Status: New
This Can't Be the End
Jack
Jack looked at Alex, confused as to why he would bring up that memory. As much as Jack loved that memory because he was so happy, he also didn’t want to think about a time when he thought Alex loved him just as much as he loved Alex. How had he been so wrong?
Alex looked awful; his hair was a mess around his unshaven face. His fringe was so long Jack could barely see his tired eyes, looking at Jack. He looked shocked, like he was seeing Jack for the first time in years and they both changed so much. His mouth was open slightly and his eyes searched all over Jack, but Jack didn’t know what he was searching for.
Finally, Alex said, “I-I think about that day a lot. I think about that kiss a lot… It was the best kiss I ever had.” Alex looked down then. “I always thought nothing could compare to it because it was my first kiss, but I was wrong. It had nothing to do with that fact that it was my first kiss, it only had to do with the fact that it was you I was kissing…”
Jack wished he could read Alex’s mind. Why was he saying this stuff? Jack didn’t understand; he searched for any hint that Alex was just playing him but… he looked so hurt and honest.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Alex flashed to Jack’s mind and that tiny sliver of hope that Alex could actually feel the same about Jack was vanishing once again. Jack hid his face in Rian’s damp chest, gripping onto him like he was the only thing keeping him from drowning. Rian’s arms tightened around Jack protectively but didn’t say anything.
He heard Alex sigh and then, “I know you hate me Jack. I completely deserve your hatred and you deserve so much better than me. But before you never talk to me again I need to tell you how I feel about you…” There was a long pause and Jack was beginning to think Alex left, but then he felt Rian nod and Jack peaked up to see Rian smiling approvingly at Alex. “I was really afraid to come here and face you because I know you hate me and didn’t want me here, but Lisa said something to me that made me realize why I needed to come here so bad and tell you… She said that you’re my best friend, my brother and I realized when she said that how wrong she was. You are my best friend, you are my support system, you are my rock but you are not my brother-” Jack cringed at his words, clutching tighter to Rian. Why was he doing this?
“Alex…” Rian said, cautiously but Alex ignored him.
“-because if you were my brother I could- I could never… do this-” Jack suddenly felt hands grab him and pull him away from Rian. Jack turned to look at Alex, but before he could he felt lips smash into his. Jack heard Rian gasp in shock as Jack wrapped his arms around the love of his life and kiss him back. Alex smiled into the kiss and pulled Jack into his lap, pressing themselves against each other. Jack’s heart exploded with happiness; he had waited so long for this moment. Alex pulled away after a couple seconds of pure bliss and looked at Jack smiling.
“I love you Jack Bassam Barakat. I’ve known I’ve loved you since that day at the lake… I’m just sorry I was too much of a pussy to tell you sooner…” Alex told him. Jack smiled at him, wishing he could tell him he loved him back, but the last time he did so…
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack cringed at the memory. Alex’s face tightened with confusion, “What’s wrong?”
Jack shook his head and smiled, wishing he could get the words out but not being able to.
“So what happens now?” Rian asked.
“Whatever Jack wants,” Alex smiled, holding onto Jack’s hand tightly. Jack so badly wanted to just crash his lips into Alex’s once more, but he looked back to where Matt and Lisa disappeared to.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack knew if he told Alex the truth that he wanted to be with him, it would just be ruining everything Alex had. Jack wanted to be the reason why Alex was happy, but he knew being with him and taking everything away, Jack wouldn’t be able to do that. So instead of doing what his heart ached him to do, he pushed Alex off of him, got up and ran away.
“Jack!” Jack heard both Rian and Alex yell. He knew they were chasing after him, but Jack didn’t know what else to do, he couldn’t be the reason for Alex’s suffering. He was probably just saying those things because he knew that’s what Jack wanted to hear. He couldn’t mean those things, how could anyone love stupid old Jack?
He ran past Matt and Lisa, who were shocked to see him running away. He got to his car, but the keys weren’t in the ignition.
“Jack? Jack are you okay? What happened?” Lisa was asking. Jack kept looking around all over for his keys… he could have sworn he left them in the ignition! Jack saw Alex and Rian coming into view; he started having a full blown panic attack. He had never gotten one before and it really freaked him out to be honest.
Alex and Rian got to the car and Matt asked, “What happened?”
“I don’t know!” Rian yelled. “One second they were made up and good and the next he was running away!”
Jack started banging his head against the steering wheel. “Fuck he’s having a panic attack!” Alex yelled, running to Lisa’s car. He ran back a few seconds later with something in his hands. “Jack I got something that will help just open the door and you will feel better I promise.”
Jack didn’t want to let anyone in, but he really couldn’t breathe! He looked at Alex through the window, he had such a worried look on his face. Jack closed his eyes and opened the door; he quickly felt Alex pulling him out of the drivers seat, situating Jack onto his lap on the ground. He had two pills in his hand and gave them to Jack, along with a warm water bottle. Jack took both pills, clutching onto Alex as he calmed down. Having Alex hold him made it a lot easier to calm down. Everything about Alex was soothing to Jack: his smell, his smile, the way his arms wrapped tightly around him like he would never let anything hurt him. When Jack caught his breath he realized Alex was singing to him.
“Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.” Alex sang, rubbing Jack’s back lovingly. Jack looked at him with tearful eyes. Lullabies? Why was he singing him that song…? Alex smiled down at him, “all better?”
Jack nodded. “Come now, let’s get you home,” Alex said, picking Jack up and carrying him to his car. Jack felt the notion odd and unnecessary considering Jack wasn’t hurt or tired, but if it meant Alex being so close to him for a little longer he would take it. Alex put Jack in the passenger side and went to the drivers side himself, after talking to everyone else for a few minutes. Lisa took Jack’s keys out of her purse and gave them to Alex hesitantly; “Okay we’ll meet you guys back at home,” Alex yelled out of the window before driving off.
The car ride was silent and Jack was staring out the window when he noticed they weren’t going the right way back home. He tapped Alex on the arm and pointed toward the exit they missed.
“Oh yeah, we’re not going home right away… There’s somewhere I wanna take you first…” Alex smiled. Jack sighed, butterflies filling his stomach. Where on earth could Alex be taking him?
Alex looked awful; his hair was a mess around his unshaven face. His fringe was so long Jack could barely see his tired eyes, looking at Jack. He looked shocked, like he was seeing Jack for the first time in years and they both changed so much. His mouth was open slightly and his eyes searched all over Jack, but Jack didn’t know what he was searching for.
Finally, Alex said, “I-I think about that day a lot. I think about that kiss a lot… It was the best kiss I ever had.” Alex looked down then. “I always thought nothing could compare to it because it was my first kiss, but I was wrong. It had nothing to do with that fact that it was my first kiss, it only had to do with the fact that it was you I was kissing…”
Jack wished he could read Alex’s mind. Why was he saying this stuff? Jack didn’t understand; he searched for any hint that Alex was just playing him but… he looked so hurt and honest.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Alex flashed to Jack’s mind and that tiny sliver of hope that Alex could actually feel the same about Jack was vanishing once again. Jack hid his face in Rian’s damp chest, gripping onto him like he was the only thing keeping him from drowning. Rian’s arms tightened around Jack protectively but didn’t say anything.
He heard Alex sigh and then, “I know you hate me Jack. I completely deserve your hatred and you deserve so much better than me. But before you never talk to me again I need to tell you how I feel about you…” There was a long pause and Jack was beginning to think Alex left, but then he felt Rian nod and Jack peaked up to see Rian smiling approvingly at Alex. “I was really afraid to come here and face you because I know you hate me and didn’t want me here, but Lisa said something to me that made me realize why I needed to come here so bad and tell you… She said that you’re my best friend, my brother and I realized when she said that how wrong she was. You are my best friend, you are my support system, you are my rock but you are not my brother-” Jack cringed at his words, clutching tighter to Rian. Why was he doing this?
“Alex…” Rian said, cautiously but Alex ignored him.
“-because if you were my brother I could- I could never… do this-” Jack suddenly felt hands grab him and pull him away from Rian. Jack turned to look at Alex, but before he could he felt lips smash into his. Jack heard Rian gasp in shock as Jack wrapped his arms around the love of his life and kiss him back. Alex smiled into the kiss and pulled Jack into his lap, pressing themselves against each other. Jack’s heart exploded with happiness; he had waited so long for this moment. Alex pulled away after a couple seconds of pure bliss and looked at Jack smiling.
“I love you Jack Bassam Barakat. I’ve known I’ve loved you since that day at the lake… I’m just sorry I was too much of a pussy to tell you sooner…” Alex told him. Jack smiled at him, wishing he could tell him he loved him back, but the last time he did so…
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack cringed at the memory. Alex’s face tightened with confusion, “What’s wrong?”
Jack shook his head and smiled, wishing he could get the words out but not being able to.
“So what happens now?” Rian asked.
“Whatever Jack wants,” Alex smiled, holding onto Jack’s hand tightly. Jack so badly wanted to just crash his lips into Alex’s once more, but he looked back to where Matt and Lisa disappeared to.
Everything’s finally going good for me why do you have to go and ruin it!
Jack knew if he told Alex the truth that he wanted to be with him, it would just be ruining everything Alex had. Jack wanted to be the reason why Alex was happy, but he knew being with him and taking everything away, Jack wouldn’t be able to do that. So instead of doing what his heart ached him to do, he pushed Alex off of him, got up and ran away.
“Jack!” Jack heard both Rian and Alex yell. He knew they were chasing after him, but Jack didn’t know what else to do, he couldn’t be the reason for Alex’s suffering. He was probably just saying those things because he knew that’s what Jack wanted to hear. He couldn’t mean those things, how could anyone love stupid old Jack?
He ran past Matt and Lisa, who were shocked to see him running away. He got to his car, but the keys weren’t in the ignition.
“Jack? Jack are you okay? What happened?” Lisa was asking. Jack kept looking around all over for his keys… he could have sworn he left them in the ignition! Jack saw Alex and Rian coming into view; he started having a full blown panic attack. He had never gotten one before and it really freaked him out to be honest.
Alex and Rian got to the car and Matt asked, “What happened?”
“I don’t know!” Rian yelled. “One second they were made up and good and the next he was running away!”
Jack started banging his head against the steering wheel. “Fuck he’s having a panic attack!” Alex yelled, running to Lisa’s car. He ran back a few seconds later with something in his hands. “Jack I got something that will help just open the door and you will feel better I promise.”
Jack didn’t want to let anyone in, but he really couldn’t breathe! He looked at Alex through the window, he had such a worried look on his face. Jack closed his eyes and opened the door; he quickly felt Alex pulling him out of the drivers seat, situating Jack onto his lap on the ground. He had two pills in his hand and gave them to Jack, along with a warm water bottle. Jack took both pills, clutching onto Alex as he calmed down. Having Alex hold him made it a lot easier to calm down. Everything about Alex was soothing to Jack: his smell, his smile, the way his arms wrapped tightly around him like he would never let anything hurt him. When Jack caught his breath he realized Alex was singing to him.
“Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.” Alex sang, rubbing Jack’s back lovingly. Jack looked at him with tearful eyes. Lullabies? Why was he singing him that song…? Alex smiled down at him, “all better?”
Jack nodded. “Come now, let’s get you home,” Alex said, picking Jack up and carrying him to his car. Jack felt the notion odd and unnecessary considering Jack wasn’t hurt or tired, but if it meant Alex being so close to him for a little longer he would take it. Alex put Jack in the passenger side and went to the drivers side himself, after talking to everyone else for a few minutes. Lisa took Jack’s keys out of her purse and gave them to Alex hesitantly; “Okay we’ll meet you guys back at home,” Alex yelled out of the window before driving off.
The car ride was silent and Jack was staring out the window when he noticed they weren’t going the right way back home. He tapped Alex on the arm and pointed toward the exit they missed.
“Oh yeah, we’re not going home right away… There’s somewhere I wanna take you first…” Alex smiled. Jack sighed, butterflies filling his stomach. Where on earth could Alex be taking him?