I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

In the three years since Porter’s death, things had taken another turn for the worse. Girls who were of age were being married off to the soldiers. If one of them saw a girl he liked, he only had to inform the governor, and a visit would be paid to the girl’s parents, and a deal would be made. The soldier would pay an amount agreed upon by the governor and her parents, and he would get to marry her. The girl had no say so in the whole process. One of my classmates was forced to marry a soldier almost twice her age. She didn’t love him, but it didn’t matter. She was forced to marry him and have his children. I remember praying desperately that it wouldn’t happen to me. But then…

I remember the day exactly that I lost my faith in him. Him, the one man I was supposed to admire and revere, and know in my heart without a doubt that he would look out for me. It was a turn of his head. That’s all it took. It lasted but seconds and he made no noise doing so, but for me, he moved in slow motion and the sound of his intentional ignorance was deafening. The soldier, fat and greasy and drunk, whose status far surpassed that of the two of us, was eyeing me up and down like I was his next meal. I remember looking up into his eyes, waiting for him to reassure me. And he looked to me, glanced up to the soldier, and then closed his eyes on an inhale. On his exhale he turned his head away from the scene, choosing instead to focus on the leafless, lifeless trees of winter on his right. Right then, in that moment, I knew. I knew it with absolute certainty, and I hated him for it. He, who spent so long protecting me, who kept me safe when those things rose up from their shallow graves and started eating people, who worked so hard to take my mother and me to a safe place, was going to let that soldier get what he wanted. I knew that soon, like so many other girls, I would be given to that fat, drunken soldier by my father. And there was nothing I could do about it.

After that day, not three days later, the governor was sitting in my living room with my father, discussing my future. I sat in the hallway listening in, hoping that I was wrong. Praying as hard as I’d ever prayed that my father would say no, that he would protect me, just like he did all those years ago. He didn’t. I was called out to the living room so I could meet the governor. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the darkness of the hallway. I had never seen Governor Lincoln Driscoll in person, seeing as how he was far too important to stoop down to the likes of us, but I got to examine him up close since he was sitting not ten feet away from me. He was an intimidating man, even sitting down. His hair was slightly longer than was considered normal for a man of his stature, and was dark with a light sprinkling of grey. His face had deep tell-tale lines around his mouth and in between his eyebrows, revealing the hardships he’d had to face throughout his life. His eyes were a dark brown and very sharp. As we silently appraised on another, him sitting on my family’s twelve year old couch with the hideous flower pattern, and I standing in the doorway, I felt as if he could see through to my innermost thoughts and feelings. There was something about him that scared me.

He smiled the same smile he used to win the election, and extended his hand out to me. I shook it gingerly. “Hello, my dear. It’s very nice to meet you. I’m your Governor, Lincoln Driscoll. What’s your name?”

He very well knew my name, but the look my father was giving me had me cutting off any remarks I may have wanted to make. “Piper Cheadle,” I told him quietly; then, as an afterthought, “sir.”
He seemed pleased with my manners. His eyes lit up as he gestured for me to sit down; as if I was some sort of guest he was attending to, in my own home, no less. Something was off. “You know, I have a son about your age. He’s a fine young man, my boy. I’m grooming him to take over the family business, if you know what I mean.” The last sentence was directed towards my father with a wink.

The governor stayed at my house for hours, and even stayed for dinner. I’m not sure when it happened, but sometime during the night I figured out that I wouldn’t be given away to that soldier from the street. No, the good governor had other plans for me. He commented several times that I kept the house very tidy and that I made an excellent dinner. He even told my father what an exceptional beauty I was. As the night wore on, my father became increasingly happy and eager to do anything the governor asked of him. And why not? If he sold his daughter to the governor, he could live off the earnings for the rest of his life. The money he’d get from that soldier would seem like change compared to the money Lincoln Driscoll could shell out. And here I thought I couldn’t respect my father any less than I already did.

It was a week later when the letter came. An invitation, hardly something to be frightened of, but I knew the invite to the governor’s mansion was the final nail in my coffin. My fate was sealed. My father looked like the cat that ate the canary. I had tried to explain that I didn’t want to go, but he wouldn’t listen.

“Dad, please, I can’t go there. We shouldn’t. We should stay here.”

“And why wouldn’t you want to go to the governor’s mansion? He was nice enough to invite us, we should be there. I didn’t raise you to be rude,” my father reminded me.

I took in his appearance. He looked the same; the same chestnut colored hair, and the same brown eyes as mine, but something about him was different. He had changed somehow. I wondered why it had taken me so long to see it. “I don’t want to marry the governor’s son. I don’t want to be forced to marry anyone.”

“Stop it. No one is forcing you into anything. And besides, how else are you going to get married if I don’t arrange it for you?”

“I could fall in love, dad! You remember that feeling, don’t you? It was that feeling you had for mom-“

He cut me off. “Do not speak of her in this house.”

I sighed. “Okay, then it’s that feeling you’re supposed to feel for me.”

He merely smiled and patted the top of my head. “Oh, honey, I do love you. That’s why I’m looking out for you. You’ll learn that I’m only doing what’s best. The governor and his son can provide a nice life for you.”

“You mean they can pay you enough money to provide a nice life for you.”

His smile disappeared. “Well, who are you going to fall in love with, Piper? The only prospect you had is dead. What would you have me do?”

I couldn’t believe he was being so callous. At the obvious mention of Porter my eyes welled up with tears. I wanted to run, run anywhere, but there was really no place to go. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. My father’s mind was made up, and there wasn’t any changing it. I went to my room after that, lying down on my twin sized bed. I didn’t get back up that night. Not even to make dinner for my father. To this day I couldn’t tell you if he even ate that night or not.

The next morning I was woken up early. I needed to prepare for the two of us to stay at the governor’s mansion for a few days. I started by making breakfast for my father. I wasn’t hungry. Once I set the table for him I started on the laundry. Due to the lack of supplies and resources, everyone on the base does their laundry in one room. There are only three washers and three dryers. I took only what I felt we needed and hoped that I had gotten there early enough that there wouldn’t be much of a line. Luckily enough for me, there were only two people ahead of me. I set both of my baskets down and sat down against the building next to them. Various people came and went while I waited. Some stopped to chat, but most of them simply passed me by. Sometimes I wondered why there wasn’t more of a sense of camaraderie between everyone who lived on the base, but then I remind myself that there’s such a divide between social classes, that it would be unheard of to converse with someone below your station. And unfortunately, my father and I were definitely not very high up on the totem pole. My mother running off with a rock star created enough of a scandal that my father and I suffered major backlash from it.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Mrs. Dashner coming out of the laundry room. She was always one of my favorite people. When I first met her she was in her mid to late fifties and had managed to make it to the base all by herself. Now she was pushing seventy, and still just as sweet and spunky as ever. She smiled sweetly at me while putting a hand on my shoulder. “Hello dear. How have you been? I haven’t talked to you in so long. Word is the governor came to visit your father. Is everything okay?”

I knew exactly what she meant. Anyone would, even though no one talked about what was really happening to the girls my age. If only she knew the plans they had for me. I suppose I should have felt honored that the mighty Governor Driscoll would want poor pitiful me to marry his only son, but I didn’t. I didn’t feel anything except a cold pit in the bottom of my stomach. “Hi Mrs. Dashner. I’ve been okay. Uh, I think everything will work out. I’ll be fine.”

She didn’t seem too convinced, but gave me another smile all the same. “Alright dear, if you’re sure. You know, you’ve grown into quite a stunning young woman. I’m sure you’re right that everything will work out. Fate has a way of working wonders for the people who truly deserve it in the end.” With a wink, she shuffled off with her small basket of laundry.

I only had to wait another hour before it was my turn to wash and dry our clothes. I took my time folding all the laundry since I had no desire to return home to pack for our stay. Although I knew I had to go back at some point, even after I finished folding the clothes I took the long way home, walking instead around the outside of the base, wishing somehow I could leave. Where would I go? I sighed heavily when my small two bedroom house appeared in the distance. My father was sitting on the couch reading his favorite book when I walked through the door.

He didn’t bother looking up. “Long line at the laundry room? That seemed to take quite a while.”

“It was kind of long, yes. I’m sorry you had to wait so long. I ran into Mrs. Dashner, though, while I was waiting.”

“That’s nice dear,” he mumbled. He was no longer listening, instead engrossed in his book. I made to walk out of the room but he put the book down. “Please hurry with the packing. And why don’t you make sure to bring along that pretty dress you have. You’ll want to make a good impression.”

“Okay dad, no problem.”

I went to my father’s room first, packing his pants and his nicer shirts. I took the time to shine his good shoes, knowing he’d appreciate the effort. When I had packed everything I could in his bag except his bathroom toiletries, I moved into my room to do the same. I packed as many of my nice skirts and dresses that I had, which weren’t many, and made sure to pack a few pants, just in case I got some time for myself. I debated for the longest time whether I should pack all of my clothes, or just leave them. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know the outcome of this visit. We would meet with the governor and his son, an offer would be made to my father for my hand, and he would accept. I would be engaged to the young Driscoll before the end of the week. Sometimes I wondered if there was an afterlife, and if there was, what must Porter think of my life now? At other times, like this one in particular, I sincerely hoped that Porter was somewhere far away and completely removed from what was happening on Earth. I would’ve never wanted Porter to see me in the current state I was in.

I felt ashamed. I knew I was relenting to my father’s wishes too easily, but I really saw no other choice. On the other hand, I had no real proof that my theory would turn into a reality. Maybe my father and I would visit the governor’s mansion, and come home as if we were on a simple vacation. Maybe we’d have a very nice time. Maybe not.

I stayed in my room for a while longer after I had finished. I didn’t want to see my father. I didn’t want to be in his presence. I milled about and wasted time until I heard him call out that he was ready for his dinner. I took a deep breath before going out into the kitchen to cook dinner. We ate in silence that night, and as I slipped off to my room, I knew as sure as the sun would rise in the morning, that I wouldn’t be sleeping a wink.

I woke up first the next morning; the sun had barely begun its journey into the sky. Even though the heat was on in the house, I felt the chill of the morning air racing through my bones. I couldn’t help but shiver as I washed my face and brushed my hair out. I should have bathed, but I didn’t want to go through the effort. Instead I braided my hair and piled it on top of my head. Makeup was such a rare thing to have, and anyone who did paid a pretty penny for it, so I didn’t have any to put on. I put on my nicest skirt, which was a grey-ish blue color that came to about mid-calf, and my button up shirt I usually wore to church on Sunday. It was light pink with tiny white pinstripes and a sash that went around the middle. After slipping on the only pair of shoes I owned, a pair of flats that were a nude color, I reached for my mother’s necklace. Even though I felt like I hated her, I still wore the one thing she left behind, besides me, that is. I was a simple key pendant on an old gold chain. Dad would freak out if he ever saw that I had it, so I always tucked it away under my shirt. I was as ready as I was going to get. I quickly brushed my teeth and packed the rest of my restroom stuff in my bag before leaving the sanctuary that I called my room to go make breakfast.

A car came for us about mid-morning. I hadn’t been in one since we arrived at the base all those years ago. I slipped inside to settle in the back seat while my father loaded our bags in the back. He slid in next to me with a huge grin on his face, eager to get to the mansion. He tried making small talk on our way, but I remained silent. I saw no point in pretending that everything was okay. The trip would have taken us almost two hours if we had walked, but in the car, it was only a matter of fifteen to twenty minutes before we pulled up outside of the colonial style, two story building. It had red brick, tall white columns, and a dark blue colored door.

As we stepped out of the car, the door opened, and Governor Driscoll stepped out onto the porch to greet us. “Welcome, welcome! We’re so happy to have you here!” He jovially shook my father’s hand, and opened his arms to me, as if in invitation for a hug. I smiled politely and bowed my head, but I remained rooted to my spot. He gestured to the open door. “You can leave your bags; I’ll have someone take them to your rooms. Come on in and get comfortable. Are you hungry? I can have the chef prepare an early lunch for us.”

My father shook his head. “No, thank you. Piper made us a large breakfast this morning, so I’m not hungry. Are you, dear?” He turned to me expectantly.

I shook my head. “No sir.”

Driscoll smiled. “Okay then. Please come in. I’d like to introduce you to my son, Ivan.”

Here it was, the moment of truth. I tried to calm my nerves and quiet my pounding heart as I took the first few steps towards the front door and my fate. The foyer to the mansion had marble floors, cream colored walls, and dark wood accents. Just inside was a wide staircase leading up to the second floor. From my vantage point, I couldn’t tell what was straight back, but to the left side of me was a pretty sitting room. The furniture looked almost antique but very cozy surrounding the fire place. The walls were a soft golden color that contrasted nicely with the maroon color of the couch and two chairs. The carpet was almost white and looked very plush. I bet it would feel wonderful against my bare feet. The governor and my father were talking quietly to each other as I took in what was to the right of me. There was a small hallway leading into a formal dining room. The table and chairs were again a dark color wood. The marble flooring continued on into the room, but they had placed a large oriental style rug underneath the table to prevent it from sliding around. From what I could see, the governor had more money than my family had ever had, even before the dead started walking again.

I was brought back into the moment by the sound of the governor’s voice. “Ah, there he is. Come down here, son. I have someone I want you to meet.” I looked up, just now noticing the young man coming down the stairs. He was about six feet tall, had curly, sandy blond hair that looked like he tried to tame it, but it was too unruly and bright blue eyes. His lips curled into a polite smile as he looked down at me in curiosity. He was handsome enough, I supposed. There wasn’t much time for studying each other, because as soon as he reached the bottom step, Driscoll spoke again. “Piper Cheadle, I’d like you to meet my son, Ivan. Ivan, this is Piper Cheadle, your fiancé.”