We Don't Belong

Chapter 37
Andy's POV
Two days later

A Los Angeles teacher was found dead in his apartment two days ago. Apparently the cause of death was suicide. You may remember Michael Fields from the stalking, kidnap, rape, and attempted murder of Ashley Purdy. He was wounded by Ashley's fiancé at the time, Andrew Purdy, at the time known as Andy Biersack. You may remember the couple from the 2010 to 2021 rock band, Black Veil Brides. The teacher, Michael Fields was rumored to be talking with the men's adopted daughter Sophia Purdy. His reasons for suicide are not yet known, but the officers believe it was related to mental issues that Fields had supposedly gotten treatment for, but have recently resurfaced. Andrew and Ashley may also be in jeopardy for...

There my face was, all over the news. I haven't sleep since we heard about Michael. Ashley on the other hand couldn't get up. He'd sleep, get Soph ready for school, eat, go back to sleep, cook dinner, and sleep again.

I started at the screen with many pictures of me, Ashley, Soph, the guys, and occasionally Sammi. They didn't even talk about us this much when IT happened.

Sophia Purdy is still attending school, but we were not aloud to speak with her.

"Please turn it off."

Without thinking I clicked the off button on the remote, then shifted my gaze to Ashley who stood in the hallway.

"Baby, when'd you get up?" I asked.

"Andy..." He sobbed.

He started walking towards me, wiping his teary eyes. I stood up, to met him half way, ready to comfort him.

"Sh...it's okay, beautiful. It's okay."

His cries just got harder, and I pulled him over to the couch.

"Andrew..." He cried again.

"Don't talk Ash. Just let it out."

And that's exactly what he did. I rocked him, like a mother would with her child, and his shaking body moved with me. Eventually, I had broken into song, and he started to sing along. About 10 minutes later, he calmed down to just shaky whimpers.

"I'm sorry." He whispered after he finished crying.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize."

He silently nodded, and closed his eyes.

"I'm sleepy."

"I know, go back to sleep, okay?"

"You're going to forget to pick up Soph. I need to stay awake to remind you.

"I'll remember. Just go.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too. Forever and always."

He sighed and slumped over into my lap.

"Carry me." He mumbled through my thigh.

"Really?"

"Please..."

I groaned and picked him up, throwing him over my shoulder and holding him by his butt. After throwing him on the bed I tucked him in, again like a mother would with her child.

"Sweet dreams."

"Thanks babe."

I smiled, kissed his head, and left for the living room again. Taking my place on the couch, I looked at a folded piece of paper on the coffee table. I won't look at it's contents. Ashley told me that Michael left him a note, and I guess he did for me too. The other day, an officer handed it to me. After staring at the officer for a couple of minutes, I asked if I could leave, and he had to let me. I exited the room and looked through the glass at the crying Ashley. I saw him scoot his letter back to the officer and get up. That's when I hugged him. All along that letter was shoved in my back pocket.

Again, I stared at it, afraid to open it. What will I gain from opening it? Nothing.

But what will you loose, Andrew?

I sighed and reached for it. Unfolding it, my eyes read the contents.

Andy,
Wow, how do I even begin? 20 years, 17 if we want to be technical. I know this is not what you're expecting, but this is how it is. I can't change what happened, but I can tell you that I was a new man. I went to church every Sunday, I got into bible study, and I did community service, despite my injuries. The neck down you know, that's how bad my injuries were. When you shot me it actually went through my back and hit a bundle of nerves that happened to be connect to my spinal cord. The second shot is what made the situation fatal. It damaged other nerves, causing me to not be able to move. I passed out from the pain which is why you probably thought I was dead. After I was treated, I was admitted into Bellevue Hospital Center. They treated me like I was insane, which I probably was, and got me into physical therapy. It was useless at first, I was so angry, but at myself. I was able to move my neck a little, then I gradually regained my senses. It still hurts sometimes. It doesn't matter now. I just want to say I'm sorry for everything. I hope Sophia isn't mad at you. She's a beautiful girl Andy, and a great kid. I've only known her for a couple of days, but wow. Keep doing what you're doing.
-Michael

What do I feel? I'm not angry. I'm not sad. I'm not happier either. I'm numb. I remember the feeling all too well. If it weren't for Ashley when I was in high school–no. I'm not even going to think about it.

Getting off of the couch, I went to the kitchen, opening a drawer and pulling a lighter out. Then I charged for the back door and found myself standing in the yard. I stared at the lit flame in my hand and wasted no time putting the paper to it. It's nothing now, nothing but a horrible memory.

I wanted Ashley now. Is it weird that making love is our way of coping with things?

I texted mom and asked her to pick Soph up and take her to Sammi's just in case I forgot to again. Quietly, I stepped into our room, closing the door and locking it just in case. I stripped out of my clothing, leaving me in just boxers and climbed in bed with Ashley. He didn't move a muscle and that's exactly what I wanted.

I got in a spooning position and started kissing his shoulders, my hand on the inside of his boxers, massaging his thigh.

"Andy, stop." he mumbled.

"I want you Ash." I whispered in his ear. I felt him shiver, and his leg was covered in goosebumps.

"I'm tired. Leave me alone."

"But I can't."

I licked around his ear, and took his earlobe between my teeth, and nibbled.

"Andy, stop!"

I blew my breath and sat up crossing my arms. Ashley laid there as if nothin had happened. After a minute he turned around and looked at me.

"Giving up so quickly?"

"Well you're too tired for me. What's the point of trying?"

"You're such a baby." I crossed my arms over and gave him the stern face. He shook his head and laughed before sitting up, and crawling on top of me. "If this is what you want then this is what you get.

I smiled and grabbed his hips to keep him balanced before attacking his lips. I guess you know that happened from there.