Worthless
Losing Sight
"Hey cutie, how are you feeling?" I woke up and Cory was talking to me and I just looked at him. I am laying in his bed naked and he doesn't even know me. What do I do? You leave, that's what you always do and that's you need to do again. "You need to get out of the tour bus, the guys are going to be coming back and you can't be here" Well... that's a way to put it. So I grabbed my clothes and right before I opened the door, he grabbed me and said, "Go on ahead, go screw someone else later on. And you know, while you're at it, go screw another 5 guys. Just keep going. Just remember, you are ruining yourself. You see, I tried to help you. I got you food, and took you to get a drink and maybe, just maybe, put a little something in it to make things happen. But you didn't even stop yourself. You think I am a germ freak? Honestly? How can I be one and still decide to get with you. Get out please. Now." And so I left after his last words to me, and I left crying. How could you be so stupid Julia? No, don't beat yourself up over this, it's who you are. You are a whore. Good going.
As I walked off, I went and watched the ending of the All Time Low set. It wasn't even the end of the day yet and it felt like a whole day had passed in that tour bus. It's funny because everyone at the set is standing in the crowd near someone they like, love, or are friends with. And I came here alone because this is the only place I can feel like I mean something because I throw myself at guys. The set just ended, and now what do I do? I have no where to go. I don't have money or a place to stay. "Hey, you swinging for a place to stay hot stuff?" I turned around and some guy who I feel like I have seen before was talking to me. Wait, I remember him, he is the lead singer from Asking Alexandria... Danny. I have seen him in interviews before on Youtube. I might as well say hello. "What are you doing at Warped Tour all alone? You look lonely and lost." He stumbled over and touched my shoulder. "How about you stay in our tour bus tonight? We always have a party going on." So, I went with him.
At the tour bus I got to meet the rest of the band. They were all really nice and all of them were drinking. Ben, James, and Cameron kept hollering at me and making me laugh. They were sweet. I don't know where Sam was though which concerned me. They all kept asking me if I wanted to drink but I said I didn't want anything, and then they popped out the "party". I saw them all getting out pills and taking them while chugging it down with liquor. They told me I had to at least try the pills, because it would take away any misery and pain. I was quick to grab it and take it. I chugged it down with some soda and then the real party started. The music became so loud, and I was seeing things. Everyone's laughter sounded so much louder than normal and everyone was moving, but I wasn't sure if they were dancing or standing still.
Next thing you know, we were all jumping up and down on the couch, which did break. Everyone was just going crazy and some were on their beds and others were still jumping on the broken couch. I stood in the middle and was just crying. All the men came over and were wondering if I was okay. They group hugged me, which went a little longer than normal hugs, and I could feel someones hand reaching down between my legs. They were rubbing my thighs. I pushed everyone off and ran to the bathroom and puked. I couldn't handle the drugs, but I still had the side effects from them. I walked over to the broken couch and laid down. Danny and James came over and asked me if they could lie next to me. I was okay with it so we were all laying there. I then started to make out with Danny and it got really intense. My clothes were pulled off, and he was touching me everywhere. It felt great and I was loving it. Then I could feel someone touching me from my backside as well. It was James. Next thing I knew, they were both all over me. I have never had this experience. I didn't know what to expect but the drugs took away any pain I felt. This was happening, and all I knew is that I would wake up in another bed and it would be nothing new.
As I walked off, I went and watched the ending of the All Time Low set. It wasn't even the end of the day yet and it felt like a whole day had passed in that tour bus. It's funny because everyone at the set is standing in the crowd near someone they like, love, or are friends with. And I came here alone because this is the only place I can feel like I mean something because I throw myself at guys. The set just ended, and now what do I do? I have no where to go. I don't have money or a place to stay. "Hey, you swinging for a place to stay hot stuff?" I turned around and some guy who I feel like I have seen before was talking to me. Wait, I remember him, he is the lead singer from Asking Alexandria... Danny. I have seen him in interviews before on Youtube. I might as well say hello. "What are you doing at Warped Tour all alone? You look lonely and lost." He stumbled over and touched my shoulder. "How about you stay in our tour bus tonight? We always have a party going on." So, I went with him.
At the tour bus I got to meet the rest of the band. They were all really nice and all of them were drinking. Ben, James, and Cameron kept hollering at me and making me laugh. They were sweet. I don't know where Sam was though which concerned me. They all kept asking me if I wanted to drink but I said I didn't want anything, and then they popped out the "party". I saw them all getting out pills and taking them while chugging it down with liquor. They told me I had to at least try the pills, because it would take away any misery and pain. I was quick to grab it and take it. I chugged it down with some soda and then the real party started. The music became so loud, and I was seeing things. Everyone's laughter sounded so much louder than normal and everyone was moving, but I wasn't sure if they were dancing or standing still.
Next thing you know, we were all jumping up and down on the couch, which did break. Everyone was just going crazy and some were on their beds and others were still jumping on the broken couch. I stood in the middle and was just crying. All the men came over and were wondering if I was okay. They group hugged me, which went a little longer than normal hugs, and I could feel someones hand reaching down between my legs. They were rubbing my thighs. I pushed everyone off and ran to the bathroom and puked. I couldn't handle the drugs, but I still had the side effects from them. I walked over to the broken couch and laid down. Danny and James came over and asked me if they could lie next to me. I was okay with it so we were all laying there. I then started to make out with Danny and it got really intense. My clothes were pulled off, and he was touching me everywhere. It felt great and I was loving it. Then I could feel someone touching me from my backside as well. It was James. Next thing I knew, they were both all over me. I have never had this experience. I didn't know what to expect but the drugs took away any pain I felt. This was happening, and all I knew is that I would wake up in another bed and it would be nothing new.
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Losing Sight- Memphis May Fire