Disarranged

Sirius was vaguely aware of some noises around him and that he was on a bed. He moved his dry tongue and tried to moisten his mouth before slowly opening his eyes. He had a splitting migraine and his body felt heavy. He was trying to remember why he was in the bed, or how he got there, but any memories were coming up fuzzy.

The door immediately shot open, and Scout stood there like a vision.

"You're awake!" she cried, flying over to his bedside. "You idiot!"

"What did I do?" he asked, somewhat offended and confused.

"You nearly died," Remus' voice came from the door and Sirius looked toward him. He furrowed his brow in thought. Bellatrix.

"You turd!" Scout exclaimed worriedly.

"What a lovely way to be greeted," Sirius sarcastically quipped. Scout gave him a firm smack on the arm. "Ow!"

"You deserve it!" she chided.

"You were out for nearly two weeks," Remus revealed as he pulled a chair over from the wall to sit on. "We couldn't bring you to St. Mungo's either. It's a miracle you're alive."

"Keeping the mood light, Moony," Sirius jested. His statement caused Scout to abruptly stand up and leave the room, leaving Sirius speechless.

Remus sighed and gave Sirius a sympathetic look.

"Is Harry alright?" Sirius questioned. Remus nodded. "Thank goodness."

"Scout, however, is not," added Remus. "She was a frantic mess. We were lucky to have Molly and Tonks to calm her down enough to take care of herself." Remus' tone made Sirius feel ashamed for not being more tactful with Scout.

Sirius spent the day primarily alone. Remus had Order business to attend to and most members were too busy to visit. He knew Scout was somewhere in the house, but was unable to get out of the bed to find her himself.

Finally in the evening she reappeared at his door, a blank look on her face. "You're such a jerk sometimes," she commented.

Sirius gave a long sigh, rubbing his head. "I know."

"And too quick to act," she added.

"I know," he relented.

"And don't think about the consequences," she continued.

"I know," he admitted tiredly. "I know." Scout's expression didn't change, but she walked over to Sirius and sat on the foot of the bed.

"You had me worried," she whispered, looking down at her hands. His larger hand grasped hers.

"And I'm terribly sorry to have done that to you," he apologized. Scout sighed and kicked her shoes off, laying next to Sirius on the bed. He knew all their problems weren't fixed yet and that this was just a bandage, but he knew they could work through it.

"I'm sorry for calling you a turd," she mumbled in his shoulder. She sounded exhausted.

He snorted. "No you're not."

He felt her grin. "No, I'm not."



Before Sirius had woken up I had spent the first two nights at his bedside awake, haunted. It took a lot of cajoling from Molly and Tonks to get me to bed and to get me to eat.

On the fourth day I suddenly felt claustrophobic in 12 Grimmauld Place. I had to get out. When the house was most empty I transformed into a cat and left. I was sure to be severely scolded for the action, but I had to leave if just for a while.

My thoughts took a particular nasty turn as I roamed the streets in my feline form. I became fixated on Lucille Hart and my need for vengeance was suddenly renewed. I couldn't find Bellatrix, I knew that much. She was a higher-up in Voldemort's establishment and wouldn't be doing the pettier things Lucille was assigned to.

I made sure everyone at Grimmauld believed me to be locked up in my room while I searched the streets for any word of Lucille's whereabouts. I found a whisper in Knockturn Alley.

"I hear Hart's doing a job at Spinel Place," one of the men commented. He had a big nose and pointy teeth.

"What she doing there?" the other asked in a low tone, hat casting a shadow on his eyes. "Ain't that family all dead?"

"I hear the daughter's still alive," the first man revealed.

My blood boiled knowing that she could be at Spinel Place, the place where my family died, so I set out to investigate the lead. I didn't think at the time that it could be a set-up or plan. I was only focused on killing her.

I easily entered the house and transformed back, deeming it safe enough. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. It looked as if a family had just upped and left in the middle of their day. The breakfast set still sat on the kitchen table and my family's shoes still sat on the rack. It was eerie.

I slowly walked up the old wooden steps and they creaked with every movement. I noticed the dust had been disturbed on the staircase. Someone was here, or had been here recently.

I made my way to the largest room on the second floor: the library. I touched the double doors and let them swing open, revealing Lucille Hart standing in front of the windows.

"You were always so easy to lure," she snidely commented as we immediately began dueling. She must have been practicing, because she was astoundingly better.

"Find a tutor?" I hissed between spells and deflections.

"Maybe you're losing your touch," she jeered. I started using the books to my advantage, having them flutter about harshly hit her. If it didn't do any damage, at least it distracted her.

"Crucio!" she exclaimed with malice in her eyes. I easily dodged, the spell whizzing right past my nose.

"Deprimo!" I responded, causing pages and dust to fly into the air and the windows to blow out, lowering visibility for both of us.

She suddenly emerged from the dust-fog and slashed the wand, causing a gash to appear on my cheek.

"Don't pretend to be heroic with me, Pyrope!" she yelled. I growled, backing up quickly while deflecting her Crucios to get some distance between us.

"Expulso!" I exclaimed, causing the bookshelf nearest Lucille to explode and causing her to hit the wall. Before she had a chance to retaliate I let out a powerful Aguamenti blast, slamming her against the wall once more and causing her to drop her wand.

I stepped forward on the wand and effectively snapped it with my heel.

"Come on, do it!" she hissed. "Say the curse that you're dying to say!" I glared at her. "Do it and fulfill your destiny."

I gripped my wand. Oh, how easy it would be, I thought. Instead I said, "Petrificus Totalus" and followed it with an Incarcerous for good measure.

"Let Voldemort deal with you," I sniped. "Let's see how kind he is then."

I turned around and walked away, internally mourning the damage done to the library. It had been my father's favorite spot in the house. The library at Adamite Manor didn't compare. I transformed back into a cat as I left Spinel Place for the last time, trying to ignore the remnants of the deceased.

I didn't feel particularly released or relieved after apprehending Lucille. I pondered if I would feel better if I went back and killed her, but I believed that it would make me feel worse.

I returned to 12 Grimmauld with no incidences and curled into my bed, wiping away at the cut Lucille had left on my cheek. There would be bloodstains on the sheets, but I doubt Sirius cared about his family's old things.

I spent the next four days in a haze, often moving through the house like a wandering ghost. People would talk but I just didn't listen. I couldn't for some reason.

One night I sat at the kitchen table alone with a bottle of Firewhiskey. I had made good progress with it when Remus walked in.

"Night off?" I asked, trying to sound interested.

"Yes," he replied, but quickly got down to business. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about the body of Lucille Hart found in Spinel Place, would you?" It was an accusation, not a question.

I paused when I went to pick up my glass. "She was found dead there yesterday," he added gravely.

"I didn't kill her," I told him, a piece of me glad I would never have to deal with the traitorous woman again. "I only immobilized her and left."

"You essentially left her to die." Remus didn't sugarcoat it. "Not only that, you put yourself and everything we've done in danger."

"I wouldn't have squealed," I replied, offended and perceiving him as having little faith in me.

"That's not the point here," he growled. "You're lucky I covered for you."

"Well you didn't have to," I petulantly answered. I hadn't been in the best of mental states, to be fair.

"You know, you and Sirius are so alike sometimes," Remus began to angrily rant. "He always talks about how you're so level-headed and always show him reason, but that's not true. You're just as bull-headed and reckless as he is!"

For some reason those words opened the floodgates and I began to sob. I think I had been holding it in for a while, probably since Sirius was injured. Maybe it was even since my family was murdered.

Remus sighed and sat next to me and began to rub my back. "I know it's been rough," he admitted. "And I know you and Sirius aren't having a holiday being cooped up in here either."

I continued to cry while the weary man next to me wished Sirius was awake to bring me out of my slump.