Status: In the works right now, heh. btdubbs be a dear and tell me if I'm wasting my time updating this crap story. thnx.

Fancy Pants

Fancy Pants Ch. Nine - Revenge of The Caps-lock


And here we are once again with Emma lying to her parents about where she is.

Well, you see it’s Valentine’s Day here in Fancy Pants land - but I’ll be honest. I had no idea that was what day it was when I suggested me and Emma hang out. It just turned out that way. And what is my romantic plan for Febuary 14th?

A trip to the scary storage unit which I would bet my ten dollars on that it is haunted. But I didn’t tell her that - whoops. It just slipped out to her. Now she doesn’t want to go. Heh. Too bad.

My original plan was just for us to fuck in the backseat, but eh. This works too.

I picked her up like a whore at her street corner in my lovely truck, and off we drove to the storage unit. When she hinted what day it was through our texts, I just had to go buy her the bestest gift in the word - an.

I unlocked the door to our unit, letting Emma head in first. I didn’t even have to tell her she could sit down on the bench thingy-mah-doo we had stored in our little, uh…thing before she already was.

“I guess I should start on those articles...” she said, pulling a notebook out of her bag. If you’re wondering what an ‘article’ is, it’s a thing. We have to search up articles on the internet, read them, and then write about how it affected us and how it would affect our mental state and all that good stuff. It's for Psych class, btdubbs.

I smiled at her. “You haven’t started those yet either, huh?”

She grinned really big, knowing I haven’t either. “Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

“Neither have I. What are you thinking of doing them on?”

“Eeerrrr….uhm, I’m thinking, for my first one, cyber bulling - or bullying in general. It is all very bad.”

I just grinned some more at how cute she can be, going through a shoe box that held a zillion pictures in it.

“Good choice.”

“I know,” she smirked arrogantly up at me. “I thought of it.”

I let my jaw hang low, staring at her, feigning being taken back. “Oh, I’m beginning to see the real you, Emma.” I gave a dramatic, flirty look. “And I like it.” I winked at her, causing her to giggle, and she went on to randomly start giggling the rest of the time until she finished her one article.

“DONE,” she chirped happily.

“Yaaaaaayy,” I said, just a liiitttllee sarcastically. “I wanna read it, though. Like, later.”

“Oh, of course,” she laughed. “I’m really proud of myself,” she bragged. “I actually got one done. Impressed? I cannot blame you.”

I chuckled. ”You’re cute.”

She was grinning up storm as I walked over to where she was.

“Stating the obvious,” she continues modestly, “but...I will take the compliment. I don’t mind.”

Ugh. She kills me. I leaned down to her, and smiled. She bit her lip out of habit and started to shy her eyes away. But I stopped her by kissing her softly on the lips. I started to feel happiness and...uh…well, horny. I just…hormones were goin’ haywire.

But of FUCKING course, this little make out session didn’t last very long. We soon heard what sounded like...people talking. I don’t even know. Just some dude blabbing away. And then some lady talking. And then it sounded like…someone was...whistling? What the fuck? We were the only ones in here a couple minutes ago.

“Uhm...” she laughed nervously, staring in the direction of where the talking was coming from. “Can we get out of here?”

Yes, and get you out of those clothes and into my bed.

Instead of saying what I really wanted to say, I laughed and said, “Yeah. RACE YA TO THE CAR. LAST ONE THERE is probably dead, because the disembodied voices KILLED THEM.” I took off out of the room and headed for the stairs.

“NOT FAIR!” she cried, grabbing her notebook and bag.

“NOTHIN’ BUT, BABY…” Oh, wait. I didn’t put the lock on the door…I did the walk-of-shame back to the room. And just as I was about to turn the corner, Emma fucking popped out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me. Yet somehow she was the one who wound up screaming bloody murder as I just stood there with a bewildered look on my face.

After a couple seconds, she stopped and yelled, “DODGER! You scare me!”

I shrugged. “I forgot to lock the door.”

“Yeah, I know…so I locked it for you.”

“Oh...thanks…well…RACE YA TO THE CAR,” I challenged once more, fleeing down the stairs.

“AGAIN, NOT FAIR,” she whined, running after me.


Anyway, I won. (:

I’m not sure exactly where we’re going next but…I have an idea. I was thinking Burger King drive thru and then…wherever she wanted to go after that?

“You’re such a butt,” she complained, munching on her fries. She’s still hung up on that. LET IT GO, LITTLE GIRL.

…man. so many cap-lock moments in this chapter…wait. Am I breaking the forth-wall every time I acknowledge this is a story and I know that? Because that would so sick. I’d feel like Deadpool. I’ve always wanted to do that, I assume, because that is what the author is making me think. (Author: *winkwink*)

We decided on going to this park near our school and chill in the parking lot…for no reason.

“What, you expect me to let you win? Uh, no. Sorry. That is not how Sir Dodger rolls.”

“Yeah, but still…” She folded her arms over her chest, immaturely, crumbling up the Burger King’s bag into a ball, and dropping it into my lap.

“Oh, okay,” I said childishly with a sassy head bob. “I’ll just take this for you.” I knocked it to the floor, because I don’t care about my environment. I had finished eating long ago, by the way. She took a sip of her Fanta. I waited for her to set it back down before I leaned over and kissed her nose. She giggled as I pressed my lips against hers.

God, I love kissing her. Her lips are so soft. I could honestly kiss her for days. Fuck breathing. This was way more important. It felt so good, so right. I wanted to do so much more with her, though. So much. Dirty things. BAD things. So bad, she wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the eye anymore…like…sex would be cool. Or a blowjob. Or at least a handy. She hasn’t done either of those yet. I don’t care what, really. Just...something dirty.

“You know,” I said between kisses, remembering a conversation we had previously. “When I said earlier, ‘I bet you give awesome head,’ I meant that. I bet you do.”

She pulled away, just a little, and I thought: Oh shit. I shouldn’t have said that. But then I saw her smile, just a little. I relaxed. She bit her lip - which made me want to fuck her brains out - and looked down suddenly shy. “Maybe,” she whispered. “We’ll see.”

“Like when? Now? Now would be great.” I sounded waaaaayy too eager. I cleared my throat. “Or, you know…whenever.”

She smiled again. “Later.” When later? Can we just have sex instead? Okay, I am way too horny. Hornier than usual. If possible. I have the hormones of a fifteen year old boy, if you haven’t noticed…lately, anyway. I mean, give me sex once and I’ll go through crazy withdrawals. Like, seriously. I just want to fuck everything that can walk…okay, not everything. Just…her. I know we’re not dating or anything - yeah, still. shut it - but she’s the only girl I want to this with from now on. If I switch to someone else, it feels like I’m cheating.

Weird, right?

We wound up kissing again…and about ten minutes later, we ended up in the back of the truck.
In the bed of it. I had recently put the top on it, so privacy. It was kind of dark on the count of there being curtains over all the windows back here but...whatever. I really didn’t care at the moment. I just wanted to fuck…well, I mean, we didn’t have to, but...that’d be nice. I have a condom and everything this time. I think it’s…boysenberry?

Okay, just so you know, whenever we’re like hardcore making out, I can’t control what my hands do or where they go. Just so you know.
Before I could stop them, they were up her shirt, fiddling with her bra. You know what would be so kick-ass? If she took her shirt off. That would so kick-ass...and hot. You know what; I actually prefer nothing to be on her but me and possibly a blanket. I mean, we got one right here. Yeah, I don’t know why, but there is. And pillows? I don’t even know. I swear. It’s almost like I planned this, heh, heh…

I wanted to get her shirt off so bad. And her pants. And her underwear…everything.

I think she must’ve heard me or something because she started taking her shirt off herself, which is just wonderful. I did the same, pulling off mine, so she wouldn't be the only one. I smirked to myself and began planting kisses over the tops of her chest, my hands resting on her hips.

She let out a shaky breath.


I love hearing her moan or whisper my name. I don’t really know why. Just something about it is awesome.

I not really secretly slipped my hands under her back, and tried to undo her bra…SUCCESS. I pulled it off her slowly and just enjoyed the view. She has some great lookin’ boobs. And she looks good topless. Just sayin’.

But she got this shy and bashful look on her face, and looked down, hands going to cover her chest. I held them, stopping her.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You look…good.”

She cracked a smile. “Really?”

I nodded in all seriousness. “Very good.” I smirked leaning down to kiss her lips before trailing that kiss down her neck and began kissing her chest again and doing stuff to that divine area. This ain’t one of those stories; I can’t tell you everything...Sorry.

Oh, shooooot. Who cares? I'm sure y'all wanna know. I WAS SUCKING ON HER TITTY - (Inner Goddes break dances, arms flailing around wildly: like she wanted me, calling me, all the time like blondie *sheepishly stops* - Me: *sup nod* You’re alright, you know that?) And I was totally led to believe she liked it because she, as a matter of fact, pulled on my hair and moaned VERY loudly. Feelin’ pretty good about myself.

I took that kiss down her stomach, finally ending up at the button of her jeans. I just kind of sat there for a moment, debating on whether or not I should just undo and take them off without even checking to make sure it was okay with her, or, you know, at least ask. She was breathing hard and fast, staring down at me with this ‘look’ in her eyes; I knew if I asked she’d say yes. But I still felt like I had to.

I just looked up at her. She waited a few seconds before nodding. I looked back down, and slid my hand down the front of her jeans, resting it over her underwear. Then pulled it back out, working her pants down and off.

I kissed her jawline as she tilted her head back, closing her eyes.

I rubbed her through her underwear, feeling she was wet, then I slid my hand under her underwear, (oh sweet jeezus she shaves now) and just rubbed around down there, not going near the middle (if ya know what I mean...) She seemed to like it. Her breathing was so…fucked up. It was kinda hot. But she was too tense…really tense. I couldn’t get a finger inside. I knew I had to do something to try to relax her a bit. I kissed her neck, and rubbed her with my thumb. After a few seconds, she started to calm down. She even moaned a little bit.
I waited until she was fairly wet before spreading her legs, slowly sliding my middle finger inside her. She gasped, eyes clasping shut, scrunching the blanket between her fingers. She let out a moan.

I gently pumped my finger in and out, then up and down until she looked like she was really into it.

When she did, I slipped my finger out, this time pushing two back in. She moaned quietly. She tipped her head back, arching her back. “Oh…Dodger,” she gasped out my name. “Oh….God,” she moaned, hips moving in time with my fingers.

I pressed my lips to her ear. "Want to try something else?" She nodded stiffly, and I stopped fingering her - much to her dismay, I'm sure. I pushed my forehead up against hers, and ran my hands up her sides, and then back down, forcefully pulling her underwear down to her knees.

She gasped, biting her lip. I kissed down her neck to her belly button, pulling her underwear off completely.

I brought my face down between her legs, and…well, you know.

There was something hot about the way she was letting me go down on her. I loved it. I can’t really explain why. The way she squeezed my head between her legs so damn tightly. Running her fingers through my hair, while pushing my face against her as if I could get any closer than I already was. I could hear her panting so loud, moaning for more. And it made me not want to stop, knowing that I was the one giving her this pleasure.

But I soon knew it was time to stop.

The moment her thighs quivered, and her grip on me loosened.

She had the biggest smile on her face.

Now, am I wrong to think I should get something in return?


Maybe an hour or so later, we were back up front. What just happened kept replaying in my head, and I couldn’t stop smiling. And I knew if I couldn’t stop smiling and thinking about it, she definitely couldn’t.

Unfortunately, we didn’t end up ‘going all the way.' We just did all the other stuff…repeatedly.
I don’t think we were going to go all the way anytime soon. We just had a pregnancy scare. Granted that was weeks ago but, yeah, heh. No. She wasn’t ready to go right back to sex. I know for a fact that she wasn’t. She told me. She told me she was scared to; she’d be ready for it eventually, but not right now. And I didn’t want to make her do something she wasn’t fully ready to do, or felt like she had to do. Simple as that?

She was staring off into space, knees to her chest, smiling like an idiot.

We’re still at the park, but now we’re sitting outside on the grass, on a blanket that was in the van.

Suddenly, her stomach made a bizarre stomach noise. And since I had moved to lying on her stomach, I heard it. Instead of being like, “Uhm…wow, you just ate like an hour ago. How can you be hungry, you pig?” I growled back. Yeah. That’s right. I’ll do anything for a laugh.

“Weirdo,” she mumbled after giggling. I honestly don’t think she’s ever going to laugh again - it’s just giggles from this point on.

“I am what I am,” I defended myself.

“I had a feeling you’d say that. Weird.”

“Well, I am a weirdo. It’s what I do…you know...weird things…like you.”

Her face went red. She covered it understanding the innuendo. Remember when she didn’t?

“No, shut up,” she whined in embarrassment. I just smiled, thrusting those two certain fingers in her face. She grumbled gibberish, swatting my hand away. I smiled again and went back to whatever I was doing before...which, apparently was killing grass. I ripped a handful up and questioned why.

I should stop that.

Eh. Time to make her face even redder. That’s always fun.

I stuck my tongue out between my index and middle finger and made...gestures with it...if you get what I’m trying to say. Though I was looking at the ground while I did that, she knew it was directed towards her. I looked up in time to see her face was matching my converse yet again. She lightly slapped the back of my head.

“Well, geez,” I muttered in fake betrayal with a sigh. She smiled back. We were quiet for a few seconds before I got bored and mumbled a stream of words, stretching. She stared at me knowing I was going to do something else relating to what happened earlier…I took my hand, put it in a sigh-language-e symbol and…thrusted it towards my mouth. (Inner Goddess: BLOW JOB. Me: Ya darn skippy.)

She shoved me with all her might (I moved like an inch). “Noooo. I hate you!” she droned, covering her face again.

I just faked a frown, climbing on top of her. “Aww. Don’t hate me. You know I had to makes some jokes…well…not really jokes, know what I mean. Just cooommmeeeee oooonnnn.”

“Noooooo,” she whined when I tried to pull her hands away from her face. I sighed as I eventually gave up...or was I really giving up? Heh. Nah.

It got quiet, but not for too long. I grabbed her sides, tickling her. She squealed, hands flying over mine, trying to pry them off her.


I suddenly stopped, went “HA, SUCCESS,” and kissed her on the lips, then reenacted a wild crowd at a sporting event for all those around me, getting her to legit cackle. It was beautiful.

After what seemed like ten minutes but was actually a few hours later, we got up and I took her home, because her wonderful father texted her, demanding she get her butt home, because she had been out all day. I guess I understand. It was nearing night fall. I wouldn’t trust her going out for that long either...for obvious reasons that hopefully he doesn’t know.

We hopped into the truck. We didn’t really talk on the way home. We just sat there, listening to 103.9 The X.

When we pulled into parking spot a few houses over, she finally decided to say something.

“I could honestly listen to the radio all day.”

I let my smirk shine through. “I could listen to you moan all day - and night.”

She shook her head, smiling. “I knew you were going to say that.”

“I knew you were going to say that.”

“I think it has been decided: We’re both wizards.”

We both faked an excited/surprised gasp, turned to each other, and shouted out, “WIZARD’S DO EXSIT!”

Yeah, that’s right. Inside joke. We are now close enough that we have an inside joke. Aren’t you proud of us?

Then we just kind of sat there, staring at each other.

“I say,” my idea began, “We do this whole thing again tomorrow - or whenever...minus creepy storage unit.”

She smiled. “Oh, yeah. Most definitely.”

We kissed again...and again…and again…to the point where it’d be considered making out. I pulled her onto my lap, and slipped my hands up the back of her shirt. I could feel my boner making itself known. I knew she had felt it as she became a tease and pulled away with a small smirk.

She bit my bottom lip before whispering, “I should go…”

I pulled her back, kissing her neck, wanting to leave another hickey. “No. You shouldn’t.”

And what does she do? She giggles. “I have to go.” I shook my head. “Yes, Dodger. I have to go…now.”

Playing on the hormones card, I just said, “Ooh, say my name again. It makes me hard.” She laughed, because I’m funny, but gave me a – quote-un-quote -- ‘serious’ look. I groaned, fiddling with the zipper on her jeans. “Can’t you just stay the night and never leave?”

“As much as I’d like that, I don’t think my dad will…at all.”

“So? Who cares?”

“He will.”

I sighed and then looked in the direction of her house, and my boner disappeared.

She looked that way too and back at me. “What?”

“Some dude is out on your porch, like, steady creepin’.” She angled a look out the window and saw what I saw. Some guy standing on her porch, his eyes shifting around outside. Steady creepin’. I don’t think he saw us, or if he did, he didn’t know who we were.

She squinted then her eyes sprang wide with fear. “That is my father!” she gasped out. She tried to crawl back into the passenger seat but I wasn’t ready to let go yet. “Dodger!” she scolded. “He will see; let go.”

“No!” I wailed, grabbing onto her for a hug. She relaxed slightly, of course, giggling.

“Dodger…” she trailed, tapping a finger to my nose.

I frowned. “You have to go now, don’t you?”

She nodded sadly. “Yeeeaaaahhh…”

I kissed her one more time, and she crawled back into the passenger side, opened the door, and stepped out. She waved one more time before I drove away, watching through the rearview mirror to make sure she made to the gate. And she did.

Ugh. What a wonderful day, am I right?

Oh, and you’re welcome for the deets on the sexy time. I know, I know. Hold the applause.

Man, how long was this chapter? Too long? Long enough? Eh. We’ll keep it going.

….nah. The author is saying to me right now that she has a fear of writing chapters that are too long because they might not copy over all the way. (Author: It’s true)


I will see you in the next chapter, my friends…oh…the author is telling met to call you ‘bros’…uh, okay.

Later, bros.
♠ ♠ ♠