said, having to remind myself really. Jeff didn’t say anything back as he nodded in agreement.

I began to head back over to my desk before stopping. I glanced down at the video camera and grabbed it.

“I’m keeping this.”

“Be my guest,” he struggled to mutter, scrunching his mouth into a pucker. If it was his, I wanted this to be his apology gift.

I went to my desk, my new video camera in hand.

-

I really wanted to blab to Emma about David’s latest ‘revenge,’ but then she’d know how much of a douche he really was. He dragged her into all of this just because of me. She didn’t do anything to him.

What did I even do?

I couldn’t think of anything - and I mean before the ‘fight.’

I waited for Study Hall to roll around to interrogate Chance, but when the time finally came, Chance was absent. Home sick, apparently.

He’s been hanging around Natalie a lot lately, so he could’ve caught her cold.

Whatever.

I took the extra alone time to think about murdering David. When will that joyous occasion happen? I don’t know. But I’m bound to run into him at some point…hopefully with a steamroller.

The rest of the day went by slow and uneventful so I stayed for nothing. But on the bright side, I got to drive Emma home.

“My parents are not home today, so you can park right out front,” she said from the passenger’s seat, digging around in her bag.

“Yippee.”

As the truck came to a stop at the stoplight, a few blocks from her house, she pulled out a little cylinder container. “Ah-ha,” she said in victory. Since she popped the lid and applied it to her lips, I’m gonna say it was either chap stick or - what’s the other thing? - lip gloss.

I hope it’s the strawberry one. That jazz smells nice.

Stopping her from dropping it back into her bag, I grabbed it to read the label. Yep. It was.

“What?” she asked with a laugh. “Didja want some?”

“If you insist…” I trailed making her laugh again. The light changed from red to green, so I let it go above her lap, going back for the steering wheel. She scoffed at me before gasping, reaching for my hand.

And because I was trying to get us to her house in one piece, I jerked my hand from hers and focused on driving.

“What happened?” she wailed, pointing to my hand. I looked and saw the long cut over four of my fingers.

Oh, right. I forgot about that.

“Picked up scissors the wrong way.”

“Ouch,” she groaned like she could feel my pain. “Did you clean it? It could get infected.”

“Yes.”

“Liar,” she hissed sharply.

I dropped my jaw. “…so?”

“It could get infected!” she said again, this time more concerned. “You are coming in with me; I’ll clean it for you.”

“Emma,” I grumbled, not wanting her to worry. “Just chill. It’s not that bad.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she stated. “The smallest scrap could get infected. Let me help you.” We pulled up to the front of her house, but she didn’t get out right away.

She looked at me expectantly. “Come on,” she urged.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Dodger,” she said sternly, giving me a hard look.

And here we are in her bathroom. I leaned up against the wall, waiting for her to get what she needed. She stood on her tippy-toes in front of the medicine cabinet, hand moving aside containers and boxes until it found a brown bottle with a spray nozzle. Hydrogen Peroxide.

She set it on the counter, hand going back up and returning with a box of gauze.

Woman. It is really not that bad.

She hooked her arm around mine, all the items under her other. She pulled me behind into her room, instructing me to sit on her bed. I did.

“Hand,” she said simply, holding out her own. I held mine out and she took it. “This might burn…” There was a slight tingle when she sprayed the peroxide, but it wasn’t too bad.

She still looked at me with concern. “Okay?”

“Yup.”

“Good.” She sprayed it one more time before going for the gauze.

“Emma…” I started, laughing slightly. “It’s really not that bad.”

“We don’t know that.” She unrolled a small section of gauze and placed it on top of my hand. I let her wrap it.

I couldn’t help but think she’d make a great mom someday…an overly protective mom, but a mom, nonetheless.

She bent down and gave my hand a kiss and a small pat. “All good,” she grinned, picking up all the crap she brought in here with her. I thanked her, trying to move my hand as she walked back into the bathroom.

She plopped down on her bed, then sat there, smoothing out her new dress. I waited for her to stop, hopping she’d either offer me to stay or tell me I could leave.

“What do you want to do?” she asked instead. I shrugged.

“You know what I want to do. What do you want to do?”

She smiled and shrugged too. “Whatever.”

So we made out. It was nice.

Until the door flew open. If anyone I was hoping to see Herald, but got a man I didn’t recognize instead. To sum up, he looked like he worked out and like he might have belonged to the mafia. He dressed in a suit with his hair gelled back.

Emma seemed to know exactly who it was as she shoved me off of her. Her face fell under his angry gaze.

Oh, God…please don’t let this be her -

“Daddy,” she gasped out, pulling the edge of her dress back down to her knees - heh. It was a good make out session - and quickly yanked up her underwear…really good.

Wait. Daddy? fuuuuuuuccccccccckkkk.

“Who the hell is this?” he snapped and I began to plan my funeral. His eyes narrowed as he realized she was also pulling up her underwear. He glared at me.

“What the hell were you two doing?”

Not getting a coherent response from either of us, he stepped into the room. I watched his knuckles turn white. The first thing I thought to do was grab Emma and use her as a shield.

“Please don’t kill me,” I pleaded out, burying my face into Emma’s back. Her grip on my forearm tightened.

“Daddy,” she said again. Her voice was shaking. “I-I can explain - we were just…just...”

“Just what? Who is this?”

“He’s my - he’s…”

“He’s your what?” Well, damn. If you let her talk she would tell you.

“My -…friend -”

“Friend?” he snapped again. “You do that with your friend?”

He scowled at me. “I will kill you.”

I screamed internally. I can’t die yet - there’s so much I don’t need to do with my life but want to for my own amusement. Spare me, please.

Emma’s hand found mine and squeezed it tightly. She began to stutter out an explanation, but was interrupted by a ninja.

Herald stood in the doorway, looking as confused as ever at us all.

“What’s happening, sir?” he asked Emma’s father. Her dad’s finger was pointed right at me.

“Who’s this?” he asked him.

“Well, that is Dodger, sir - did you not know he was here?”

“Does it look like I fucking knew?” he growled at him. I hoped Emma would snap at him for cursing, but all she did was pull my arms tighter around her. He suddenly turned on Herald.

“You let him up here in her room without her mother or I being home. Do you know what they were doing? Do you?”

Herald stammered, frantically looking from us to him. “N-no. I…Ms. Emilia told me she was tending to his wound. Is that not it?”

“Not even close.” His jaw clenched and I noticed a vein pop up on his forehead. “Not only did you let a boy into this house, but you let him in her room, and did nothing when the door was closed. I have half a mind to fire you for being so ignorant -”

Emma found her big girl voice. “Just stop!” she cried. “And listen to me for once - please!”

Everyone turned and looked at her in shock.

“Emilia,” her dad said harshly. “I’ll talk to you in a second -”

“No,” she said again, shaking her head. “You will talk to me now. Yes, I have a boy in my room; I am a big girl. We were not doing anything I didn’t want to do. Just let me grow up!”

I hugged her tighter knowing she needed it as her dad spoke again.

“Emilia, I’m not stopping you from growing up. I’m stopping you from making a big mistake.”

“Mistake?” she interrupted disbelievingly. “He is not a mistake.”

“You don’t know that. How do you know that once he gets what he wants from you, he won’t turn around and leave. Guys are like that, Emma. Don’t go thinking he’s any different.”

“He is different; he wouldn’t do that!” she snapped out. “He won’t because he loves me, Daddy, and I love him.”

oh.

My eyes widened.

Her dad’s face dropped, but he picked it right back up and shook his head at her in pity.

“No. You don’t even know what love is; you’re a teenager who thinks she knows everything -”

“No, I know what I feel, and what I’m feeling…is love.” She sounded so sure. They continued to look each other dead in the eye. The room fell silent. All I could hear was Emma breathing heavily.

Whether or not she meant what she said, she put on a believable show. She was so worked up right now. Her grip on my hands tightened again.

Her dad gave us a look I couldn’t read. But then he looked right at me. He spoke low.

“Get out.”

Emma whimpered. “Daddy…”

“No,” he said. “Get out or I’m calling the cops.”

She stiffened, then jerked her head back to me. “Dodger,” she breathed. “Tell him - tell him you love me.”

Love?

My mouth quivered. I tried to talk.

“I…” The words weren’t coming. I couldn’t say anything. I looked at her dad with his arms crossed and a grimace on his face. I looked at Herald standing rigidly in the door. Then at Emma and her big teary eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak.

“I…I love her.”

But did I?