The Girl Next Door
Chapter 51
I had been staring at the closed journal for the past 10 minutes. Every time I brought my hand close, I quickly pulled back, cursing myself mentally both for invading his privacy and for being such a wuss. I finally took a deep breath and opened it and before I could stop myself, my eyes were staring at his handwriting. It was broken and beautiful...just like him. The word 'family' was scribbled on top of it. I had to close my eyes briefly to mentally prepare myself as to what I was about to read. When I opened my eyes again, it felt like I dove head first into Harry's mind, and that both frightened and excited me at the same time. I started reading:
'Family. Is there really a definition for it? I mean, yeah, the typical family would be parents and their kids. But what about what really matters, you know? What about people who don't have such luck? I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who thinks family shouldn't have to be blood related. I'd be an idiot to say my best mate isn't family. Niall was there for me all those times my father should have. Is that weird?
And my worst fear is that I'll end up like him. Like my father. Hell, it's already started. I treat people like crap just so it gives me an excuse to not have any expectations to live up to. How sad is that? On second thought, don't answer that, teach. The last thing I want is pity. I'd rather be hated than be given that look. The one that says "it's okay, I understand, poor boy." The one my mother gives me everyday after my dad told me I was a failure once again.
What are we supposed to write in these things anyway? What the hell do you want from us? Well congrats, mister Gilmore, I think you got way more than what you bargained for with this entry.'
And that was it. That was the first journal entry. I took a deep breathe as I let it all sink in. I never thought Harry would be so brutally honest in a journal, let alone for a class that I seriously thought he had no interest in. I shook my head in disbelief as I looked around my room. It felt so strange now, to look at my things when I had been thrown into his world. In a sick, twisted way, it felt good to feel his misery instead of mine. It felt refreshing almost. I shook my head a little and brought my hand at the corner of the page, ready to face the second entry.
'Family. Is there really a definition for it? I mean, yeah, the typical family would be parents and their kids. But what about what really matters, you know? What about people who don't have such luck? I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who thinks family shouldn't have to be blood related. I'd be an idiot to say my best mate isn't family. Niall was there for me all those times my father should have. Is that weird?
And my worst fear is that I'll end up like him. Like my father. Hell, it's already started. I treat people like crap just so it gives me an excuse to not have any expectations to live up to. How sad is that? On second thought, don't answer that, teach. The last thing I want is pity. I'd rather be hated than be given that look. The one that says "it's okay, I understand, poor boy." The one my mother gives me everyday after my dad told me I was a failure once again.
What are we supposed to write in these things anyway? What the hell do you want from us? Well congrats, mister Gilmore, I think you got way more than what you bargained for with this entry.'
And that was it. That was the first journal entry. I took a deep breathe as I let it all sink in. I never thought Harry would be so brutally honest in a journal, let alone for a class that I seriously thought he had no interest in. I shook my head in disbelief as I looked around my room. It felt so strange now, to look at my things when I had been thrown into his world. In a sick, twisted way, it felt good to feel his misery instead of mine. It felt refreshing almost. I shook my head a little and brought my hand at the corner of the page, ready to face the second entry.