Worthless

Shit, it happened again. When will you stop Julia? When will you have had enough? This is why you can't just stay with someone, because you are weak and no one wants that. Oh god, who am I even in a bed with right now? Should I roll over and see, or should I just leave and disappear again? He is waking up, oh god.

"Hey there sexy, it was a nice night with you last night. You did some amazing things for me and for you seeming so innocent, you are kind of slutty. I like that." Chris said as he rolled back over to sleep again. Chris... Chris.. Chris Roetter. He is in Like Moths to Flames as their lead vocalist. How did I even end up here with him? I can't remember. Maybe things are better if I don't know how it happened. I need to leave. So that is exactly what I did. I got up, put on some clothes that I found on the ground, which I am guessing weren't mine but who cares at this point, and I left the tour van.

Once I stepped outside, the sun was shining so bright and it was belting into my eyes as if it was burning. What time is it? I asked the person who was passing me. "The time is 1:25pm, cutie." And he winked and walked off. I don't know who that was, but I need to go and get something to eat. I walked to the closest tent to see if they had something to eat and stumbled upon the wrong tent. It so happened to be a merch tent for Memphis May Fire. "Hello, excuse me, by chance do you have any food? I am really hungry and I honestly don't know what is going on with me right now." I asked the charming man standing in front of me. "Sorry doll, but we only have a bottle of water. Here, have it. You need some food. Hey Cory, take here to go get some food." Matty replied to me. He was a really cute red head and seemed to have a sense of humor to him as well. I walked off with Cory, who told me that he was their bass player. He got me some fries and sat down in some open patch of grass with me. We talked for a short amount of time and asked me if I was thirsty. I had finished the water that Matty gave to me and I was a tad bit thirsty. "We have drinks in our tour bus, would you like me to get you one?" Cory asked and waited for me to reply. "Um, sure." He went to go walk off to the tour bus and I stayed sitting in the grass. I felt lonely because I didn't know anyone there so I ran to catch up with him before he was out of my sight. "Hey, I was just wondering if I could come with so I won't sit there alone, if you don't mind." I smiled and kept walking with Cory. Once we reached the tour bus, he told me to wait outside so he could get me a drink. He came out a minute or so later and handed me a cup with Pepsi in it. "Sorry, I am a huge germ freak so I never drink it out of the can, so I hope you don't mind." I started drinking it and it made my stomach kind of hurt so I asked if I could use their restroom in the bus.

It took me a while in the bathroom because I felt really warm and not myself. I finally decided to clean up a bit and leave the restroom. Once I was out, their was some music playing. I felt really bubbly and excited. At the same time I felt really relaxed. "Cory, what music is playing? Is this Elvis?" He walked out from the back room and started spinning me in circles and singing to me. It was cute, but at the same time I still wasn't feeling well. I decided to go along with it and kept spinning and laughing. I was having a good time. He then moved in close and was dancing with his hands on my hips, as I continued laughing. Wait, what is going on? Why am I letting this happen? I just met him and all he did was buy me food and get me a drink. But, he didn't buy it for me... Why didn't he just buy it for me? Wait, it is because he is a germ freak... Right. Next thing I knew, Cory's lips were against mine. He pulled me close with his hands wrapped around me. I seemed to be going along with it and I don't know why. He picked me up and tossed me in his bed and I was all over him. I undressed him and gradually started letting everything happen. It's happening again, like it always does. I am letting myself go and I was letting myself enjoy it. But then he whispered something to me. "You are doing just great, this is why I have heard about you so much. Everyone talks about you. You seem to get around. Slut."