Fear of Flying

I was getting ready when Harry let himself into my flat. I was pinning my hair up when he threw himself of my bed, “I always forget you live in a mouse hole.”

I scoffed, “Shut up, it’s cozy!” I turned from the mirror and walked over to him, “Up. Give me a proper hug yeah? I haven’t seen you in months!” He stood up and pulled me into a firm hug. Harry’s hugs were the some of the best by far. “I missed you Haz.”

“Missed you too Kenny.” We pulled away and he sat himself back on my bed as I went on a hunt for my boots. “How do you lose things in this tiny space?”

“It’s really easy, believe me.”

“You should just move into my house,” he sighed. “I’m never home anyway, and it’s closer to your campus.”

“By one block!” I shot! “and like always, I’m good thanks.” He’s extended the invitation to move in with him any times. Mostly because I think he hates living alone. Which is probably why, even though he complains about my small fat, he always ends up over here at least twice a week. As much as I’d love to live in Harry’s castle of a house, I didn’t want that burden on our friendship. He really was one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I didn’t want to ruin it by moving into his place and then coming off like I was using him.

That, and it would make hooking up with Zayn slightly more difficult with the lack of alone time.

I found my boots and sat down at the end of my bed to pull them on. “So,” he sighed, “How are things with you and Zayn.”

I gave him a fleeting glance, “Fine.”

“Have you told him you’re in love with him yet?”

“Harry,” I warned, “Stop it. I’m not in love with him.” That was the honest truth, I wasn’t in love with Zayn. I mean, if I let myself, I could easily fall for him, because I do have strong feelings for him, but since he was still keeping me at arm’s length, I wasn’t going to let myself fall into something that could rip my heart to shreds, so I didn’t.

He held his hands up in surrender, “Sorry I’m just trying to-”

“Help, I know. You and Eleanor both but just leave it alone. I’m fine.”

He looked like he wanted to say more but instead just dropped it. I was getting a little fed up with my friends trying to push this on me. “You ready to go then?”

“Yeah.”

*****

Harry and I were the first ones to arrive and Louis and Eleanor’s house. “There’s my beautiful best friend!” she said as she flowed over too me. That was the thing with El, she didn’t just walk, she kind of floated along. In heels and all. Needless to say I’m very jealous, I could hardly tolerate even sitting in heels for more than 5 minutes.

“Hey babe,” I said as I embraced her hug. “Smells like pizza, I thought you were cooking.”

“See, we were,” Louis said as he came in. He gave Harry a nod before he pulled me into a hug, “But then it turns out more people than we original planned for are coming, so we decided that was too much work and just ordered a massive about of pizza.”

“Works for me, I love pizza,” Harry said as he headed for the kitchen as Louis followed after him.

“More people?” I asked El.

She shrugged, “It’s turned into a little party I think. Everyone invited a few friends.

I nodded, “Cool.”

She linked her arm through mine and steered me towards the massive living room. There was a table set up with drink and a few snacks. Clearly, they were prepared for last minute quests. We sat on the couch and we could see Harry and Lou talking in the kitchen as they both ate a slice of pizza. “So… Harry looks good tonight yeah?”

I sent her a skeptical glance before I looked back over at the lads. Harry did look fit, he was wearing his usual attire; skin tight black jeans, those ugly boots and a plaid shirt that was only button to his mid chest. “Yeah, but its Harry, he always looks good.” That was an unspoken fact because everyone on the planet knew it. Harry always looked good. He could roll out of bed and not shower and still look fuckable.

“Oh, does he?” she asked with an airy edge.

I sent her a warning look, “Don’t patronize me El.”

She shrugged, “When’s Zayn coming?”

“No idea, I haven’t talked to him since he left this morning.”

She hummed offhandedly, “Let’s get a drink.”

*****

A nice crowd showed up at Lou and El’s. There were probably around 30 people around, but it was the usual people that hung around when the boys were in town, like all their hometown friends. Contrary to popular belief, One Direction didn’t always have glamorous parties and hang around with other celebrities (though Marvin from JLS and Rochelle from The Saturday’s was in attendance tonight). They usually just hung out with people they’ve known their whole life. I’ve been around this group of people countless times, but that doesn’t mean I felt any less awkward. Like I knew most of them, but not well enough to really enjoy myself if that makes any sense.

I hadn’t talked to Zayn since he got here, when he came and gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. I could kind of see him from where I was sitting on the couch where I was talking with one of Louis friends. He was out on the back deck smoking with Anthony. Part of me wanted to join, but the bigger part of me that disliked Ant in any situation I was put in with him, I decided against it.

I excused myself off the couch, deciding on heading to the kitchen where I saw El wonder off to a little but ago. Halfway there though I was cut off by Harry, who was standing near the staircase with a few people, a guy and a girl, I vaguely recognized but couldn’t put a name to the faces. He who stuck his arm out and pulled me into him, “Where you off too?”

I glanced between him and the people he was talking too as they walked off, leaving us alone. “I was going to find Eleanor.”

“What? Are we boring you?” he asked gesturing around the room.

I shrugged, “Not it’s just… I don’t really know these people you know?”

“Pretty sure you’ve met this group a number of times actually.”

I shrugged, “Yeah, but I’m awkward, I never know what to say to them.”

He pulled me around to sit on the stairs, “Well you’re not awkward around me, hang out with me. What have I missed since I’ve been on tour?”

“Not much really. Work and school is basically the same, except this semester I’m only taking 3 classes. I wanted a lighter load so I could get more hours in at the coffee shop.” I’ve been working at this little hole in the wall café for almost a year now, and now that I was living on my own and student loans weren’t enough to live comfortably, I wanted to work as much as I could.

“Any new lads I should know about?” He asked before he downed the rest of whatever he was drinking.

I let out a dry laugh, “No, there’s just Zayn in my knickers yeah?”

He winced, “Way too much information Kennedy, honestly!”

I shoved my shoulder into his, “Nothing you didn’t already know. What about you? Any birds?”

He smirked, “No.”

“That smile says otherwise Haz.”

“There’s no one honestly,” he shrugged, “There were some nice girls on tour, but nothing to write home about.”

“Oh Harry Styles,” I sighed, “Never one to kiss and tell. What a gentleman.”

“Wouldn’t want to make you jealous love.”

“Aaaand then the real you comes out,” I laughed.

Talking with Harry really made me realize just how much I actually missed him and the others, but him especially. I only had a handful of friends and for some reason I was just really attached to this green eyed, dimple faced Adonis.

Eventually as we caught up at the bottom of the stairs for who knows how long, Niall came over and crawled over us to his on the step above us. I stole a sip of his beer, that almost cost me my life, but other than that I was having a blast with these two in the corner of the room. Eleanor walked by at one point and handed me a soda. Sometimes she was more motherly to me than my own mother.

At one point I was laughing at something that Niall said so hard I hardly noticed Zayn walked up and leaned on the banister next to me, “What’s so funny?”

“Niall’s telling her about the tour prank he pulled on the crew,” Harry said since he was the only one not laughing obnoxiously.

Zayn smirked at his band mates before he turned his attention to me, “You wanna go?”

“Oh,” I shrugged. I didn’t know I was leaving with Zayn, “Sure.” I turned back to the two boys I’d just spent the better part of my evening with, “I’ll see you guys later yeah?”

“Zayn’s gonna get it in,” Niall said cheekily with an equally cheeky smile on his face.

I smacked his shoulder before pulling him into a hug, “Don’t be crude!”

“Sorry love, it was good to see you.”

“You too.” Then Harry was standing up to pull me into a massive hug.

“I’ll text you tomorrow yeah? We can hang out?”

I nodded, “Yeah, my last class ends at 1 then I’m working until 3:30, but after that I’m open.”

“Alright, call me yeah?” The he nodded over at Zayn, “Later mate.”

“Yeah,” he smirked at Niall who was making a rude gesture before he smacked his chest before his hand found the small of my back and he steered me away.

“I gotta let El know I’m leaving,” I said as I searched around for her as we headed towards the door.

“I’ll meet you at my car then? I’m parked across the street.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be right out.” He kissed my head before he left my side heading out the door. I scanned the living room and kitchen before I found Eleanor out on the back patio with Louis. They were wrapped in each other in hushed whispers and I almost felt bad to interrupt. Almost. “Hey, sorry to break this up,” I gestured at them, “But I’m gonna head out.”

“Harry’s leaving?” Lou asked as he let Eleanor lean out of his grasp, but not by much.

I shook my head, “No, I’m leaving with Zayn.” I chose to ignore the eye roll coming from my best friend.

“Ah, well thanks for coming Ken,” he said before pulling me into a side hug. “I know I don’t have to say ‘don’t be a stranger’ because I know you’ll be over here almost as much as we are,” he sassed.
I stuck my tongue out at him, “That’s the price you pay for living with my best friend, now isn’t it?” I turned to EL then, “I’ll see you tomorrow at the coffee cart?” That’s where we always met up every morning, when one of us wasn’t running late. It was this mini coffee stand with shit coffee, but the tea was tolerable. It was easier to go there then all the way to the canteen on campus.

She pulled me into a massive dramatic hug, draping practically all her weight on me, “Yes. You’re so buying mine since you’re leaving my party early.”

I scoffed, “Fine you bitch.”

She pulled out of the hug and cupped my face between her hands, “Be careful yeah?”

“Yes mom,” I said pulling her hands from my face.

*****

The ride to Zayn’s was quiet, like most car rides with him. I messed with the radio until I must have switched the stations one too many times for his liking, his hand grabbed mine off the dial and laced my fingers with his. I glanced over at him and even though he had a cigarette hanging from his lips, the smirk was clear as day.

“What time do you have class tomorrow?”

“Nine,” I glanced at the clock on his dashboard, it was nearing midnight.

He hummed. I could tell his was trying to calculate if it was worth it to go to his house or just go back to mine out of convenience. “I guess I can drive you to class in the morning,” he smiled over at me fleetingly.

I turned my body to angle it towards his as I leaned my head on the headrest. I reached my free hand over and squeezed lightly on his inner thigh, “I’ll make it worth your while.”