Panophobia

I snapped my phone onto the table in Becky’s house, groaning. Bones hasn’t picked up any of our calls for the past few days; she never ignores me though, and it hurts a lot. Becky and Randi have told me that sometimes Bones gets into bouts of depression, but she usually snaps out of it in a day or two, and everyone else has witnessed this. But it’s been four days, and every call, text, and message has gone unanswered.

“God damnit,” I muttered under my breath, looking up at Becky.

“What? Did she not answer again?” I nodded, and Becky shook her head. “It just doesn’t make sense. Should we go to her house?”

“I don’t know,” I tipped my head back and burned holes in the ceiling with my eyes.

Tony spoke up from his spot on the couch, “C’mon, let’s just go check in on her. As annoying as she is, we should make sure she’s okay and nothing’s wrong.”

I sighed, “Sure, let’s go.”

We all walked into Tony’s car in silence, Tony in the driver’s seat, Becky in shotgun, and I was slumped in the back.

I took out my phone and sent a text to Beau: We're heading to Bones' house. She hasn't talked to anyone in four days.

It didn’t take long to show up, her home was around five minutes away. She lives alone in her own studio apartment; she was emancipated when she turned sixteen, paying for herself from working at a local daycare and being a waitress at a restaurant. It’s usually fun having her live by herself because she didn’t have any limits or anything to tie her down, but in times like these, it’d be really convenient if she did live with someone.

“Kellin, can you go knock on the door?” Becky asked, turning to face me.

“Yeah,” I pocketed my phone and exited the car, jogging up the stairs and going to her apartment on the third floor.

I knocked, making sure it was loud, my knuckles turning white at the contact. About a minute passed, and I rolled my eyes, knocking again. When there was still no answer, I grabbed the knob of the door in false hope, but to my surprise it opened. Bones would be like the kind of person to leave the door unlocked. I stepped in, and stopped dead in my tracks.

“Holy shit,” I whispered to myself. Her futon was flipped over, the pillows and blankets strewn on the floor. A photo frame holding a picture of her niece was cracked, the photo slipping out of the gash. The fairy lights that were supposed to be hung up along the edge of the ceiling were thrown to the ground, tangled up, the glass smashed.

I automatically grabbed my phone and clicked on the name that would help most in this situation.

“Yeah?” Beau answered.

“Bones’ house is a fucking wreck.”

There was a pause of urgent silence, before Beau uttered, “I’m on my way.”

I nodded, knowing full well he couldn’t see, and hung up, sticking my phone in my pocket. I ran out the door, leaving it cracked, and sprinted to Tony’s car. I was out of breath when I reached it, both of them giving me concerned looks through the window. Becky threw her door open, her brows raised.

“Any particular reason you’re running?” she asked.

“You… need to, shit I ran too fast. You need to fucking look,” I said, my breathing going crazy. “I called Beau, he’s coming.”

At that, their eyes opened wide, and they hopped out of the car and jogged back to the apartment with me. The stairs made a ringing sound, probably attacking the ears of anyone else in the building, but we didn’t care. I elbowed Bones’ door open, and we all entered slowly.

“Oh my god,” Becky breathed out, giving me a questioning look.

“It looks like she was ransacked,” Tony said, looking around, stepping into the room even more. I shut the door, so no wondering eyes could look inside. “See, the sliding door has fucking cracks in it… like someone was pushed against it.”

I walked over to look, seeing he was right.

“Her phone is right here,” Becky said, picking up the slim, black rectangle. She tapped in the password, unlocking it, a photo of us as her background. It was of Becky, Tony, Bones, Jaime, Vic, and I in a frozen yogurt shop. That was a really nice memory. “She has fifty nine missed calls, and seventy texts.”

“Fuck,” I said, Tony and I making eye contact, looking as freaked out as the other.

A knock was on the door, and I opened it, pulling Beau in.

“Shit,” he said, taking in the sight all at once. “Did you find it like this?”

“Yeah, we didn’t move anything except her phone,” I jutted my chin in Becky’s direction.

He looked solemn, and all three of us gravitated near him. Beau stepped forward, looking at everything; the broken lights, the cracked glass, her flipped bed, everything. Becky’s head turned towards the ground, and she bent, picking something up in her hand. It was Bones’ grim reaper figurine and she named Stewart, one of her prized possessions. The right leg was broken off, lying in the palm of Becky’s hand. Bones’ loved that thing like a child loves its first teddy. Becky shoved the reaper in Tony’s pocket, which was bigger than hers.

“Someone broke in, probably took her. It looks like she put up one hell of a fight,” Beau spoke, flipping the mattress back over. “One of you, get me a knife from her kitchen. Someone else, get me her hairbrush.”

Tony went to the kitchenette, pulling open drawers. Becky walked to the bathroom, flicking the light on. I walked to Beau, slowing kneeling down so we were eye-level. His eyes were fixated on a stain.

“Here,” Tony said from behind us, and we turned to see him holding a black steak knife. Beau took it from him, nodding his head, turning back to the stain on the bed.

Beau started cutting around the stain, in messy stabs, so the stain was being isolated and cut off.

“What is it?” I asked, as soon as he was done. He looked at me with sad eyes.

“Is Bones sexually active?”

“No,” Becky, Tony, and I all said in unison, and it would have been funny in different circumstances.

“It’s semen.”

I closed my eyes; that was one of the worst things I could have heard, and it even sickens me more because Bones had confided in me that she was scared of losing her virginity due to some men from her past. Turning, my sorry eyes saw Tony with a protective arm around Becky, her eyes glassy with tears; Tony’s jaw was clenched, looking like he would be able to kill the guy who left the stain. A gray brush was in Becky’s hands, full of hair that was like the strands on the pillowcase that Beau was now examining.

I threw my face in my hands; Bones was like my best friend, always making me laugh, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. My fingers were moist, not surprising me. I never thought that something like this would happen to me again; not that it would happened to someone like Bones, who’s a fighter.

-

Tony and Becky decided to go back to Becky’s house, and I insisted on going to the station with Beau. I felt like Becky and Tony needed some time, and I didn’t feel safe going back to an empty house. The option to go to Vic’s was always there, but I didn’t want to face him now. I need to collect myself.

We stepped into Beau’s office, where I sipped on water, and he grabbed his phone and called Lights. He told her that Bones was missing and he found DNA. She came through the door a couple of minutes later, but she wasn’t alone.

“Jack?” I asked, seeing my friend walk through the door. Of all people, I didn’t expect to see Jack Fowler here.

“Hey.”

“You know each other?” Lights asked, looking at the two of us.

“Yeah, we’ve been going to school together since kindergarten,” Jack said, looking as confused as everyone else.

Lights placed her hands on Beau’s desk, saying, “Jack called in earlier, reporting a young woman missing right after you left. A young woman who lived in the apartment complex you were at.”

Beau eyed Jack, who sat down on the chair next to me.

“How do you know her?”

“I live in the neighborhood surrounding the apartments. I used to see her walk past my house every day, so it was easy to notice when she stopped passing.”

Beau nodded, “So you don’t know anything about her.”

“I only know that she’s really pretty. Nothing else.”

“Bones takes online, so she doesn’t know my friends from school,” I spoke up, saving Jack from any of Beau’s suspicion.

“Cool name,” Jack said.

“Well, Jack,” Lights said, recapturing all of our attention, “it seems that you were right when you said she’s been missing. She’s one of Kellin’s friends, and she also helps out here.”

“Lights?” I said, and she looked over at me. “Beau found some stains in her house, and we also have Bones’ hairbrush.”

The brush was in my hands, and I was twirling it before I handed it over to Lights’ dainty hands. She looked up at Beau.

“Where’s the stain?” He dug the plastic zip back out of his pocket, which held the cut fabric. “Do you think…?” she trailed off.

Beau nodded, and I knew they were wondering if it was the same guy who took Kailey.

“We’ll be right back,” Lights said, grabbing Beau’s sleeve and leading him out the door. I knew she was taking it to the forensic lab.

“Kellin?” I looked over at Jack. “What’s going on?”

I sighed, “You know how Kailey was… taken?” He nodded. “We’ve been looking into the case again, and now we think Bones was taken by the same guy. She’s one of my friends and she was helping out with the case.”

I leaned back into the cushions of the chair.

great we’re already one man down

“What are you doing with the whole case? What are you guys doing?”

“We… we were gonna go look for Kailey again. Bones was supposed to come along and help search with us. But now that Bones is gone, we have to work even harder for the next two days.”

“You know, I could take her place on your team, or whatever.”

“Really?” I asked, my head snapping to make sure he wasn’t bullshitting.

“Really. I swear to you, Kellin, I’ll help.”

I smiled, giving him a shove on the arm. “You have no idea how much that helps.”

“Anything for a friend… and a hot chick.”

My eyes rolled, “You’re lucky I saved your ass when Beau was in here! You sounded like a complete fucking creeper.”

“I did? Sorry, she walks past my house everyday for that last year or something. How old is she?”

“Tomorrow will be her seventeenth birthday,” my throat went dry, and I drank another gulp of water.

We were all planning a surprise party for her. We all got her little gifts; she doesn’t like getting frivolous things. Tay baked her cookies and I even had Katherine make her a cake smothered in Nutilla and chocolate chips.

Jack’s firm hand pressed against my shoulder, patting it. “We’ll find her and Kailey, man.”

-

“Hey Kellin!” Nikki called out when the bell over her shop door rang, her back turned to me. Call it a last resort, but this was the first thing to pop into my mind. “You know I’m closing up soon.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just need help with something.”

She turned, the smile on her face disappearing. Rushing to me, she placed her hands on my cheeks, one going up to check my temperature.

“You’re troubled,” she said, dropping her hands and making me follow her to the back room. Another woman was in there, packing things in boxes. “Kellin, this is my assistant and best friend, Trisha.”

She gave me a polite smile and shook my hand before she left, leaving Nikki and I to work on what I came for.

“Something happened to your friend,” she said, her eyes flicking to my messenger bag. I nodded, reaching in, and taking out the stack of photos Adam took.

“There are photos from the night my sister went missing. Bones, one of my best friends, has gone missing and I think the same guy who took Kailey to her,” I handed the photos over to her. “Everyone in these pictures is a suspect, and you’re the only person I think can single it down.”

Her hands flipped through the photos, throwing them down one-by-one. I looked at the ones she tossed down, seeing a photo of myself, Justin, and Jesse. I flipped it over – I didn’t need memories right now. I had to keep it together. She held three photos and handed one to me.

“Look at the time on the back.”

I looked finding that it was taken at 2:30am. It was a random photo of a girl named Elissa.

“Okay?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That was the last photo in the bunch,” she slid another over, “this one was snapped around one in the morning.”

It was a photo of a boy I recognized as Jackson. He graduated around two years ago, and never went to college, so he’s stuck working at a Starbucks, writing ridiculous fake names for teenage girls. We used to work together, but I quit at the start of this year.

“What about it?”

“Just one second,” she placed the last photo down; one of Parker and Kailey. “This was taken right before the one of the boy. All the photos shot after those don’t include your sister, you, or that boy. Like you all left at the same time.”

It clicked in my head. She’s right, Jackson left when I pulled Kailey from Parker.

“He did it!” I yelled, chucking the photos to the ground. I am so fucking angry.

I never thought anything of this guy. Fuck! This dude has made me coffee since Kailey fucking disappeared!

“Are you fucking serious?” I yelled, pacing around the small space. “I can’t fucking believe this! What fucking bullshit! God, I hate this guy! I hate-“

Nikki slapped me, “You need to calm down,” she said, grabbing the shoulder on my jacket and dragging me to the main room where Trisha was.

I sat down, taking my phone out, seeing I had twelve texts from Vic, asking where I was, and if I was okay, and that if I didn’t text him back he’s going to drive to my house.

To Vic: Stop, please. I’m with one of my friends. I don’t need you babying me all the time.

From Vic: Are you fucking serious? After this shit with Bones, I don’t want to take any chances. You should be happy someone has your fucking back Kels.

To Vic: Don’t call me that.

From Vic: Which friend are you with?

I pursed my lips, closing the texts. Does Vic fucking understand that he’s getting overbearing and that I can handle myself?

“Uh, I have to disagree with that,” Trisha spoke up, looking at me from behind a counter, where she was sketching something.

“With what?” I asked.

“That you can handle yourself.”

“And how would you know?” I spat out.

“Because you’re overly angry at your boyfriend for caring about your well being. People who can handle themselves wouldn’t be mad.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“She’s right, you know,” Nikki spoke up, concentrating on what Trisha was drawing.

My phone rang, a photo of Vic and I smiling at each other popping up. I was going to decline, but I looked at the hard stares from the women in front of me, and I reluctantly accepted the call.

“Hello,” I sounded annoyed.

“Where are you?! You’re worrying me!” his voice sounded on the other end.

“I’m just at Nikki’s shop, is there anything wrong with that?!”

“Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?”

“You’re breathing down my neck all the damn time, why can you just let up?”

“Why? Why? You’re asking me why?! Because of everything going on! I don’t want any of my friends or family going off alone, but I know that most of them can take care of themselves! You, on the other hand, are so helpless!”

“How can you say that? I can be smart! What about Bones? Everyone thought she could take care of herself, but look at her now!”

“You shut up about Bones! That’s your best fucking friend, you know better than to speak like that!”

I hung my head down, plopping into the chair, squeezing the bridge of my nose.

“I don’t want to fight you,” he said, quietly. “Can you please tell me where you are?”

“The fortune-telling shop in the art district.”

“I’m picking you up. Beau and Lights want all of us working to head to the station. They sounded urgent.”

“Okay,” I said, feeling defeated.

“I’m heading over now. I love you.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, hanging up, putting the phone in my pocket.

Trisha walked over, handing me the paper she had marked up.

“It’s a map,” she said, “you go there tonight and look for your friend.”

“Oh, and how do you know that this place is where she is?”

She shrugged, “I just know things.”

A honk was heard outside the shop, and I turned and saw Vic’s car.

“Bye Kellin,” Nikki said, giving me a quick hug and Trisha just patting my back.

“Can I come back after we’re done?”

Nikkie looked sad, “No, Kellin. We’re leaving town.”

“Oh,” I looked down. “And next you’re gonna tell me that we can’t talk anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, “Save it.”

It had started raining, and I lifted my hood over my head, squishing my hair down; the sketch was folded and I shoved it in my pocket. I looked at Nikki’s shop one last time, before seeing her in the window, waving. I nodded, feeling tears slip out of my eyes, and got into the passenger seat of Vic’s car. He didn’t even look at me before he drove off, not buckling my seatbelt for me, not even asking why I was crying. I was trying to stifle my harsh breath; the silence between us has never been so awkward.

“There’s a raincoat in the back for you,” he said, turning a corner. I nodded for the millionth time today, biting on my jacket sleep.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, biting my lip. He finally looked at me, his hair sopping wet.

“Well, shit, Kellin. I’ve been worried sick about you for the past three days, and when you finally decide to talk to me, you’re mad because I care about you?” I let a little sob out of my lips, and buried my face in my knees, but he kept on talking. “I’m scared too, okay. I have to sit and watch all this shit happen too, but you don’t even ask me how I feel. I get fucking nightmares over this, and no one cares to talk about it. I have to sit around and watch all my friends break down, and I can’t do anything about it. It’s not all about you, okay?”

He didn’t say anything after that, and we finally got to the station after what seemed like eons. Everyone who said they’d help were waiting outside under an awning. I ran out of his car, straight to GM and Tay. Everyone gave me confused looks but I ignored it. Vic came a minute after, holding the raincoat. I took it from him, reaching into my pocket, and digging up the map Trisha drew up. I handed it to Beau, who unfolded it.

“What makes you think we should go here?” he asked, eyeing me, looking skeptical.

I recalled what Trisha said.

“I just know things.”