The Girl Next Door
Chapter 21
*Harry's P.O.V*
I hated this. Being mean to Kaleigh when she's the last person who deserved it. But I pushed those thoughts in the back of my head for now, because I had one very important thing to do. As I walked around, trying desperately to control my breathing, I found him. He was passed out behind a picnic table and nobody could really see him.
"What is happening, dad?" I asked as I slumped down next to him. I knew he wouldn't answer, but I wanted, no, needed him to hear what I had to say. "Why am I never enough for you?" I asked just above a whisper. I felt a lump in my throat and that made me pissed. I never cried.
"Do you realize that I'm being a total jackass to a girl that is just as innocent and as beautiful as mom? She doesn't like me that way. How could she? I treat her like she's a piece of unwanted gum under my shoe, even though she's all I think about. Because I don't know how else you treat someone you love." I surprise myself at my own confession. It's the first time I've admitted that to myself, let alone say it out loud.
"And I blame you. Mom is always so nice to you, she'd give you the damn moon if she could. And what do you do? You forget her birthday." I spat, remembering the look on her face last week. The complete sadness filled her eyes, but she still smiled, shrugging and saying it didn't matter, that there were stuff more important than that. He muttered a half-apology and called it a day. But the worst part is that he hid it so well from the outside world. Yeah, people knew he liked to drink, but they didn't know how much it ruined our family.
"So what do we do now, huh? You're supposed to be a role-model, dad. I'm supposed to look up to you. And you're supposed to be proud of me every once in a while." I whispered the last part as my eyes began to water. I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, feeling the frustration washed through me and I welcomed it. Anger would always be my home. Tears were strangers and I didn't care for them.
I got up without another word. Everything was just so screwed up. And I just didn't know how to fix them.
I hated this. Being mean to Kaleigh when she's the last person who deserved it. But I pushed those thoughts in the back of my head for now, because I had one very important thing to do. As I walked around, trying desperately to control my breathing, I found him. He was passed out behind a picnic table and nobody could really see him.
"What is happening, dad?" I asked as I slumped down next to him. I knew he wouldn't answer, but I wanted, no, needed him to hear what I had to say. "Why am I never enough for you?" I asked just above a whisper. I felt a lump in my throat and that made me pissed. I never cried.
"Do you realize that I'm being a total jackass to a girl that is just as innocent and as beautiful as mom? She doesn't like me that way. How could she? I treat her like she's a piece of unwanted gum under my shoe, even though she's all I think about. Because I don't know how else you treat someone you love." I surprise myself at my own confession. It's the first time I've admitted that to myself, let alone say it out loud.
"And I blame you. Mom is always so nice to you, she'd give you the damn moon if she could. And what do you do? You forget her birthday." I spat, remembering the look on her face last week. The complete sadness filled her eyes, but she still smiled, shrugging and saying it didn't matter, that there were stuff more important than that. He muttered a half-apology and called it a day. But the worst part is that he hid it so well from the outside world. Yeah, people knew he liked to drink, but they didn't know how much it ruined our family.
"So what do we do now, huh? You're supposed to be a role-model, dad. I'm supposed to look up to you. And you're supposed to be proud of me every once in a while." I whispered the last part as my eyes began to water. I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, feeling the frustration washed through me and I welcomed it. Anger would always be my home. Tears were strangers and I didn't care for them.
I got up without another word. Everything was just so screwed up. And I just didn't know how to fix them.