Hopes on Fire

The first day that Jack and Alex met was tragic. Well, for Alex it was. He was five years old and sitting at lunch outside with his friends when he dropped his slice of watermelon and really, at five years old, dropping your watermelon is a big deal.

So needless to say, he started crying and before he knew what was going on, there was a little black-haired boy handing him a slice of watermelon, the one that was most certainly not on the ground. Alex looked up and smiled, taking the slice of watermelon and happily taking a bite with a ‘thank you’. The other boy just smiled and nodded and the two spent the rest of the afternoon playing tag, because really, what was more important that tag?

Alex wasn’t the loudest kid ever. Jack, however, was. He would say what he wanted when he wanted and there wasn’t a thing to stop him. If he wanted to talk about Cars, he’d talk about Cars. If he wanted to talk about coloring, he’d talk about coloring.

Alex had to agree, of course, that coloring was the highlight of being a child. But he was six now, much too old for petty things like coloring. No, he was a man now, he even had his own Indiana Jones whip and hat and his mom trusted him enough to have Legos. Why would he even need silly things like crayons or markers when he could have Legos?

Despite Jack’s tendency to argue with people on anything and everything, he never argued when he knew he was wrong. So when he and Alex were arguing over which was better, coloring or Legos, Alex persuaded his mom to let his newfound friend to come over and play Legos with him.

The next day, Jack spent the afternoon with Alex playing Legos, and he admitted that coloring was second best.

But then he tried putting a Lego in his mouth and Alex’s eyes blew wide. “No, you’re not allowed to do that,” he whined. “Mommy said we can’t put Legos in our mouths because she doesn’t want us to choke.”

Jack shrugged, keeping the blue cube in his mouth. Alex frowned and shouted, “Mommy! Jack’s putting Legos in his mouth when you told us not to!”

Sure enough, his mother came running and Jack spat the Lego out promptly. “Jack,” Isobel warned. “You are not to put Legos in your mouth anymore, okay?”

Jack nodded obediently and Alex’s mother left. Jack stuck his tongue out at Alex and Alex gasped—why would he use such a rude gesture? Alex was just trying to keep him safe, after all.

~~~

By middle school, Jack was popular and had a lot of friends, and Alex was quiet and shy, although not around his few friends. Jack had girls all over him, and Alex didn’t.

In sixth grade, Alex was scared. It was an entirely new school, so many new people, more teachers, more homework, more school. Alex wasn’t bad in school by any means, but he was afraid of being picked on.

But sixth grade came easily and seventh did too. Eighth grade was a slightly different story. Kids called him names and he and Jack drifted to the point where they hardly spoke—to the point where they didn’t speak to each other. Jack stayed popular and Alex didn’t.

But after a few weeks, they got talking again, and went back to being best friends.

~~~

By the time the two were in their sophomore year of high school, Jack had had a girlfriend and a first kiss and Alex had neither. Hell, he didn’t even know if he was straight.

But Jack was bisexual, and he’d come out to Alex as so. Not to the school or his parents, just his best friend.

He was completely accepting of it and Jack had cried in happiness and hugged him and kissed his cheek. Alex refused to admit that it sent butterflies through him and set every nerve on fire just from that tiny, meaningless kiss.

The next time he and Jack hung out, he got the feeling that Jack liked him. His best friend was a little more touchy feely, complimenting Alex on things he usually didn’t (his laugh, eyes, his smile) and it was insanely sweet and made Alex blush. Butterflies swarmed around in his stomach when Jack hugged him goodbye.

He spent that night thinking about why he felt like that around his best friend. He shouldn’t be waking up from dreams of kissing the younger or getting off on him (that one he was really ashamed of—he shouldn’t get a boner from thinking about his best friend having one).

After hours and hours of thinking, he decided that he might have a teeny tiny itsy bitsy crush on Jack. Nothing serious of course; it’d probably blow over in a week. That’s how all of his crushes were—short lived and petty.

And besides, this was his best friend. Why would he ruin a friendship by liking the other person too seriously?

~~~

A few weeks later, Jack asked Alex on a date. Not necessarily an official date, but Jack seemed nervous asking and Alex decided that it would be a date, official or not.

Jack had asked to go to the creek with him, saying that they could sit on the bridge and Alex could take pictures since Jack knew he liked photography. Alex had agreed, obviously. Who would turn down a date with their best friend?

So that weekend, Jack’s mom (neither had their license yet) picked Alex up from his house and drove to the hiking woods, the ones where there were so many roads to go off from that you could easily get lost. But Jack had always been one to keep track of where they were going, so Alex wasn’t too worried.

They walked alone together on the thin dirt road and talked. Alex discovered that he really liked Jack’s voice; it was smooth and confident but not cocky. He also found out that he liked Jack’s laugh, that it was something he could listen to for hours on end or listen to in order to cheer himself up when he was in a bad mood.

After about forty-five minutes of walking, Jack hesitantly reached over and slid his hand in Alex’s. The elder glanced down and smiled, curling his hand around his best friend’s in return. Jack smiled shyly and they continued their conversation about what they wanted to do after college.

It was Alex’s first time holding someone’s hand. Hell, it was his time being on a date. It was his first time having someone even show interest in him like that. Girls weren’t interested in him—he was the loser with weird hair and weird music taste and everyone wondered how he’d become best friends with someone as popular as Jack.

After an hour (give or take some time), they came across a little bridge. Alex assumed they were just going across it, but Jack insisted that they sit on the edge to take a little break from walking. Alex was perfectly okay with that and they sat down next to each other, their feet dangling over the edge above the little creek running beneath them.

Even if Jack hadn’t made the outing sound like a date, it definitely had a different feel to it. They weren’t cracking as many inappropriate jokes and both were acting a bit shy and were certainly more polite. Alex kind of liked it.

He got out his camera (it was fancy and expensive, he’d tell you) and pointed it ahead of him. The scenery was beautiful—healthy trees a bit in front of them and water trickling over rocks, a tiny little waterfall a few feet ahead. A fallen tree was over the creek about an eighth of a mile ahead. Alex took the picture and smiled; it’d turned out exactly how he wanted it to.

“You look nice today, by the way,” Jack stated after a few moments of silence.

Alex smiled and blushed lightly. “Thank you. You do, too.”

Jack smiled back and reached up, pushing a piece of hair from Alex’s eyes. There were a few slightly intense seconds of staring in each other’s eyes before Jack was leaning in and brushing his lips against Alex’s.

Alex really hadn’t been expecting it, although he should have been. What else would Jack have done? But he’d been focusing more on how pretty Jack’s eyes were instead of what Jack was actually doing.

So naturally, he was surprised. Jack pulled away before he could respond in any sort of way and fuck, he looked so nervous.

“Sorry,” Jack whispered, a worried expression as his eyebrows pulled together just slightly.

“No, I…” Alex started, unsure of how to state it. “I just wasn’t expecting that,” he settled for.

“Oh.”

“And that was sort of my first kiss.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I would have thought you had by now.”

“And this is also my first date.”

“Oh. Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

“But you can kiss me again.”

Jack laughed lightly and Alex smiled, his hand going to the back of his best friend’s (boyfriend’s?) neck as the younger leant in again. This time when Jack’s lips hit his own, he pressed back, eyes falling closed again.

Jack’s hand settled on the small of the boy’s back as they kissed, and it wasn’t fact, not by any means. Jack kept it innocent and rather short, to Alex’s disappointment, since he had decided that he really liked kissing. His stomach was still twisting and turning in excitement and nerves and his head was spinning, his heart racing.

Kissing was nice, he thought, and kissing Jack is nicer.

When Jack’s mom dropped Alex off at home that night, Jack kissed him goodnight and asked him to be his boyfriend. Of course, Alex agreed and they kissed once more before Alex went inside, cliché butterflies swarming in his stomach and a comforting warmth spreading through his veins.

~~~

Jack came out after that, to the school and his family. Everyone was okay with it and everyone was okay with him dating Alex, which Alex was grateful for. Of course there were the few people who insisted that a man dating a man was a sin, but Jack ignored it and convinced Alex that they were just being douchebags. The two shamelessly held hands in the hall and kissed each other hello and goodbye and Alex liked dating. They’d had one serious make-out session, but it’d ended after Alex got ahead of himself and pulled Jack’s shirt off. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other shirtless, but never had they taken off clothes while kissing.

They’d had their own little ‘sex talk’ after that and Jack explained that he wasn’t quite ready, and Alex said the same thing. At this point they were juniors and most would think that both were sex crazed, but neither was.

Alex had told Jack long ago that his dream date was to sit in bed in their pajamas—or whatever they wore to bed—and watch cartoons and cuddle and drink tea and eat cookies, and Jack had done that with him multiple times. He’d decided that the younger was the most perfect boyfriend in the entire fucking world.

By the time they were living together, they’d said ‘I love you’ and had had sex only a few times.

When they were both twenty-six, Jack told Alex that they were going on a date that afternoon. Alex was excited, although he was sure it wouldn’t be anything different than a nice dinner and having sex. Not that he didn’t like that, but it was often what Jack did when he said they were going out.

Jack got home from work at about three in the afternoon and announced to Alex that they needed to go right away before the sun went down. Alex was confused, but went along with it and let Jack pull him out to the car.

“Put this on,” Jack stated, and handed Alex a strip of cloth.

“Put it on where?”

“Over your eyes?”

“Why?”

“Shut up and just do it please?”

Alex sighed and did as he was told. Jack started the car and Alex sat quietly listening to the radio.

About fifteen minutes later, Jack was stopping the car and telling Alex to get out. The elder got out blindly, stumbling a little and having Jack catch him. “Watch out, babe,” Jack laughed.

“Can I take the blindfold off yet?”

“No.”

Jack placed his hand on the small of his boyfriend’s back and gently pushed him forward. “Try not to trip,” he stated.

Alex nodded and let Jack gently push him along, turning corners occasionally. They talked as they went and Alex noticed that it smelled nice around them, wherever they were. It was quiet.

They walked for a long time, Jack making nice conversation, his hand still on the small of his boyfriend’s back. After about an hour or so of walking, Jack stopped, telling Alex to stop as well.

“Take off the blindfold,” he instructed. Alex did as he was told and glanced around at his surroundings, his breath catching in his throat. They were on the little bridge they sat on on their first date.

“Do you remember it?” Jack asked with an excited grin. Alex nodded and Jack sat down on the edge of the bridge, pulling Alex down with him. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

Alex nodded again and Jack laced their fingers together, just like on their first date. “I can’t believe you knew exactly where to go,” Alex stated finally.

Jack shrugged. “I have a good memory.”

Alex smiled and leant over to kiss him. Jack kissed back happily for a few seconds before pulling away and standing up. Alex stood up with him and Jack smiled a bit, giving him another kiss. “Are we leaving?” Alex asked.

“Not yet… I wanna do something.”

“We’re not having sex in a public hiking forest, Jack.”

Jack laughed. “No, babe, I wasn’t suggesting that.”

He reached into his pocket and Alex assumed he was getting his phone. But he pulled out a little ring box and Alex’s eyes widened as his boyfriend avoided eye contact, just looking at the box and saying, “I’m probably being really stupid right now, but I really love you… And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want a family with you, I want… I just want you and I’m being stupid, I’m sorry, but…” he got down on one knee and finally made eye contact, his teeth digging into his lower lip in nervousness. “Will you marry me?”

Alex nodded slowly, his heart racing. “Yes.”

~~~

The night of their (rather small) wedding, Jack insisted that their first dance be when no one was watching so that he wouldn’t feel the pressure to make it perfect.

So they danced together on the back of their little temporary house, the honeymoon suite Jack had gotten, and neither messed up. Which Alex thought was surprising, since he’d never danced before, but Jack made it seem so easy. They had music, not loud music because it was from people on the beach below them, but it was music all the same and Alex thought that everything was perfect.

Jack held him close as they danced, their bodies pressed together with Alex’s hand on Jack’s shoulder and Jack’s on the small of Alex’s back. They didn’t speak, but words didn’t need to be said.

They made love that night, definitely not for the first time but certainly the most romantic, the way Alex’s body curved up into Jack’s, soft gasps and moans and pleads of more leaving his lips. Jack was as gentle as could be, his hands soft on Alex’s skin and his words even softer.

They’d taken a bath after that, Alex between Jack’s legs, his back to the younger’s chest. Jack’s comforting arms were around him and he decided that his husband was pure perfection, the only flawless thing in the world.

He’d always known that, of course, but when they had nights like that, it was confirmed again.

And just before Alex had slipped into sleep last that night, Jack had whispered ever so softly to him,

“If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty.”

(read A/N)