A Candle in the Dark

He sat down beside her, his body inside the small tent but his legs stretched out on the dirt. He hadn’t even asked if he could, he just did it. But Astrid didn’t mind. She never would have admitted it, but she liked having him there. There was a warmth that he brought with him that filled her hollow bones, and made her think that maybe everything wasn’t hopeless after all.

Ezra was sitting with his hands knitted loosely in front of him, and he gestured with the tips of his fingers as he spoke. “You can’t keep thinking like that, Astrid. It’s morbid and wrong. We’re alive, and that’s what matters.”

It took all of the confidence she could muster up to let her head fall on his shoulder. Ezra tensed for a fraction of a second, his eyes flicking toward her, and then he relaxed. But it wasn’t the end of her movements. Her fingers moved slowly, but her heart was racing. Astrid stuck her hand between his entwined ones and pushed them apart, carefully placing her fingers in the gaps. It could’ve been her imagination, but she thought she heard Ezra breathe in sharply, as though his heartbeat had suddenly stopped.

“Can you promise me something?” she asked.

“Of course,” he answered without skipping a beat.

“Don’t let me forget what you said. About being alive and hope and all that.”

“I won’t,” Ezra said, squeezing her fingers.

A few minutes later Maddie was standing before them. In that time, neither had moved. There was a grin across her face, and she planted a hand on her hip. “Well, that was fast.”

Ezra rolled his eyes and stood up, dropping Astrid’s hand in the process. He wiped off his jeans and saluted them with two fingers. “Night, ladies.”

All of Astrid’s left side felt cold from his absence. She knew that wasn’t a good sign. Like he’d mentioned, it had been less than twenty-four hours. It felt like days had passed already, she didn’t want to think about how long a week would feel in the camp. Adjusting to living in the same place was probably the biggest change next to suddenly being surrounded by actual living people.

There was a bit of shuffling as Maddie sat down, her legs criss-crossed. “Are we going to talk about that?”

“It was nothing,” said Astrid immediately.

“You just don’t know each other very well. Ezra is a fantastic guy, one of the best there is, but please don’t do anything now. There’s time left for this sort of thing to develop naturally.” Maddie said, her voice echoing with sadness. She set her pale eyes, which stood out so sharply against her caramel skin, on Astrid’s.

“Do you love him?” Astrid asked, her voice meek.

Maddie laughed. “No, not Ezra. He’s a good friend. I’m in love with somebody else.”

“Who?” She couldn’t help it. She was curious.

“He’s not here.”

These days, you didn’t need to clarify further. If they weren’t around, that meant they weren’t on Earth at all.

“He’s not dead,” said Maddie, before Astrid’s thoughts could go anywhere else. “He’s just not the type of company we like to keep in our peaceful camp.”

Astrid’s eyebrows knit together as she struggled to understand. “What do you mean? Is he...a Walker?”

“Oh, fuck no. He would never let that happen, and neither would I.” Maddie paused, pushing loose dreadlocks behind her ears. “Brady is a Snatcher.”

From what Astrid knew of Snatchers, they kidnapped humans and set them against packs of Walkers. Just for fun. Astrid understood why Maddie might not want one of them hanging around the camp. But she only knew about them because Maddie had told her that they were around where they’d met. She wondered then if the dreadlocked woman wasn’t just out hunting deer, but to see her estranged love.

The rustling next to her was from Maddie sliding into her sleeping bag. It was clear a few minutes later that she was sound asleep. Astrid set upon positioning herself so that her head was at the door, where she could be close to Monroe. The German Shepherd wouldn’t fit in the tent, and Astrid doubted Maddie would even let her try.

Monroe had her head on her paws, and was looking at Astrid with somber eyes. She’d been restless since they arrived. Astrid suspected that, like her, Monroe would need time to get used to the new stationary lifestyle.

As she settled in to sleep, Astrid’s mind argued over whether or not she should continue on her path. While it was true that Ezra brought her comfort she hadn’t felt in over a month, attachment was dangerous. Just having Monroe around brought her enough stress as it was. Astrid decided, her eyelids drifting shut, to remain aloof to any of Ezra’s advances. It was, she thought, the only way to stay safe.