Disarranged

Sirius and I grew closer after I revealed the circumstances of my family's death. Suddenly no topics were off limits when we talked in private. It was cathartic for both of us to reveal all the things we had just put away in mental boxes to deal with another time, all the dark and intimate things we didn't want others to know.

My health quickly restored and I was back on my feet. I began to attend the regular Order meetings and give my input. I quickly realized I liked Tonks. Not only were we close in age, but we both shared a distaste for our first names. I also realized I found it very weird to be equals with my old Potions instructor. I could still remember how every time I managed to explode a cauldron he would give the back of my head a tap with a rolled up Daily Prophet.

"It is unfortunate to see you again under such circumstances," he drawled after the first meeting I attended.

"Well, I'm sure you're glad to see your favorite student again," I quipped. He stared at me a few moments, rolled his eyes, and walked away. I knew he secretly enjoyed my presence, though, him and I being the only Slytherins.

I met Harry Potter after the Dementors incident. We briefly spoke, but nothing meaningful. Seeing him made me very sad, so I tried to avoid him and the other children as much as possible. It was fine, however, as Sirius and Remus conversed with them and I was able to remain part of the background.

Since I was 12 Grimmauld Place bound I spent much of my time exploring the home, occasionally cleaning here and there. I had attempted to help Molly cook once, but it ended with her shooing me out of the kitchen. I found the Black family tree and I noted the burnt out marks, recognizing one as Sirius'. I traced the burn, trying to imagine his face there. The Urquarts had a similar thing in the form of a tapestry. It still sat rolled up in the abandoned and derelict Spinel Place.

I attempted to make friends with Kreacher, remembering DeeDee. He was a very brusque creature, but I like to think he appreciated the kindness I showed (and that one time I scolded Sirius for being such a "turd" to the old House Elf).

All in all there was a limit to how much could be explored in the house. Exploring and re-exploring admittedly made me feel a bit stir crazy, and I knew it was worst on Sirius. He absolutely loathed the place.

Sirius and I spent a lot of time together still. While members of the Order came and went and the children had their shenanigans, we spent our time lounging about, often reading or chatting.

I came to view Sirius as a free spirit, and I reckoned that was why 12 Grimmauld Place was so toxic for him. It represented all that bound him and everything he tried to escape from. It was sad, I decided, that he ultimately ended up back here after his escape from Azkaban.

Our relationship had also progressed into new territory. We had become intimate with one another. I reasoned that being such close friends of opposite genders, being cooped up in a house, and sharing so many personal stories would lead to that.

It started on a particularly boring day (they all were boring though, but on a scale of one to ten, this was an eight) when we were on his bed playing "Eye Spy." The game was ending quickly since many of the things in the room were browns and grays.

"I'm so bored!" I whined, throwing my hands up in frustration. "It feels like my bones ache and I just want to go outside and run about!"

"Your Animagus is a black cat right?" he double-checked. I nodded. "Imagine a big black dog and a little black cat running amok! You could even sit on my back!"

For some reason we started laughing hysterically even though it wasn't all that funny. Cabin fever does that to you, and even makes Mundungus Fletcher's prices for cheap junk seem reasonable.

We laughed until tears popped into the corners of our eyes. It was the most I had laughed in a while, potentially since my family passed. I was glad to have shared it with Sirius.

We calmed down despite the aftershock-giggles, and our breathing became regular again. After a few moments he sat up and looked at me.

"I think I know something we can do," he suggested deviously.

"What?" I asked, and in retrospect I should have expected it. His face suddenly came close to mine, his beard prickling my face, and his lips giving a firm peck to my own.

"You're it," he taunted, quickly jumping out of the bed and running down the hall. I was frozen for a few moments, totally caught off guard. I had never thought of Sirius and me as anything beyond the very best of friends. I managed to emerge from my stupor though, and gave a hearty laugh, chasing after him.

We ran every which way: upstairs, downstairs, left, right. We went in and out of unoccupied room in attempts to trick the other. Every time the tables were turned, we kissed, switching who was "it."

Eventually I was standing on my bed, Sirius in the corner. We were each trying to predict which way the other would go, trying to fake the other out. Finally I made my move when he seemed to minutely calm down. I jumped from the bed, planting my lips on his.

The force of my jumped also caused him to hit the wall with a noticeable "thump" and our bodies to collide. The kiss didn't stop like ones we shared throughout the course of the game. Instead it became intense, and hands began to roam. His lips dropped to my neck and I gave a moan.

We made out like naughty teenagers. I vaguely imagined McGonagall walking in shouting: "10 Points from Gryffindor and Slytherin!"

We stopped at the point where our lips were swollen and clothes thoroughly disheveled. His eyes seemed darker and I'm sure I looked totally blissed out.

"You're such an old perv," I couldn't help but quip with a smile, causing him to let out a bark-like laugh.